AITA for Refusing to Pay for a Two-Year-Old Lunch Mishap?

Jonathan Hours
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In a chaotic school staffroom, where the fridge teeters with forgotten lunches, Emma, a teacher, flings open the door, spilling a Greek salad and soup. Her heart sinks as she scrambles to find the owner, leaving apologetic notes with her contact info. No one claims the mess, and she moves on, thinking it’s forgotten.

Two years later, a colleague reveals an Educational Assistant (EA) has been badmouthing Emma over the incident, demanding cash without ever responding to her notes. This Reddit tale unravels a workplace grudge gone wild, sparking debate: how long should a fridge mishap haunt you?

‘AITA for Refusing to Pay for a Two-Year-Old Lunch Mishap?’

There was a day at work (teacher) where I opened the fridge too fast. As the door flew open, out came a Greek salad, and soup. The fridge WAS overpacked, as staff were leaving condiments and old lunchkits filling the fridge taking up room. (This is probably why the person didn't have their containers in a lunch bag). As people entered the staffroom, I asked around if the food had belonged them.

I did this for about 20 mins as people entered, and nobody claimed that it was theirs. Now, once the lunch break was over, I left two sticky notes in the fridge explaining what happened (I put them on the empty containers that the food was originally in, so the owner would see the note and know it was for them).

I included my name, and phone number, saying to please call me and I will buy them a lunch tomorrow or whenever they wanted it. I presumed that it may have been a support staff, as they didn't always take breaks at the same time as teachers. Fast forward a few weeks, and my contract is over. Nobody had contacted me regarding the food, and I presumed that the person/people were okay with the mistake and I left it at that.

I ended up moving on and forgetting about the whole ordeal. Fast forward to now (about two years later) a colleague reached out to me saying that her friend was the one who's lunch I dumped (both items happened to be hers). My colleague reached out to me because I guess a conversation happened between the two and my name came up.

The person who's lunch I dumped was a support staff (Educational Assistant in this case) that I never really interacted with previously as she worked with students who were not in my class. Anyways, turns out this woman has a huge grudge against me and has been telling other people to not have me ever work at the school again because of what I did.

I asked my colleague if she knew why she never contacted me, because it was very clear on the notes with my phone number. Apparently it was the wrong move to leave a note, and not to have left the EA money in the fridge. She said that the EA argued that 'it's an insult to make the victim do the work in tracking down the attacker'.

My colleague said that to fix things now (two years later) I should just give her a $20 bill to pass along to her coworker. I thought that this was RIDICULOUS, and said no. She should have contacted me, because she clearly recieved my note. I don't work at that school anymore, and it doesn't make sense to me to do this so far down the line.

I totally would have if the woman talked to me directly, but instead she chose to talk behind my back and made me out to be some monster. My colleague now thinks that I'm also an a**hole for not just paying her coworker and making peace. So here I am asking internet strangers. Am I the a**hole for not paying the EA for her food, two years later, when she still hasn't contacted me directly?

Accidents happen, but grudges can linger like stale coffee in a staffroom mug. Emma’s effort to make amends—asking around and leaving notes—was a solid attempt at accountability. Yet, the EA’s reaction, framing a spilled lunch as an “attack,” suggests deeper issues. Workplace conflict expert Amy Gallo, in a 2021 Harvard Business Review article, notes, “Unresolved minor conflicts can fester, turning small slights into major grudges if not addressed directly” (source). The EA’s silence amplified this.

This situation mirrors a broader workplace issue: poor communication. Emma’s notes were proactive, but the EA’s refusal to engage blocked resolution. A 2023 study by the Society for Human Resource Management found that 41% of workplace conflicts stem from miscommunication, often exacerbated by assumptions (source). The EA’s claim that contacting Emma was “work” reflects an entitlement that sidesteps mutual accountability.

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Gallo advises addressing conflicts head-on with empathy. Emma could consider a brief, neutral message via her colleague, like, “I’m sorry again for the lunch mishap; I’d have replaced it if you’d reached out.” For others, leaving cash in a shared fridge risks theft, making Emma’s note a smarter move.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit dished out a buffet of reactions, from incredulous to indignant, with a dash of humor. Here’s what the internet had to say:

the-mirrors-truth - NTA It was an accident, it happened two years ago. You tried to make it right. They're super petty and immature.

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Dszquphsbnt - 'it's an insult to make the victim do the work in tracking down the attacker'.. I don't think actually she knows what any of those words mean.. NTA

akoudagawaismywaifu - NTA. What the hell? You were willing to pay for them and was kind enough to leave a note and apologize, and not only did this person not bother to respond, but 2 YEARS LATER they're acting like a child and expecting you to pay them? This person needs to grow up. You don't owe her anything at this point.. EDIT: Thank you so much for all the likes!

IsThatMarcy - NTA Whoever that woman is, she's too juvenile to be an EA. 2 years holding a grudge over something tiny, bad mouthing someone and AFTER they tried to do the right thing. That person's just awful...wow. And why would you leave money unattended? Its a shared space, surely someone could have stole it before she even got it. Then what would she do? Ask you to pay again?

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HEONTHETOILET - **Two f**king years over a dumped lunch?!**. There are seriously people like that who exist? Walking among us?. What kind of f**king clown world is this?. Obvious NTA. Jesus Christ.

legendary_mushroom - I hate when people use the language typically reserved for abuse and a**ault for s**t like dropped food

[Reddit User] - NTA. Two years go bye and someone is resentful that you left a note to try to do the right thing? Ffs, they are the one with issues.

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e-elegia - NTA, that's ridiculous in every way. This was not an 'attack' and the EA was not a 'victim.' It was an accident and it was TWO YEARS AGO. Who holds a grudge over something that dumb for that long??

tincan-telephone - Definitely NTA! I'm very confused about why this person would be so offended by your courteous actions. She had lots of time to take you up on repaying. There's gotta be a statute of limitations after two years. Also, the way she characterizes contacting you as 'tracking down the attacker' is a bit ... dramatic. Keep your money.

KateBeckinsale_PM_Me - NTA. If it was that big a deal, they could have called or texted and, like a NORMAL person, just said 'thanks for letting me know' and that's that.. Holding a grudge and talk s**t about you FOR TWO YEARS is the mark of an unhinged person.. Nope. Statute of limitations is out on dogoodery here. haha

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These Reddit takes are spicier than cafeteria chili, but do they get it right? Is two years too long to hold a lunch grudge, or should Emma pony up?

Emma’s fridge fiasco shows how a small mishap can snowball into a workplace legend when communication stalls. Her efforts to make things right were met with silence, yet the EA spun a tale of villainy. It’s a reminder to address slip-ups directly, lest they fester into epic grudges. Would you pay up to smooth things over two years later, or stand your ground like Emma? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this lunchroom drama!

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