WIBTA if I told my boss I dont want to help the handicapped girl who comes to our bar go to the bathroom anymore?
“I didn’t sign up to be a personal aide,” OP thought, rounding the corner toward the bar bathroom. Kelly—an ALS patient—needed help transferring from wheelchair to toilet, undressing, wiping, and redressing. For fellow staff, it’s a moment of kindness; for OP, it’s a gut-wrenching breach of comfort and training. Here, a simple restroom break collides with professional boundaries, physical risk, and potential legal fallout.
At stake isn’t just OP’s unease but the bar’s liability. No hoists or protective gear—only the goodwill of untrained servers. OP’s boss saw only empathy; OP saw weight limits, wet floors, and the dread of dropping a life into chaos. Now OP must decide: bear the burden or speak up—and risk alienating coworkers and patrons alike.
‘WIBTA if I told my boss I dont want to help the handicapped girl who comes to our bar go to the bathroom anymore?’
“Assisting someone with toileting is a skilled caregiving task, not a bar-service duty,” explains Marie Boland, RN and author of Adult Caregiving Essentials. Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), businesses must provide reasonable accommodations—such as accessible bathrooms or trained staff—but are not required to have untrained employees perform intimate care .
Physically, lifting a non-ambulatory adult without equipment risks musculoskeletal injury. According to the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), improper manual lifting accounts for up to 36% of workplace back injuries in healthcare and hospitality . A bar employee with no training or lifting aids heightens that hazard.
Legally, if OP or a coworker were to drop Kelly or slip in a puddle, the establishment could face negligence claims. Occupational lawyers recommend that any business serving disabled patrons implement a Written Accommodation Policy, detailing how to summon trained assistance and maintain dignity while ensuring safety .
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Here are some candid takes from Reddit’s thread:
![[Reddit User] - NTA, you shouldn’t be lifting another person without the proper training and equipment, it’s dangerous for both you and the disabled person. As others have said, I wouldn’t be surprised if it puts you and/or the bar in a vulnerable position legally if anything were to happen.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/321246c-05.png)
But do these quick judgments capture every nuance?
Kindness shouldn’t mean risking your body, your job, or your employer’s liability. When has a workplace request overstepped your role? Would you speak up, or silently comply? Share your experiences and strategies below—your voice could help craft fair policies that protect both employees and patrons.
