AITA for storming off from my sister’s wedding after she deadnamed my son?

Picture a wedding buzzing with perfection—crisp shirts, flowing sundresses—until my sister (38F) trips over my son’s truth. I’m 45M, solo dad to three boys: Andrew (17), Connor (15, trans), and Max (14). Connor’s been out five years, socially transitioned for two. My sister’s “indifferent” to it, but her wedding? A battleground.

She demanded “Nia’s” dress, balked at his tie, and slapped his deadname on a card. I warned her: respect him or we’re gone. She sneered, “Not at MY wedding.” I called her a bigot, we bolted—family says I wrecked it. AITA?

‘AITA for storming off from my sister’s wedding after she deadnamed my son?’

This wasn’t about her big day—it’s about my son’s dignity. Connor’s trans journey’s no secret; my sister’s “Nia” jab was a deliberate shove. Dr. Diane Ehrensaft, a gender expert, says, “Deadnaming wounds—it denies who they are” (from The Gender Creative Child). I gave her a heads-up—shirt and tie or bust—she agreed, then flipped. That card wasn’t a slip; it was defiance. Her “any other day” line? Pure dismissal.

The fallout? Her control clashed with my duty—70% of trans teens face family rejection (Trevor Project, 2023), and I won’t let Connor join them. I could’ve stayed quiet, but silence betrays him. She escalated; I exited. Next? Low contact—she’s unbent, I’m unbowed. Readers, am I the ass for bailing, or her for bigoting?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s roaring: I’m not the asshole. They’re all in—praising my dad game, torching her transphobia. “Nia any other day” gets no pass; it’s a slap, not a stance. They say I’m a rock—some suggest petty revenge (hello, “Miss Smith”), others a clean cut. Consensus? I’m golden, she’s the scene-stealer—in the worst way.

 

So, AITA? I stormed out, tie intact, kids in tow—her wedding’s shadow doesn’t dim my son’s light. Maybe I could’ve whispered, not roared, but “Nia” on that card was a gauntlet. Grief’s no excuse—she chose disrespect. If your kin deadnamed your kid at their gala, would you sit pretty or split? Drop your take—let’s tie this up!

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One Comment

  1. This gave me goosebumps. I am so proud of you for being the parent Conner needs. He faces enough struggles from ignorant people who make his transition about them. Your support will go such a long way.
    NTA. Best dad award, yes. Let your son know he has plenty of supporters.