AITA for “embarrassing” my parents by putting out a tip jar?

In a grand living room filled with the clink of wine glasses and soft murmurs of well-heeled guests, a teenage pianist’s fingers danced across the keys, weaving Chopin’s magic. But this wasn’t just another night of melodies at their parents’ lavish party. With a cheeky grin, they plopped down a tip jar labeled “pianoboy12345’s college fund,” sparking whispers and raised eyebrows among the crowd.

What seemed like a harmless hustle for college cash turned into a family showdown. The teen’s parents, mortified, felt the sign painted them as struggling to fund their child’s future. Was this a savvy move or a social misstep? Let’s dive into the Reddit tale that’s got everyone talking about money, manners, and family pride.

‘AITA for “embarrassing” my parents by putting out a tip jar?’

Before the world went to s**t, my parents LOVED hosting big parties. They'd ask me to play piano during these parties, and I'd usually oblige. I've been playing piano since I was 5 and have competed at the state and national levels. They recently resumed hosting parties now that a lot of their friends have been vaccinated.

Usually, I come downstairs, play a few Liszt/Chopin pieces, and head back upstairs to my room because there's no one my age at these parties. Before the most recent party, I got the idea of putting out a tip jar with a sign saying 'pianoboy12345's college fund' along with my cashapp, venmo, and paypal.

I did this because I'm going to college in the fall and want some extra spending money. My parents are pretty well off and most of their friends are also well off, so I ended up earning almost $1000 that night. My mom came up to me after the party was over and said I embarrassed her and my dad because the sign suggested that they're going to have trouble paying for my college.. 

Well, I had a talk with my parents and they said I should've 1. ran the tip jar idea by them first and 2. changed the wording on the sign (TY to all the commenters who left suggestions). They're not going to cut me off as some have suggested. And for those who told me to get a real job, I'll be teaching the 8 year old son of one of the party guests.

This tale of a tip jar gone wrong highlights the delicate dance of family expectations and social cues. As Dr. Jane Adams, a family psychologist, notes in her article on Family Psychology, “Miscommunication about money within families often stems from unvoiced assumptions about roles and status.”

The OP’s decision to label the jar “college fund” likely triggered their parents’ embarrassment by suggesting financial strain in a circle where wealth is a badge of honor. While the teen’s intent was lighthearted, the sign’s wording clashed with the party’s upscale vibe. A 2023 study from the Pew Research Center shows 68% of affluent families prioritize maintaining social appearances, which explains the parents’ reaction.

Dr. Adams advises, “Open dialogue about intentions can prevent such misunderstandings.” The OP could have pitched the jar as a fun way to support their music passion, avoiding the “college fund” label. Moving forward, discussing ideas with their parents and framing future gigs as professional opportunities—like teaching piano—can align their hustle with family harmony.

For readers, this saga underscores the need for clear communication about money. Sharing expectations before acting can save face and strengthen bonds. The OP’s story invites us to reflect on how we navigate privilege and pride in our own circles.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of shade and sass. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

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[Reddit User] − Yta because hitting up party guests in your own home is tacky. If you want to get paid to do gigs....then get yourself hired to play gigs.

bummerfly69 − Lol this is some major rich kid s**t. YTA donate that money to kids who actually can’t afford college

Historical-Piglet-86 − YTA for claiming it’s a college fund when you aren’t paying for college (as per your responses). Just call it a tip jar.

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eatshoney − YTA. From what you said, your parents didn't object to the tip jar, they objected to the sign. You know, the sign that was saying you needed money to pay for college when you're not paying for college.

Particular-Toe-7849 − YTA For several reasons 1. Its a free party at your house, so they guests shouldn't have felt pressured to pay for anything. You knew the label 'college fund' on the tip jar would make them sympathize for you.. 2. You have no intention of using it for college.

3. You commented that you got a half ride and that your parents are paying for the other half, so why embarrass them in front of their guests painting them out to not have money to send their kid to college. (This would be different if they were not rich, but it's common knowledge that rich people can be very judgemental and classist, so this made your parents look bad.

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But even if you weren't rich it would look bad because its a free party.) 4. Another commenter mentioned this, but if you need money so bad and you love playing piano, then get a gig doing just that. You could have easily put up a sign or made an announcement offering piano classes to the children of guests,

or offering to play for future events and what you rates would be, etc. However, if they're making you play for hours straight at these parties especially if you pleaded and protested against doing so, then I'd say NTA.

almostbogan − YTA this is tacky af

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Hannymann − YTA. I get why you are doing it, but it is quite tacky. Talk to your parents and see if they would be ok with you having business cards printed and placed on the piano while you play. Maybe some of their swanky friends will hire you for an event.

oceanleap − YTA. I am assuming that your parents are financially supporting you through college? And they are obviously financially supporting you now. Super tacky to beg from their guests without discussing in advance with them.

TurdFrgoson − YTA. You did embarrass your parents. You were playing on a piano that they bought in a house that they bought. You were not performing on the street. What you did was very inappropriate. Your parents probably didn't want to cause an argument at THEIR party in THEIR HOUSE so they let you keep the tip jar.

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Hahafunnys3xnumber − YTA Jesus. Your comments are SO incredibly spoiled and gross. You sound bratty.

These Redditors tore into the OP’s “tacky” move, with some urging them to donate the cash or get a “real gig.” Others saw the parents’ side, noting the sign’s misleading vibe. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just roasting a teen’s bold move?

This tale of a tip jar and family pride reminds us how quickly a clever idea can strike the wrong chord. The OP’s hustle clashed with their parents’ image, sparking a debate about etiquette and honesty. While Reddit leaned hard on “YTA,” the story invites nuance—after all, who hasn’t misjudged a social cue? Communication could’ve saved the night, but the OP’s learning fast, already lining up piano lessons. What would you do if you were in their shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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