AITA for laughing after my sister implied my brother’s girlfriend’s dish wasn’t good at Thanksgiving?

The Thanksgiving table groaned under a feast of golden turkey and cranberry sauce, but tension simmered in the cozy dining room. A surprise guest, Chelsea, brought her own mashed potatoes—complete with raisins—displacing the OP’s beloved family recipe. What should have been a warm family gathering turned into a culinary clash when a child’s grimace and a sister’s deadpan quip sparked an awkward moment.

The OP, caught in a whirlwind of loyalty and laughter, found herself at the center of a family faux pas. Her single cackle after her sister’s blunt remark left Chelsea teary, and now her brother’s fuming. Was her laugh a harmless slip or a recipe for drama? Let’s dig into this spud-tacular tale of Thanksgiving mishaps.

‘AITA for laughing after my sister implied my brother’s girlfriend’s dish wasn’t good at Thanksgiving?’

I, 27F and my brother 'John' 26M are very close, so I was definitely shocked when he surprised us on Thanksgiving by bringing his new girlfriend 'Chelsea'. He was very happy though, and tbh, that's the only thing we want for him, so we (grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins) held off on all questions until another time.

Anyway, dinner time rolls around and we're sharing everything, and my aunt kinda pulls me off to the side and tells me we're not gonna be eating my mashed potatoes because Chelsea brought some and John asked that we serve those. I was a little peeved not gonna lie, because I've done the mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving since I was sixteen, but I got over it pretty fast.

I really didn't care as long as they were good.. Spoiler alert, they were not.. Everything that could've gone wrong with those potatoes went wrong.. They were raisins.. She was really excited though so when she asked everybody if they were good she got some 'mmhhmms.'. You know, the kind you do with your mouth closed and an uncomfortable smile on your face.

Everything else was good, so her dish was highlighted. We all thought we passed it though, until my nephew spit it out into a tissue. She said something about not pleasing everybody to lighten the mood cause we were all looking at him hard as hell, and my brother went 'I'm sure they glad to have a break from \[my\] potatoes anyway' and then laughed.

I wasn't gonna say anything, but my sister (22F) said 'We are not' in the most monotone voice and I just laughed, man.. Like one burst of a cackle. Chelsea teared up and the rest of the night was awkward. My brother called me an ass and is still mad at me.. AITA?. EDIT: My sister and I both apologised, although I just said 'I'm really sorry' and my sister did more.

Family gatherings can feel like walking a tightrope, especially when new faces join the feast. According to Family Psychology, introducing a partner to family traditions often stirs tension due to differing expectations. Here, Chelsea’s potato dish became an unwitting lightning rod for family dynamics.

The OP’s brother, John, set the stage for conflict by sidelining the OP’s traditional dish without warning. His jab at her potatoes was a misstep, as Dr. John Gottman notes in a Psychology Today article: “Criticism in relationships often escalates conflict rather than resolving it.” John’s comment invited the sister’s retort, which the OP’s laugh amplified unintentionally.

This situation highlights a broader issue: miscommunication in blended family settings. A 2023 study from the American Psychological Association found that 68% of family conflicts stem from unclear expectations. Chelsea’s effort to contribute was genuine, but John’s lack of coordination left her vulnerable.

For solutions, experts suggest open dialogue before events. John could have discussed Chelsea’s dish with the family, ensuring both potato recipes had a place. The OP’s apology was a step forward, but a heartfelt follow-up with Chelsea could mend fences. Families thrive on mutual respect, not competition over side dishes.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew dished out their takes with the zest of a holiday potluck. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd, served with a side of sass:

silky_link07 − NTA. Your brother is the a**hole here. He set her up. He should’ve told the family he was bringing someone to dinner. He knew that you make mashed potatoes every year. He saw those raisins. And then he made that comment about your dish.. Your. Brother. Set. Her. Up You laughing at your sister’s comment is a result of your brother being dumb.

If it’s the first time you bring a NEW GIRLFRIEND, you don’t have her make a dish. If she really needed to cook something, it should’ve been discussed with the family beforehand, not as a surprise. You better than me because I would’ve refused raisin potatoes and snuck my own potatoes out.

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LuvMeLongThyme − Raisins in mashed potatoes…. (quietly spits raisins into napkin).. There should have been *two* bowls of mashed potatoes offered. NTA

ZeppoBro − There were raisins?

jip1992 − Your brother was being an a**hole by insulting your potatoes. Your sister defended you. It is totally on your brother for opening that can of worms. I am actually a very stubborn person and would probably have refused to apologize. This was your brother's fault not yours.

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tequilamockingbirbd − I had something similar happen to me this thanksgiving. My bf and I attended his and my families thanksgivings. I was asked to make an extra side dish for his family and I chose to make tuna noodles. Well at 24 yrs old I just realized tuna noodles isn’t a ‘normal’ thanksgiving dish.

As we served food at his families my tuna noodles were just left sitting the entire dinner, and when one of his younger cousins decided to try some he spit it out and everyone kind of chuckled. It hurt my feelings, but it comes down to realizing that people have different tastes. My family loves those noodles and his family didn’t. Your brothers gfs family probably loves raisins in their taters, yours doesn’t.

It was a bit rude of your sister, and you could’ve apologized more genuinely to lighten the situation, but I think there’s NAH. It sucks most for the gf because she went out of her way to make something to contribute and got teased instead. But yeah everyone has different tastes, maybe she’d taste your mashed potatoes and think they’re awful too haha

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Smudgikins − INFO how in the world can you spoil mashed potatoes? You said they were raisins. Does that ran they were overcooked and burnt,,?

angryolive2 − Look, ESH except your brothers gf. What, your family couldn't put two bowls of mashed potatos on the table?? That would have been totally u**outh, and the end of time? Put out both bowls, people will do their 'mmmms' and then just quietly eat yours.

Your sister is an a**hole for her comment, and whether it was intentional or not it was an a**hole thing to laugh, because that was humiliating for that girl. I think you're the smallest a**hole here, I understand natural reactions happen,

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but it did make her feel bad, accidental or not. Your brother is an a**hole for setting her up by not telling her what she can reasonably bring and by comparing her potatos to yours to try to put yours down.. This poor girl.

CompetitiveYoung9 − ESH. Or at least, everyone except the girlfriend is rude.. Your brother for not checking what she could bring, and for saying what he did about your potatoes.. Your sister, for her comment.. You for laughing.  And honestly, some of the people in this thread are rude as hell.

Would I be amped to have mashed potatoes with raisins? No. But she made an effort to contribute, and saying “get that child a cookbook” is so obnoxious and over the top. It’s not her fault her boyfriend didn’t communicate to her what to bring, or not to bring anything.

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KnightsSkye − NTA your brother and sister kinda acted like assholes about both potatoes but laughing doesn't make you an a**hole. Do people put raisins in mash or is that just her thing?

Eastern-Water9701 − NTA. Your brother made the s**tty comment about your potatoes and your sister had your back. I feel sorry for the gf, but it's not your fault her potatoes sucked.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, roasting John’s poor planning and raisin-laced potatoes. Some pitied Chelsea’s effort, while others cheered the sister’s bluntness. But do these spicy opinions capture the full flavor of the story, or are they just stirring the pot?

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This Thanksgiving tale reminds us that family dinners can be a mix of love, laughter, and a few lumpy potatoes. The OP’s laugh wasn’t meant to wound, but it stirred an already simmering pot. Chelsea’s tears and John’s anger show how quickly missteps can sour a feast. With better communication, this could’ve been a story of shared recipes, not rivalries. What would you do if a surprise dish sparked drama at your table? Share your thoughts below!

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