Final Update: AITA for threatening my wife with divorce after she quit her job to be a “tradwife”?

For those who want to read the previous part: Update: AITA for threatening my wife with divorce after she quit her job to be a “tradwife”

I’m beyond grateful for all the love and support from this community—it has helped me survive some incredibly dark days. I’ve been drinking a lot lately just to numb the pain, and I’ve felt like a zombie wandering through life with no purpose.

My wife’s decision to quit her job and embrace a “tradwife” lifestyle was the ultimate slap in the face, especially given my serious health issues. After leaving for a day at my parents’ house to collect my thoughts, I returned determined to resolve this nightmare. However, things only worsened, and I ended up threatening divorce, which has now left our family in chaos.

‘Final Update: AITA for threatening my wife with divorce after she quit her job to be a “tradwife”?’

Dr. Laura Brown, a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship stress and family dynamics, explains that when one partner makes major decisions without mutual consent, it creates deep emotional scars that can be difficult to mend. “When a partner unilaterally decides to change the family’s financial and lifestyle structure, it not only disrupts the balance of shared responsibilities but also undermines the trust that holds the relationship together.”

Dr. Brown notes that my wife’s choice to quit her job—and the lack of any discussion about it—has left me feeling isolated, particularly as I manage a serious health condition. “In a healthy partnership, even difficult changes should be made together, with both partners understanding the impact on each other’s well-being. When one person ignores these needs, the resulting imbalance can lead to feelings of betrayal and deep emotional distress,” she adds.

Her insight suggests that while my reaction may seem harsh to some, it is a desperate cry for a fair, balanced relationship where both partners share responsibilities and respect each other’s limitations. Given that my health and my ability to care for our children are at risk, setting these boundaries—even if it means threatening divorce—can be seen as an attempt to preserve not just my own well-being, but the stability of our family.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The responses here have been mixed, though many continue to side with my decision. Some Redditors express understanding, arguing that if a partner’s unilateral decisions jeopardize the family’s financial and emotional stability, a threat of divorce is a necessary wake-up call. Several users emphasize that my wife’s actions—ignoring the need for mutual decision-making and jeopardizing our well-being—are unacceptable, especially given my health risks.

Others caution that divorce is a drastic measure and suggest counseling as a way to bridge our differences. Yet, a significant number of commenters agree that the balance of responsibility in a marriage must be maintained, and if that balance is disrupted, I am within my rights to consider ending the relationship.

Navigating a relationship where one partner consistently makes unilateral decisions—especially ones that impact the entire family—can be incredibly challenging. While part of me still loves my wife and hopes for reconciliation, my health and our children’s future demand that I set clear boundaries.

Divorce was never something I planned, but when the balance of mutual respect is shattered, drastic measures sometimes become necessary. What would you do in a similar situation? Would you compromise, or is it essential to draw a line when your well-being and that of your children are at stake? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.