WIBTA for forcing my company to choose between firing a coworker or my quitting, when my departure will s**ew over a lot of people?

In a bustling office where deadlines hum like a busy beehive, one employee’s world turned upside down when a trusted friend morphed into a workplace nemesis. Picture the tension: whispered rumors, icy glares, and a coworker’s relentless campaign to tarnish a reputation. This isn’t a soap opera—it’s the real-life drama of a Reddit user, caught in a toxic workplace spiral. Their role? Critical, irreplaceable, the kind that keeps the company’s gears grinding smoothly.

The weight of this conflict is palpable, pushing the employee to a breaking point: demand the coworker’s dismissal or walk away, leaving chaos in their wake. The dilemma tugs at loyalty to colleagues and self-preservation, sparking a debate about workplace ethics and personal boundaries. How do you balance your mental health against the fallout of leaving a vital role?

‘WIBTA for forcing my company to choose between firing a coworker or my quitting, when my departure will s**ew over a lot of people?’

I hold a key position in a small business (a few hundred users). What I do requires some significant skill and it would take at least six months to get somebody else trained and familiar enough with keeping things running if I left: without exaggeration, if I departed things would break down within a couple of days and it would be very expensive and difficult to keep things going.

I guarantee that even if I quit they would be calling me for 'just this one thing' within days of my departure. I have a coworker I used to be very good friends with, then for no reason at all (that I know of) she turned against me completely and has been actively trying to spread rumors about me, spread transparent lies and actively try to get me fired.

People who know us both tell me some of the outlandish stories she has been telling me, and they are all confused because we used to be close and when they ask me what happened I honestly have no idea. I had been actively avoiding her for months and with every passing week she became more and more angry and hostile, stirring up drama,

being extremely petty, lying about certain events to the top management (her lies were in writing and were proven to be false), and actively ignoring clear directions from the top (for example she was ordered by the CxO over her to undo a change she made to one of the systems, in writing, and never did - telling others aware of the situation 'I'm not going to do that'.)

Management has taken no action against me, I doubt they believe her stories and my work speaks for itself, but she is bestest besties with people at the top (10 smoking breaks a day) and no matter what she does nothing ever happens to her.

No visible reprimands, never being told to knock it off, nothing.  I suspect that the top people choose to turn a blind eye and hope it kind of goes away, but there is no hope of this happening. I'm ready to walk away.

Her hostility and toxicity have made me extremely uncomfortable, sent me into therapy and I am completely stressed about it.  But at the same time, I can soldier on and as long as the top bosses don't act on any of her claims I can stay the course and just work on not letting her get to me.

It isn't easy, but I can survive. If I leave I'll be screwing over a lot of people who rely on me and have absolutely nothing to do with any of this. It will affect their ability to do their job, and due to regulatory and legal obligations there could be significant consequences for the company as a whole.

There would be major collateral damage done, but it would be done only because my fee fees were hurt and because I let a sociopathic narcissist (actually diagnosed, we used to be friends and I know her secrets) who enjoys being a toxic bully get to me? WIBTA if I told the company that they can't have both of us working here, either they fire her or I walk out the door?

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Navigating workplace hostility can feel like walking a tightrope over a pit of office politics. The Reddit user’s clash with a toxic coworker highlights a classic issue: unchecked behavior in professional settings. The coworker’s lies and defiance, ignored by management, create what experts call a “hostile work environment.” According to Forbes, such environments erode morale and productivity, costing companies millions annually.

Dr. Amy Cooper Hakim, an expert in workplace dynamics, notes, “When toxic behavior is tolerated, it signals to employees that their well-being isn’t valued” . Here, the coworker’s actions—spreading rumors, ignoring directives—reflect a power play, possibly fueled by personal grievances. The OP’s stress and therapy underscore the emotional toll, a common outcome when management fails to intervene.

This situation mirrors broader issues of workplace accountability. A 2021 SHRM study found 76% of employees who experienced toxicity felt demotivated . The OP faces opposing pressures: their critical role versus their mental health. The coworker’s unchecked behavior, possibly emboldened by friendships with leadership, complicates resolution.

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For solutions, experts suggest documenting incidents and reporting to HR, using phrases like “hostile work environment” to prompt action. If unresolved, seeking new opportunities may be wiser than an ultimatum, which risks burning bridges. The OP should prioritize self-care, leveraging their skills for a healthier workplace, while encouraging open dialogue with management to address the toxicity.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a spicy mix of support and strategy for the OP’s workplace woes. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

el_grande_ricardo − NTA but you are using the wrong tactic. Do NOT give them an ultimatum ' get rid of her or else' Talk to HR using the magic words 'Hostile Work Environment'. They either fix the situation or you get a lawyer.

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And as an aside you aren't irreplaceable. I'm in much the same situation - no one in my company has the knowledge I do. But if I dropped dead tomorrow, they would muddle through just fine. That's what vendor support is for.

LobsterBoi420 − NTA, at the end of the day its a job and they can't expect you to stay there forever. You should however submit a complain to some form of HR or management about them. At the end of the day feelings are important and do they really want someone working for them who tells lies like that?

teresajs − NTA. But an ultimatum won't look good for you.. Instead, apply for work elsewhere and leave when you find a good position somewhere else.

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NachoDelFuego − NTA, but honestly, you're probably just better giving your two weeks notice and giving their inaction on your co-worker's lies and slander as the reason.

[Reddit User] − If I leave I'll be screwing over a lot of people who rely on me. Management would be doing that by not intervening. You're only in charge of yourself. They make the decisions that could affect the entire company. I think asking for her to be fired is a bit of a reach, but having her mothballed, or otherwise, not allowed to talk to or about you, is more than fair.. Leverage your position in your favor, NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA- for a second, I thought I wrote this, I’m going through the exact same thing. Quit. The situation won’t get any better. When toxic employees don’t get reprimanded, it’s a sign of a toxic company that you won’t want to retire from.

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ThisIsNotAT0y − NTA morally but it sounds like an incredibly bad career move. You would be burning bridges for sure. Have you formally filed a complaint with HR? As hard as it is to replace you, they will.

Things won't move as smoothly but they'll work it out. And if she really is friends with the top bosses there is a good chance this will not turn out the way you're hoping. Talk to HR and at the same time start looking for another job.

SageAndRage − NTA, but I wouldn't give them the option. This behavior should have stopped a long time ago and you shouldn't work for a company that has knowingly allowed this to continue. You have a right to feel safe at work, and her behavior is very troubling. Take care of yourself OP, your employer obviously doesn't care about you at all.

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Maleficent_Ad_3958 − NTA. Look for a different job. Your company has made its choice and should suffer the consequences.

HungryAd2461 − NTA. Run! I 100% promise you I was going to diagnose your ex-friend as a narcissist before you confirmed it. You know why they turned on you? They only became your friend to find out your weaknesses. Narcissists are threatened by those they deem better than them.

Narcissists only recognise two types of people and they deem both better than them. 1) They need that person and will suck up to them. 2) They see that person as competition and will take them out by any means necessary. You have only 2 options.

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Ask your company to move you to a different physical address away from the narc. Or quit and move on. Your ex-friend will literally lie you into jail if they can. You need to remove yourself out of the danger zone as in yesterday. Good luck and God bless.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, slamming the coworker’s antics and management’s inaction. Some urged HR complaints, others a swift exit. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

This workplace saga reveals the messy reality of navigating toxicity when you’re the linchpin holding things together. The OP’s struggle—balancing duty to a company against personal well-being—resonates with anyone who’s faced a bully at work. While Reddit’s chorus leans toward action, the path forward demands strategy and self-preservation. What would you do if you were stuck between a toxic coworker and a critical role? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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