AITA For getting upset with BF for turning off WIFI?

Picture a quiet evening, the glow of a laptop screen casting shadows in a cozy apartment, where a college student is laser-focused on a high-stakes online test. The clock ticks, tension hums, and every second counts. For one young woman, this was her reality—until her boyfriend, in a moment of gaming frustration, flipped the Wi-Fi switch. What followed was a 45-minute ordeal that nearly derailed her academic efforts, sparking a fiery clash of priorities and emotions.

Her story, shared on Reddit, captures a relatable struggle: balancing personal goals with relationship dynamics. Feeling sabotaged, she called out her boyfriend’s thoughtless act, only to be met with defensiveness and a heated exit. Readers are left wondering: was her anger justified, or did she overstep? This tale of miscommunication and clashing priorities sets the stage for a deeper look at respect and accountability in relationships.

‘AITA For getting upset with BF for turning off WIFI?’

I am taking 3 college courses on line. I break each course up into two days a week per course. So, I do school work six days a week for about four hours each day, including studying. This has never been an issue with my BF as we are still able to spend plenty of time together.

Today, I had a test for one of my courses, it was due by 11pm. There is only one opportunity for the test. This course I'm struggling a little bit with the material, so I spoke with my BF and asked him to please not disturb me for a few hours while I study and did my test. He agreed and told me he'd play his game while I studied and after we'd have a date night.

I study for an hour, then got a drink real quick and kissed BF and said I was going to take the test now. He said great I'm almost done with the game, I'll shower and get ready for our date. I said ok and went back to the room. I was 5 minutes into my test when the page wouldn't load. I checked my internet connection on my laptop and it wasn't connected.

I went and asked BF if he did something to the WIFI, he said Yea, I had to restart the router and modem my game stopped loading. I asked why he didn't say anything to me, as he knew I was taking a test. He said that it would connect again in just a minute and I could finish the test and it wasn't a big deal. I said it was since he knew what I was doing a test and he cut the WIFI without telling me.

Well, the WIFI didn't immediately reconnect. It took 45 minutes to figure out the problem, he managed to snap a piece off the cord and it wouldn't properly reconnect to the router. He had an extra but took a while to find it. When I was finally able to get back on to my test I had 10 minutes left to answer 55 questions. I just barely passed with a low C.

I told him I felt he intentionally messed up my test. Since he knew which class it was for and he gave no prior warning to turning off the internet. He said I told him not to disturb me and he was just following orders. I said if you're going to turn off the WIFI while someone is doing school work/tests online, its common sense to say something to the person currently using it.

He said I was intentionally causing a fight so I didn't have to go on a date with him. I said no I just think your a jerk because you know how much I've been struggling with this course and you sabotaged my test for a stupid f\*cking game. He said I was a b\*tch, and left the apartment.  I called a friend, who agreed with him that since I said to not disturb me, he was just doing as told. AITA here? Did I over react?

Relationships thrive on communication, but when a router reset derails a critical moment, things get messy. The original poster (OP) faced a classic clash: her academic focus versus her boyfriend’s gaming fix. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Successful couples manage conflict by addressing issues directly and respectfully” (Gottman Institute). Here, the boyfriend’s failure to warn OP about the Wi-Fi reset ignored her clearly stated needs, escalating a preventable situation.

The OP’s frustration stems from her boyfriend prioritizing his game over her test, knowing she was struggling with the course. His excuse—following her “don’t disturb” request—feels flimsy, as restarting the Wi-Fi inherently disrupted her. Meanwhile, his defensive retort and name-calling suggest a lack of accountability. Relationship counselor Susan Winter explains, “Respecting a partner’s goals requires active consideration, not passive excuses” (Susan Winter). His actions, intentional or not, sidelined OP’s efforts.

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This situation reflects a broader issue: misaligned priorities in relationships. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 68% of couples report conflicts over time management and individual goals (SAGE Journals). OP’s boyfriend could have checked with her before resetting the router, a small act of respect. Instead, his oversight cost her a better grade and trust.

For OP, moving forward means setting clear boundaries. Experts suggest calm discussions to outline expectations, like agreeing on Wi-Fi usage during critical tasks. If tensions persist, couples counseling can help align priorities. OP should also reflect on whether her boyfriend’s dismissive attitude is a pattern. Open dialogue, rooted in mutual respect, can prevent future clashes and rebuild trust.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, buzzing with cheers for OP and eye-rolls at her boyfriend’s antics:

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[Reddit User] − Nta. He was being selfish and focusing only on his needs.

gigglymonstr − NTA. Drop the friend and the boyfriend. This is some bs, it really is common sense to let someone know you're going to do something that will affect their TEST. I'm sorry OP, what a s**tty thing to do.

Ill-call_you_out − NTA- I saw some of your replies about what your friend said. 1. A game is NOT a priority. He could have simply asked you if the internet was working for you so that he would know to wait. 

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2. He should have been smart enough to know that disconnected the internet would have disturbed you more than him asking a simple question. He sounds so selfish that I don't even think he did care enough if it was going to bother your test or not. And if your friend values your bf's games over your test, are they really your friend?

nippitybibble − No, you didn't overreact. He sabotaged your grade - maybe not on purpose, but he knew you were taking a test so he should have asked if it was okay to reset the router.. He was TA, you're NTA.

Cambridge_Comma − Turning off/restarting the WiFi is, in and of itself, disturbing you. WTF is this nonsense.. NTA

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BazTheBaptist − NTA yeah he didn't know he was going to break the cable and it'd be off for 45 minutes but he still should've come spoke to you first If he was 'only doing what he was told' he wouldn't have turned off the internet while you were doing a test. That disturbs you too. It's a b**lshit excuse

MrSlammo − Well, if it wasn't loading for him, then its quite possible that the wifi stopped working in general, it may have just not kicked you off yet. something to think about

TheLittlestGremlin28 − NTA. BF sucks, get a new one that doesn't try to sabotage your school work over a stupid video game.

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Chadodius − ESH Honestly if its true and his game stopped loading then your wifi was probably already out and you didnt notice because the page was loaded, so resetting the modem and wifi didn't cause your issue.

MarMarNi − I kind of feel like there are NAH. The internet in my home dies often enough. Then we plug and unplug the router and it should come back on immediately. No member of my family consults anyone else when they do this, because if one router is acting up it usually affects everyone.

My dad often needs internet for work, my teenage brother is always gaming or watching YouTube and my mom frequently has Zoom meetings these days. When the internet acts up, someone tries to fix it. If anyone gets pissed off, it’s because of the internet, not the person trying to get it back up again.

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I understand that you got angry with him, but the way I see it, he was just trying to get the internet back up, but accidentally broke the router. Yes, this definitely wasn’t a convenient time, but accidents happen. Props to you for still getting a C on that test, I would have been way too stressed to start on 55 questions in 10 minutes.

These Redditors rallied behind OP, slamming her boyfriend’s “common sense” lapse and questioning her friend’s loyalty. Some saw his router reset as selfish; others wondered if the Wi-Fi was already glitchy. Either way, the consensus leans hard into OP’s corner, with a few suggesting she rethink her circle. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the drama?

This Wi-Fi fiasco highlights how quickly miscommunication can turn a quiet study session into a relationship battlefield. OP’s anger feels valid—her boyfriend’s choice to prioritize his game over her test stung, especially with no heads-up. Yet, his perspective, however shaky, suggests a misunderstanding rather than malice. Relationships need trust and clear communication to avoid these digital disasters. What would you do if your partner pulled the plug on your priorities? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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