AITA for cutting off my friend because of the wedding gift she got me?

Friendships are built on shared memories, mutual support, and thoughtful gestures at life’s key moments. But when a friend skips your wedding—after agreeing to stand by your side—and then sends a gift that ignores your needs and tastes, it can feel like the final straw in a series of disappointments. What started as middle-school camaraderie has become a string of unmet promises, leaving the bride questioning whether their bond still holds meaning.

As the thank-you cards went out, one package stood out: an egg rack for a pressure cooker she neither owns nor uses. It wasn’t simply the gift itself, but what it represented—an impersonal afterthought and a stark reminder that, for T, the friendship no longer ranks high among her priorities.

‘AITA for cutting off my friend because of the wedding gift she got me?’

Etiquette experts agree that a wedding gift’s value lies in its thoughtfulness more than its price tag. Alison Cheperdak of Elevate Etiquette points out, “Secondhand or budget-friendly gifts can be meaningful, provided they suit the recipient’s tastes and show that you understand their lifestyle”. In this case, an egg rack for a non–pressure-cooker household signals a disconnect between intention and consideration, leaving the recipient to wonder if the gift was chosen at all.

Lizzie Post of the Emily Post Institute emphasizes that “gifts should reflect the couple’s personality and needs, and any contribution—no matter how small—must demonstrate genuine care”. By missing this mark, T’s present unintentionally communicated apathy rather than affection, deepening the sense of being undervalued on a milestone day.

Financial norms around wedding gifts also offer guidance: Vogue reports that close friends and family typically spend between $100 and $150 on a gift, aligning the gesture with the depth of the relationship. While budgets vary, this benchmark underscores the idea that wedding presents serve as tangible acknowledgments of emotional investment—and in this friendship’s case, a minimalist or mismatched purchase can feel like a withdrawal of support.

For couples and their guests, experts recommend clear communication such as sharing a registry or suggesting group-gift options—and personal notes to accompany any present. As Brides magazine notes, “A heartfelt card and a modest monetary gift can sometimes outshine bulky household items, demonstrating that you honored the occasion without guesswork”. These best practices could have spared both the giver’s embarrassment and the recipient’s hurt.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit users uniformly saw the egg rack as the tipping point, but framed it within broader frustrations: T’s decision to bow out of the bridal party, skip the ceremony, and then send a thoughtless gift painted a picture of a friendship that had drifted apart. Many commenters advised airing grievances honestly before severing ties, suggesting that T’s pattern of behavior warranted a frank conversation.

Others recommended a phased approach: send a simple thank-you for the gift, then reduce emotional investment—waiting to see if T reaches out to rebuild the connection. The consensus was that while a single bad gift doesn’t doom a friendship, repeated signs of disregard justify stepping back to protect one’s own well-being.

Friendship milestone gifts should celebrate shared history and acknowledge new chapters. When those gestures fall flat, it can signal deeper disconnects that words alone may not bridge. How have you handled a thoughtful-but-misguided gift from a close friend? Have you ever used that moment to recalibrate—or even end—a relationship? Share your experiences and advice below!