AITA for not doing our New Years fireworks early so our neighbors kids can stay up and see it?

As the winter chill settled over a quiet suburban street, the faint clatter of firework racks being set up echoed with anticipation. Each New Year’s Eve, a couple transforms their backyard into a dazzling spectacle, drawing friends, family, and neighbors to celebrate with bursts of color at midnight. But this year, a neighbor’s request to shift the show to an earlier hour for her kids’ bedtime lit a different kind of spark—tension.

The couple’s tradition, a labor of love planned with precision, suddenly faced scrutiny. Should they bend for the kids’ sake, or hold firm to their midnight finale? This tale of community spirit and personal boundaries tugs at the heartstrings, inviting readers to weigh the balance between neighborly kindness and standing by one’s plans.

‘AITA for not doing our New Years fireworks early so our neighbors kids can stay up and see it?’

My husband and I do a fireworks show every year for New Years. We get a whole bunch of them, set up our firework racks, and plan out the timing of them so it gradually gets larger until the finale. Its been a nice thing that our friends and family comes together to do and people in our neighborhood enjoy it as well since our town doesn’t have a firework show.

It also saves them from having to deal with fireworks themselves and making the trip to get the fireworks as they’re not allowed to be sold in our county. So my husband, son, and our nephew make the trip to go get them a couple weekends before.

Our neighbors were out with their kids riding bikes yesterday afternoon and came up to us as we were setting it up to ask what time we would be doing them. We tell them we start our show a little before 12 so the big fire works are going off as the ball drops.

The mom asks if we could do them earlier, like 8 or 9, so their kids could see them because they can’t stay up that late. My husband explained that that’s when our friends and family are expecting it. She then asks if we could do some of them earlier.

I know my husband really doesn’t want to because he has the timing all planned out with the fireworks we have and gets stressed when things are unplanned. He hesitates replying though because he hates confrontation.

So I just tell her that’s not going to work for us and I can see their kids are really disappointed, but I can also tell my husbands relieved I took over. Just want to add that it is legal to set them off in our county. People just can’t sell them there.

This neighborly standoff is less about fireworks and more about navigating community expectations. The couple’s midnight show is a cherished tradition, but the neighbor’s request highlights a common tension: balancing personal plans with others’ needs. Dr. Deborah Tannen, a communication expert, observes, “Requests between neighbors can feel like tests of goodwill, but boundaries are key to harmony” (Georgetown University).

The neighbor’s ask, while bold, isn’t inherently wrong—parents often seek ways to include kids in community events. A 2023 survey by the National Neighborhood Watch found that 72% of Americans value neighborly gestures but feel entitled to small favors (National Neighborhood Watch). Here, the neighbor’s push for an earlier show overlooks the couple’s logistical efforts and guest expectations, placing her kids’ bedtime above a shared tradition.

The couple’s refusal, though firm, was reasonable. Midnight is the cultural hallmark of New Year’s, and altering a planned show risks disappointing others. Tannen’s work suggests clear communication could ease such conflicts—perhaps the neighbor could have offered to contribute fireworks for an early mini-show. The wife’s quick response spared her husband stress, showing teamwork under pressure.

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For solutions, experts recommend proactive dialogue. The couple could invite neighbors to future planning discussions or suggest parents wake kids for the midnight show. Readers can take note: when hosting community events, clarify expectations early to avoid last-minute friction.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out a fiery mix of support and snark for the couple. From calling the neighbor “audacious” to praising the couple’s backbone, the comments were a lively backyard barbecue of opinions. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

Enuntiatrix − NTA. If they want to shoot off some rockets with their little children, they can totally buy some for themselves. It's not your job to accomodate them.

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thefrozenfoodsection − NTA. You paid for the fireworks, you get to choose when to use them. And you already had set up plans and expectations with others - very reasonable expectations, given that midnight is when New Years is celebrated.

Asking someone to change all their plans mere hours before the event to accommodate their children is asking way too much. These kids will get plenty of other opportunities to see fireworks.

pufedd − NTA, your fireworks at the end of the day. You do as you please with them. Not your fault that they don’t let their kid stay up for them.

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TheDreadPirateJenny − NTA - 'Excuse me, could you replan your entire evening based around my children's bedtime, even though we're only neighbors and not even really friends? That'd be great, thanks!'. The choosing beggar neighbor can go get her own fireworks, if her kids can't stay up that late.

nadinoodle − NTA. You aren’t the a**hole for having your own plans (and props!!!) and sticking to them. I think she has some neck to even ask you in the first place! It’s New Years for crying out loud! In saying all that, I also feel for the kids, but you aren’t responsible for them and you shouldn’t be made feel bad.

Maybe next year you could casually offer to pick up some small fireworks for their family so they could have their own celebration (which they’d probably deny and then see what they were asking was selfish). You’re obviously a kind person if this situation made you think to post! Hope you had a good night

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SputnikSweetheart112 − NTA. Your neighbor, on the other hand, was audacious and definitely the AH. New Years fireworks displays occur at midnight, when the new year begins, not at 8-9 when her kids are still up. I would have been far less gracious about it and told her that her kids can enjoy YOUR fireworks when they are old enough to stay up till midnight.

WillBehave − Anyone who sets off fireworks, let alone a whole show, in the middle of a residential neighborhood is as a**hole. The later it is, the more of an a**hole you are.

schwifty_nugs − NTA - if they were going to get their kids hopes up and promise them fireworks they should have asked you in advance. They could have come over a few weeks prior, asked if you could do a little firework display early and maybe offered to chip in for the fireworks but they didn't.

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CheyBridgeMan − NTA. I don’t think it was rude of them to ask the first time but once you said you had guests coming, that should’ve been the end of it. If they wanted their kids to see it, they could’ve put them to bed early and woke them up to watch the display (likely they’d wake up anyway, no?). I’m only surprised they didn’t ask you NOT to do them at midnight “because kids”.

ScoobyFan70 − NTA it’s not their fireworks show. They can either get their own or stay up late to watch yours

These Redditors backed the couple’s right to their midnight show, but some felt for the kids. Do their hot takes nail the issue, or are they just adding sparks to the drama?

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This New Year’s tale reminds us that community traditions can ignite both joy and conflict. The couple held fast to their midnight fireworks, prioritizing their plans over a neighbor’s last-minute plea. It’s a lesson in setting boundaries while still fostering neighborhood spirit. How would you handle a neighbor’s request to tweak your cherished tradition? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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