AITA for making my kids pay for part of our family vacation?

In a cozy suburban home, the promise of a Prague adventure hung in the air like a tantalizing dream. A father, eager to seize a rare opportunity, proposed a family trip to visit a former exchange student’s family. But the catch? His 16-year-old twins would need to chip in for their airfare, a decision that stirred tears and tension.

The plan seemed perfect—until a miscommunication about costs left his daughter reeling. As the family teetered on the edge of discord, the question loomed: should kids ever pay to join a family vacation? This Reddit tale pulls us into a whirlwind of emotions and tough choices.

‘AITA for making my kids pay for part of our family vacation?’

My family and I hosted an exchange student from Prague a couple of years ago. Last fall, his family offered for us to visit and stay in their flat in Prague. I researched airfares and asked my two kids if they would be willing to pay $1000 each to cover their airfare. At first, they declined but subsequently agreed.

They are 16 (twins) and have summer jobs. They each already had enough in savings to cover the cost. We are a middle class family (maybe more towards lower-middle class). My wife has a disability so we are a single-income family. We travel for vacations occasionally and I have never asked my kids to contribute to a vacation before.

The airfare turned out to be $775 each. When I let my kids know this, I was surprised that my daughter was nearly in tears. Her recollection was that I had told her the airfare was $375. This is the cost for the return airfare - I don't know where the miscommunication came in.

She is VERY fastidious with her money and this extra cost really upset her. I explained that the original amount I told them was $1000 and that this was a deal. I told her that she would have to pay the $775 or that she could not go. If I offered her a reduced fare, I would have to do the same for her brother. The trip would then cost me an extra $800.

My wife says that IATA because parents shouldn't charge their kids to go on vacation. A couple of her friends went to Europe with their families when they were teenagers and they didn't have to contribute financially. I feel that we wouldn't get to go otherwise and that most kids don't get to travel to Europe.. Reddit - What say ye?

Family vacations are meant to bond, not break, a family. Yet, this father’s ultimatum—pay up or stay home—has ignited a fiery debate. Let’s unpack this with a touch of wit and wisdom.

The father’s logic is practical: a single-income household can’t always foot the bill for grand adventures. Asking teens with savings to contribute seems fair, especially for a once-in-a-lifetime trip. But the daughter’s tears reveal a deeper sting—feeling pressured to drain her hard-earned savings or miss out on family memories.

Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert, notes, “Kids need to feel included in family experiences without financial burdens” (Peaceful Parent ). Forcing teens to pay risks resentment, especially at 16, when savings are often earmarked for college or personal goals. The miscommunication about costs only amplifies the daughter’s distress, making her feel unheard.

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This saga taps into a broader issue: financial stress in families. A 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association found that 72% of parents report money-related stress impacting family dynamics (APA Stress in America). Here, the father’s insistence on fairness clashes with the teens’ sense of security.

What’s the fix? Open dialogue. The father could cover airfare and ask the kids to chip in for smaller expenses, like souvenirs. This balances inclusion with responsibility, fostering teamwork without ultimatums. Families facing similar dilemmas should prioritize communication to avoid turning dream trips into nightmares.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one—grab your popcorn for some spicy takes! Here’s what the community had to say, served with a side of humor:

smashells32 − YTA based on age. High school kids shouldn't have to pay for a family vacation out of their savings! Let them save that money for college.

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Kurb117 − YTA. If you cant afford that huge trip... dont go?

Youhavemyaxeee − YTA for making children pay for a holiday. I get that they have dinner jobs, but those are usually considered to be for their own fun (shopping, video games, etc), for something they consider essential (laptops, phones, etc), or, and this is important, **college savings**.

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I doubt that you're paying for college given that you won't even take your own family on holiday, so what do you expect your children to do about that? It's hard for a teenager to save $1,000, let alone the cost of an entire education. Your scheme here will see them both back where they started at the beginning of their savings. If you can't afford Prague, then don't go.

peithecelt − YTA - if it's a family vacation, parents pay. They are 16, not 26.

poemchomsky − YTA and here's why. Your daughter is at an age where she is still going to feel very much left out of the family vacation if she can't go. She's not an adult who can take vacations in her own or with her SO and choose not to go with the family. She's not in her own house with her own adult life while you're all in Europe without her. She's sitting in the family home alone being excluded.

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Or you don't exclude her but no one goes. Then your 16 year old has ruined it for everyone, and she had to live with that. Your kids should not have to pay you to be included in family life. And they shouldn't be blackmailed into spending their own money because 'if you don't go, no one can go.'

[Reddit User] − YTA. If it’s a “family vacation,” parents should pay. If it’s every man for himself, don’t disguise it as a family vacation. You’re essentially saying “IM going to Prague, and if you’re willing to sacrifice your savings, you can tag along.” That’s not how family should work.

chaddiereddits − YTA. Who makes their kids pay for a family vacation? Weird.

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skysmurf − YTA it's a family vacation and they're 16 kids don't pay for vacation period.

ambthab − YTA Your kids are minors. You're expecting too much from them at their age and it kind of seems a bit greedy for you to want them to spend their savings or be left out. You should be proud of them for being able to save like that, and encourage them to keep it for something important (like a car, or college).

Being left out of a family vacation would have been terribly hurtful and upsetting to me at that age, and I would've felt pressured to do it-even if I didn't want to. A more fair deal would be to pay their airfare and have them contribute to their spending money, but you are asking for too much. I'm sure they feel like they don't really have a choice in the matter.

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[Reddit User] − YTA No s**t she's crying, you're stressing them both out by basically saying, 'Pay $1000 or get left behind when we visit our friend.' And of course she misheard because that's an awfully jarring thing to hear from your parents all of a sudden on top of a job, school, maybe eventually going on to a trade or college.

I assume a large part of her didn't want that information to be true. If it was a class trip or a gap year that they themselves planned as an actual vacation, it would be not the a**hole, but that's barely even a vacation. They're presumably around the foreign exchange students age, and are probably better if not just as good friends with them as you are.

The vacation time is just a bonus to being able to visit someone they'll have a connection with for the rest of their life, and you want to make it one of the most stressful and sudden experiences of their life when they learn, 'Oh s**t, apparently 18-20 isn't the time to grow up, my parents say it's now.'

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On top of that, you mention they already had $1000 as savings. Why are you making them cut out of their already made savings so you can save your own money to visit someone who was a child when you met them and is probably much closer to your own children than they are (the exchange student) to you?

Did you maybe think they're saving so they can develop their own life and create their own opportunities in their own country without suddenly having to worry about missing the experience of a life time or giving that up? Yeah, you're right most kids don't get to travel to Europe,

but most kids these days don't have enough money saved to live even close to debt-free either and you're just dangling these two entirely different choices in front of their faces for no reason other than to save some money in your own already established and semi-wealthy pocket.. Edit: formatting.

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These Redditors sure brought the heat, but do their YTA verdicts hold up in the real world? One thing’s clear: this story struck a nerve!

This Prague predicament leaves us pondering: where’s the line between teaching kids responsibility and preserving family unity? The father’s heart was in the right place, but his approach stirred more drama than a soap opera. What would you do if you were in his shoes—cover the costs or stand firm? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack this family feud together!

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