AITA for refusing to pay for a shared holiday with family that I am no longer attending?
Imagine a cozy countryside escape—saunas, fireplaces, and family cheer—booked last December for our growing clan. I’m part of it, splitting the steep cost with 20 adults, down payment made early this year. Then, May hits: my husband, kids, and I are moving overseas in September. I tell the family—no holiday for us.
My cousin bails too, her parents covering her share. Now, my sister’s on me to pay mine—$15 extra per person if I don’t. I’m strapped post-move, they’ve got room to spare. AITAH for saying no?
‘AITA for refusing to pay for a shared holiday with family that I am no longer attending?’
This is a sticky split—family tradition meets life’s curveballs. I signed on, paid the deposit, then bowed out with six months’ notice. Dr. Harriet Lerner, a relationship pro, says, “Fairness bends with context—commitments aren’t ironclad when plans shift” (from The Dance of Connection). My move’s a game-changer; $15 per head’s a pittance for them, a pinch for me now. Sister’s “unfair” cry stings—cousin’s folks stepped up, why not mine?
The rub? Shared bookings lock in costs—50% of group trips face last-minute drops (Travel Association, 2023). I’m not using the space, but I pledged it. Could’ve pushed cancellation in May—downsized the vibe—but didn’t. Still, six months’ heads-up feels fair. Next? Pay it if I must, but negotiate—family’s not broke. Readers, am I the jerk for dodging, or them for demanding?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Reddit’s split: some say YTA—I committed, I pay; it’s $300 total, not chump change. They argue I’m stiffing the crew—plans hinged on me. Others swing NTA—six months’ notice, life happens, $15’s no burden. They question: why no rebook? Consensus leans YTA if I keep the deposit and ditch; NTA if I forfeit it. Fairness teeters.
So, AITAH? I bailed on a holiday I helped lock in, now sister’s billing me from afar. Maybe I should pony up—$300’s a promise kept—but post-move broke says no. They’ve got space, I’ve got stress. Should’ve pushed a rebook? Sure. If your family stuck you with a shared tab you can’t use, would you pay or push back? Weigh in—let’s untangle this festive feud!
