AITA for not continuing paying my parents’ expenses after I got married?

In a cozy suburban home, a young mother’s world buzzed with the chaos of raising her son, her parents’ voices a constant hum of support—or so she thought. Gratitude once warmed her heart for their help, but now, at the dawn of her new marriage, she faces a bitter tug-of-war. Her parents, barely in their 50s, demand she remain their financial lifeline, even suggesting she leave her son behind. Can she break free without guilt tearing her apart?

The Reddit post that sparked this debate is a raw glimpse into family ties tangled with obligation. Readers are left wondering: where’s the line between gratitude and exploitation? This story unravels a clash of love, duty, and independence, pulling us into a drama that’s all too relatable.

‘AITA for not continuing paying my parents’ expenses after I got married?’

When I was 20 yo I had a son and became a single mom, (the dad didn’t want to be part of my son’s life) my parents offered me to stay at their house and my mom could help with the baby. I thought it was a blessing since I now am responsible for my baby. I was extremely grateful.

I worked harder than ever, I paid 1/2 their rent, $200 for bills at first. After months of this arrangement my dad lost his job, my mom didn’t work. I had a good job that was paying me well, so I took on all the expenses of the house while my dad found a new job. I’m talking full rent, groceries, utilities, tv, cellphones, gas, car insurance, even spending money for them.

A year after “no luck finding a job” my parents tell me my dad will no longer be looking for a job since he is now old and tired. That I have been doing great at work and they see how I can support them, so we should now just keep doing this. At the moment I was grateful for all their help with my son that I didn’t disagree.

This went on for 3 years, until one day I met this guy who is now my husband. After getting married my parents were expecting him moving in with us and we will continue this, but sadly I didn’t want to. My husband and I talked and we agreed to get our own place, start our own family, our own life and give my son a chance of a family.

When we told my parents they got super angry saying they have no way to support themselves and I already had agreed to support them. Basically I was their retirement! I didn’t see a problem moving out since my parents are not THAT old, they are both 52. They agreed to “let” me move out but I had to leave my son, so I could still be supporting them.

To which my husband replied “No Way! He is my stepson who I see as my own son, he is not staying here” . My parents replied “ok, they both can move out but she still has to pay for our expenses” I told them we could help them for couple months but sadly I couldn’t keep paying for ALL their expenses. AITA?

This tale of familial obligation gone awry is a classic case of blurred boundaries. The young mother’s gratitude for her parents’ early help morphed into an unspoken contract—one she never signed. Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, a busty brunette psychologist and author, notes, “Enmeshed families often create a dynamic where children feel responsible for their parents’ emotional or financial needs” (Psychology Today, 2023). This rings true here, as the parents’ reliance on their daughter feels less like gratitude and more like entitlement.

The mother’s situation highlights a broader issue: the “parentification” of adult children, where roles reverse, and kids become caregivers. Studies suggest 10-15% of adults experience this dynamic, often leading to resentment and burnout (Journal of Family Psychology, 2021). Her parents, at 52, are young enough to work, yet their expectation of lifelong support smells faintly of manipulation.

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Dr. Gibson’s insight applies directly: the mother’s sense of duty clashes with her parents’ refusal to take responsibility. Their demand to keep her son as leverage? That’s emotional blackmail, plain and simple. The solution lies in setting firm boundaries—offering temporary help but prioritizing her new family’s future.

For her, practical steps include a clear timeline for phasing out support, as suggested by Reddit’s wisdom. She could connect her parents with job resources or social services, maintaining compassion without sacrificing her own dreams. Boundaries aren’t betrayal; they’re self-preservation.

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Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s verdict? A resounding “NTA” with a side of sass. Here’s what the community had to say, dishing out candid takes with a sprinkle of humor:

[Reddit User] − NTA. They're 52. It'd be different if they were older. You don't mention disabilities, so I assume they can work. Walmart is always hiring.

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LugieMR − NTA - your parents took advantage of your situation. You have a obligation to your son and now husband to put them first. I would understand if your parents were really old (70 or something) but they are both young and could be working. They CHOOSE not to work and depend on you.

sickofdriving007 − NTA. 52 is not too old to get another job. I get they helped you when you needed it but you are not forever in their debt.

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AshesB77 − Absolutely NTA. You have paid them well for their help. However, you no longer need their help and now need to start planning and paying for your future retirement and potentially for your sons college fund. They are only 52! They can get jobs and pay their own way. Give them the few months you said you would and then hold firm.

that_jedi_girl − NTA.. Your parents are interested in a vassal, not a daughter.

Myhairyleftfoot − OMG... You are definitely NTA like WTF. It looks like they just had someone pay for their expenses so they could just 'chill' Like they didn't do anything eventhough it's easy to at least find a low paying job just to show that they're trying, but they stopped trying, they relied on you...

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And now they're gaslighting you into paying for their lives. You're not their parent, they're yours and they don't treat you like a parent shoukd treat their child. And wanting to take your child from you is actually emotional blackmail, they want to take your child so you would feel guilty for your child having a bad life without money so you would pay for their life...

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your dad can get a job. You don’t need their permission to live your life.

snarkymom555 − Is their house in your name? No? Not your problem.. Are the utilities in your name? No? Not your problem.. Property taxes? Home insurance? If none of these are in your name, you are not compelled to pay them.

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Take 'my parents' our of your post and replace it with 'my landlord' and see how that shoe fits. Set a time line and cut them off. You are able to support yourself and your new family which is what every normal parent wants for their child. They need to sink or swim on their own.

Tralfamadorians_go − They agreed to “let” me move out but I had to leave my son, so I could still be supporting them.. I don't need any other part of the post. They're gaping, supermassive blackholes of assholes.. NTA, good luck on your new life.

shadow-foxe − NTA- sheesh. you sure your dad didn't quit his job?? If they are able to work, then they should. You no longer need their help with child care so their is no win win situation for you all.

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These hot takes from Reddit cut sharp, but do they slice through to reality? Some see the parents’ demands as lazy opportunism, others as a cry for help. Either way, the consensus screams independence.

This young mother’s saga is a masterclass in navigating family ties without drowning in guilt. She’s not just fighting for her wallet but for her son’s future and her own happiness. Her parents’ grip on her generosity feels like a plot twist nobody saw coming. What would you do if your family expected you to bankroll their lives indefinitely? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to draw a line with loved ones?

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