AITA for going out to buy a charger?

The hum of a dying phone battery can spark panic in the best of us, but for one woman, it ignited a full-blown marital spat. Picture this: a cozy Friday evening, her phone at a measly 10%, and the nearest charger stranded 40 minutes away at work. With a mall just three minutes down the road, grabbing a new charger seemed like a no-brainer. But her husband, nursing a headache, saw it as a betrayal of epic proportions.

This tale of tech woes and tangled emotions unfolds with a simple errand that spiraled into accusations of selfishness. The woman’s quick decision to keep her lifeline powered clashed with her husband’s expectation of undivided attention, raising questions about autonomy and empathy in relationships. As Reddit users chimed in, the story revealed deeper cracks in communication that many couples might recognize.

‘AITA for going out to buy a charger?’

This weird situation happened today and I’m honestly confused because I didn’t think I would be the a**hole but my husband is very angry. I forgot my charger at work, and realized it after getting home with only 10%. My work is a 40 min drive from home so I just intended on getting it back Monday.

Anyway, I still needed something to charge my phone during the weekend. I use my cellphone a lot, for watching YouTube / playing games / Reddit / talking to family and work related stuff. I was okay with waiting until tomorrow to buy a charger, the mall would open at 10 AM, no big deal. Then I remembered the mall would still be open until 10PM today so I decided to get a new charger today.

My husband said it was something absolutely insane to do. Why couldn’t I wait until tomorrow? I explained that I didn’t want to be without my phone if there was a simple solution today. This mall is a 3 min drive from home. The problem is that he said he wasn’t feeling well with a headache and I should be worried with him and not about buying a charger. It’s not unusual for both of us to experience headaches by the way.

I didn’t ask him to come with me , but I did needed him to move the car because my car is blocked by his because of the way our parking works. And he doesn’t let me drive his car. Not even for moving mine. He said he wouldn’t have anything to do with my addiction and to deal with it myself.

So I called an Uber, bought my charger and went back home. I didn’t tell him I would leave because after he told me to deal with it myself he locked himself in the shower. He is mad, not talking to me after he said I was selfish and ruined our weekend. So please Reddit help me understand AITA here??

Edit : hey guys thanks a lot for your responses! I already sent him a long text explaining everything calmly and asking, again, for couple’s therapy. I didn’t talk because he is a terrible listener when he’s angry. I hope he understands the text I sent..

He is a great husband , he is hardworking, caring, we both have the same goals in life overall, and most of the time our relationship is very good. The problem arises when we have this kind of disagreement and he definitely acts controlling.

About the one charger: I know it sounds crazy! He is a Samsung user , so his wouldn’t work for me. I had spares at my moms house but after getting married and moving I never thought about it again, because I don’t move my charger too much, I only take it to work once or twice a week… but you are all right and I think I’ll buy a few more today.

Navigating a partner’s errands shouldn’t feel like a battlefield, but this story highlights how small choices can expose big tensions. The woman’s need for a functional phone clashed with her husband’s demand for care during a headache, revealing a struggle over control and empathy. His refusal to move his car, locking himself away, and silent treatment suggest a deeper issue: poor communication under stress.

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Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Couples who turn toward each other’s bids for connection, even in small moments, build stronger bonds” (The Gottman Institute). Here, the husband’s dismissal of her practical need as an “addiction” ignored her bid for understanding, escalating the conflict. His controlling stance—blocking her car and refusing access—hints at a power imbalance, which can erode trust over time. Studies show that 69% of marital conflicts stem from perpetual issues like communication breakdowns (American Psychological Association).

This situation reflects a broader issue: balancing individual needs with partnership. The woman’s Uber solution was resourceful, but the couple’s inability to discuss the issue calmly points to a need for better tools. Gottman’s advice to “accept influence” from a partner could help—had the husband acknowledged her need, they might have avoided the fallout. Couples therapy, as she suggested, could equip them with strategies to navigate disagreements without ultimatums. For now, her text apology shows a willingness to bridge the gap, but mutual effort is key to prevent future charger-level chaos.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for our charger-chasing heroine. From calling out her husband’s “childish” antics to waving red flags over his controlling vibes, the comments were a virtual popcorn fest. Here’s the unfiltered pulse from the crowd:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Are you married to a man or a little boy? He sounds childish, manipulative and selfish. I hope he has other redeeming qualities because what you are saying doesn't make him sound good at all.

SnooWords4839 − NTA - Hubby is being overdramatic and controlling. Nice move getting the Uber!!. BTW now leave 1 charger at work and 1 at home.

tessalana − NTA. These days, cell phones are essential. What did it take you, 30 minutes? Shoot—my husband would have still been in the shower by the time I was back from the mall.

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AuntieEls − NTA but I'm somewhat concerned about your husband. 6 minutes travel time, round trip, plus I'm assuming 10-15 tops to pick up the charger... Hardly going to 'ruin the weekend' especially since he wasn't planning to go out or do much that you delayed.

I have a similar parking situation, in that one of us always blocks the other and cars need to be moved if we forgot to park in the right order -- and whoever needs to move whoever's car, we just do that.. Your husband sounds unreasonably controlling.

KathyPlusTwins − NTA- your husband is a controlling ass though.

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PresentationLimp890 − NTA. What grown adult expects someone to stay home with them because they have a headache? I prefer no people when I have one. He sounds difficult.

Sharkmato − NTA. But your husband is a major AH - for several reasons just in this post. 1. Why does he even need to comment on your errands? Why should you wait? How on earth is it an insane thing to do? 2. You need to be able to move his car if it's in your way.

When you say he 'doesn't let you' drive - do you not have access to the keys? You should have access, and he should shut up about you driving it. If he can block your car in, he's essentially confining you to your home, which is beyond creepy.. 3. Oooh - a headache. Seriously?. 4. Wanting a functioning phone is not an 'addiction.'

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5. He locked himself in the shower and now he's giving you the silent treatment. He says running an errand is selfish. He'd be an AH if your errand was to buy your favorite porn. His behavior is unacceptable. If this is unusual, he may need help. If it isn't, you may want to re-evaluate your relationship.

fuzzyluvr505 − Also, am I the only one who sees a giant red flag from the fact that he won't even let her move his car?

foxie_uncle − NTA, he’s super controlling and this is not normal behavior.

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apprehensive_cat284 − NTA. This is.. really odd? I can’t imagine getting this worked up over you buying a charger? Of course you’d want to go get a new charger. Why wait if you can just sort it now? There’s not much you can do to help somebody with a headache either,

if a headache is that bad you can’t go about your daily business generally having somebody with you, talking, asking if you’re okay all the time, etc.., is just going to make it worse anyway. It isn’t like you left him bed bound, he had a headache and you went to the shops 3 minutes from your place.

These Redditors rallied behind her practical move but raised eyebrows at her husband’s over-the-top reaction. Some saw his behavior as a dealbreaker; others urged her to stock up on chargers and boundaries. But do these fiery takes capture the full story, or are they just fueling the drama?

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This charger saga shows how a mundane errand can unplug deeper relationship issues, from control to communication. The woman’s quick fix kept her connected, but her husband’s reaction left their bond on low battery. Stocking up on chargers might solve one problem, but rebuilding trust will take more than a trip to the mall. What would you do if a simple errand sparked a weekend-long standoff? Share your thoughts below!

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