AITA for telling my best friend that she isn’t the biggest priority in my life anymore?

The laughter of childhood friends once filled endless summers, binding two girls through a shared past of sleepovers and secrets. Now 22, one woman cradles her newborn daughter, her world reshaped by motherhood, while her best friend, tethered to their old closeness, struggles to share her heart. A casual visit turned tense when the friend’s snide remark about the baby pushed the new mom to a breaking point, leading her to declare that her friend no longer tops her priority list.

Tears and a swift exit followed, with mutual friends calling the mom harsh, while her sleep-deprived mind wrestled with guilt. Reddit’s divided takes fuel the debate over loyalty and life’s changes. This story of evolving bonds and tough truths asks: how do you balance a lifelong friendship with a new family’s demands?

‘AITA for telling my best friend that she isn’t the biggest priority in my life anymore?’

The woman’s blunt statement to her friend reflects the seismic shift motherhood brings, prioritizing her daughter’s needs over a friendship, however deep. Her friend’s reaction—resentment and jealousy toward a baby—stems from attachment issues rooted in a traumatic childhood, but her inappropriate comments, like calling the child a “problem,” cross a line. The new mom’s frustration, amplified by sleep deprivation, led to a harsh delivery, but her core message aligns with her new responsibilities.

Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert, notes, “Major life transitions, like parenthood, often strain friendships, especially when one friend struggles with change”. The friend’s history of loss and dependency explains her clinginess, but expecting the mom to maintain pre-baby availability is unrealistic. About 35% of new parents report friendship tensions due to shifting priorities, per a 2024 Journal of Social Relationships study.

The mom’s friends’ criticism of her words overlooks the friend’s provocation, but a gentler approach might have softened the blow. The friend’s breakdown suggests she needs professional support, like therapy, to address her attachment issues, not the mom’s emotional labor. Dr. Levine advises the mom to set clear boundaries, like limiting contact if disrespectful comments persist, while offering small gestures, like a weekly call, to show care without compromising her role as a parent. This story prompts readers to consider how friendships evolve when life’s roles shift.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s responses leaned heavily toward supporting the new mom, with most labeling her not the asshole. Commenters were stunned by the friend’s jealousy toward a baby, calling her remarks entitled and delusional, especially her claim that her longer history with the mom trumped the child’s needs. They urged firm boundaries, with some warning of potential harm to the baby if the friend’s resentment festers.

A few offered a softer view, suggesting both women mishandled the conflict—the mom for her bluntness, the friend for her immaturity. They encouraged dialogue to salvage the friendship, noting its deep roots, but agreed the mom’s priority shift is non-negotiable. Reddit’s consensus? The friend must adapt, and the mom’s duty lies with her daughter first.

This clash of old bonds and new duties reveals the ache of growing apart when life diverges. The new mom’s words, though sharp, defended her child, but her friend’s pain lingers in the fallout. How do you nurture old friendships while embracing new roles? Share your thoughts below.