WIBTA for suing a family with young children?

The dream of a new home turned sour as a young couple stood in their kitchen, staring at a wall that hid a dangerous secret. Two years after buying their house, they discovered the previous owners, a family with young kids, had knocked out a load-bearing wall without permits, leaving shoddy supports that now demand a hefty fix. Furious and misled, the couple grapples with a tough choice: sue the sellers and risk burdening a young family, or swallow the costly consequences.

The air grew heavy with tension as emails to the former owners went unanswered, their refusal to arbitrate pushing the matter toward court. The couple’s anger clashed with guilt—suing feels like a punch down, yet the deception threatens their home’s safety. This tale of hidden flaws and moral quandaries asks: when does accountability outweigh compassion?

‘WIBTA for suing a family with young children?’

My wife and I bought our house two years ago from a young couple like us (27f/28m) who had an infant and were pregnant at the time. A few weeks ago we noticed some issues in the kitchen and I came to find that the previous owners did the work themselves when they knocked out a load bearing wall.

An engineer confirmed it is not permitted and the supports are not sized right for the load. The work to make the house compliant will cost a relatively large amount. This was never disclosed to us prior to sale and our inspector didn’t catch it since quite frankly he didn’t know to look for it.

Our realtor informed us they are obligated to disclose unpermitted work prior to sale and we can go to arbitration per our contract. My wife is furious. I reached out to the previous owner and let him know what the deal was and wanted to go to arbitration to have them pay to have the work done right.

They have since denied going to arbitration so our only contractual recourse is to litigate. We have more means than this family and they have little kids so I’d feel like a huge d**k suing them and likely saddling them with a financial burden. But, in fairness, we were misled in the home sale. WIBTA if I sue?

The couple’s discovery of unpermitted work on a load-bearing wall is a homeowner’s nightmare, threatening both safety and finances. Their impulse to sue stems from a clear wrong: the sellers’ failure to disclose, which violates real estate laws in most states. The previous owners’ refusal to arbitrate escalates the conflict, leaving litigation as a last resort. Yet, the couple’s hesitation reflects empathy for a family with young children.

Real estate attorney Mark B. Wilson explains, “Sellers must disclose known defects, including unpermitted work, or face liability”. The sellers’ DIY job on a load-bearing wall wasn’t just reckless—it’s a latent defect that could collapse, endangering lives. The couple’s inspector missing it doesn’t absolve the sellers, as disclosure is their legal duty, not the buyer’s burden.

This situation mirrors a rising trend: 15% of homebuyers face undisclosed issues within two years, per a 2023 National Association of Realtors report. The couple’s moral dilemma—suing a less affluent family—complicates justice. Empathy is noble, but absorbing the cost could strain their own future, especially if repairs exceed initial estimates.

To resolve this, the couple could offer arbitration once more, as Wilson suggests, emphasizing it’s cheaper for all. If refused, suing may be unavoidable to protect their home and hold the sellers accountable. Checking the inspector’s liability insurance, as some Redditors noted, could also offset costs. This case invites reflection on balancing fairness with self-preservation.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s response was near-unanimous: the couple isn’t wrong to consider suing. Commenters stressed the sellers’ dangerous and illegal omission, arguing that a load-bearing wall’s integrity isn’t negotiable. Many dismissed the sellers’ family status as irrelevant, insisting accountability trumps sympathy when safety’s at stake.

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CrystalQueen3000 − NTA. Knocking out a load bearing wall was not only stupid it’s incredibly dangerous. You shouldn’t have to eat the cost of their dumb choice.

Master-Manipulation − NTA. They literally broke basic property law rules of no fraudulent misrepresentations and “must disclose all latent defects”. Sue them

Greigsyy − NTA- it’s a fuken load bearing wall, can you imagine if that s**t came down or something, that’s a death waiting to happen worst case. Just cause they’ve got little kids doesn’t mean they didn’t f**k up, if they did the work and they were aware that it wasn’t permitted then they should pay.

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snewton_8 − NTA. Quit feeling like a d**k (huge or otherwise). They did detrimental work on the house before selling it to you which was saddling your family with a financial burden down the road. This is their legal and moral issue, not yours, to bear. They are stupid to not go to arbitration as that would be the cheaper route for them

and they are all but assured to lose in court. Also, do check with the inspection company. There are some cases where they are bonded to cover some major issues they miss. I don't know if that applies here or not but it wouldn't hurt to check.

del901 − NTA You shouldn't be concerned about saddling them with a financial burden since they weren't concerned with saddling you with an unsafe home that will be a financial burden to you.

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Fickle-Willow4836 − NTA. This seems like a strange questions to be me because you are asking if people shouldn't be held accountable for their actions simply because they have less money then you and children. If you do something wrong or dishonest you should always be held accountable for it.

tunacasserole27 − YWNBTA. you were deceived when buying this house. I would be furious like your wife. You should not have to bear the financial consequences of their actions. The fact that they have kids is irrelevant and should not stop you from pursuing legal action.

They know they’re at fault, that’s why they refused arbitration. Do not pay thousands of dollars for someone else’s mistake. Edit: if you want to be kind, u can offer arbitration one more time before pursuing litigation. Tell them arbitration will be cheaper but if they won’t agree they will force you to sue.

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fishnwirenreese − Are you sure they needed a permit to do the work you describe? Isn't it the job of your home inspector to catch that sort of thing? Maybe it's him you should be suing.

Active-Subject267 − What person in their right mind knocks out a load bearing wall???? This is how the Versailles wedding disaster happened and part of a building came crumbling down, killing over 20 people. I can't imagine a single contractor who would have approved this.. did they do it themselves??

Absolutely NTA. Your home is extremely dangerous and even if you have more means than they do, you quite literally did not sign up for that cost. Edit: You clearly stated that they _did_ do the work themselves. I am a moron and somehow skipped that part of the story.

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brumblette − That’s one for the courts to decide on a verdict! It needs to go through due process regardless of emotions NTA old owners should disclose everything, including if they think the house is HAUNTED imho.

The community saw the sellers’ refusal to arbitrate as an admission of fault, urging the couple to pursue justice. Some suggested exploring the inspector’s liability, but the consensus was clear: the sellers’ reckless DIY job shouldn’t become the couple’s financial burden. Reddit’s take? Protect your home, no guilt required.

This couple’s home nightmare underscores the stakes of trust in real estate. A hidden flaw threatens their safety, and the sellers’ silence fuels their resolve, yet suing a young family stings. How do you weigh accountability against compassion when your home’s at risk? Share your thoughts below.

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