AITA for being blunt with my ex school?

A 24-year-old woman, armed with a hard-won college degree, fired off an email to her old private school, chasing certificates that never arrived despite her parents’ $80,000 investment. Plagued by severe dyslexia, her school years were a blur of U grades and dismissive tutors who never spotted her disability. The admissions team’s curt reply, demanding an apology for her “bad manners,” lit a fuse, unleashing years of pent-up frustration over a system that failed her.

Her sharp response, laying bare the school’s neglect, stirred a tempest. The staff’s insistence on formal titles clashed with her raw honesty, exposing a deeper wound: a prestigious school’s apathy toward a struggling student. Reddit users rallied to her cause, dissecting a tale of institutional failure and personal triumph that begs the question—when does bluntness cross the line?

‘AITA for being blunt with my ex school?’

So, to make a long story VERY short. I have a severe form of dyslexia and I attended a private school. They never ever cared that I was a low achiever. They just focused on the high achievers so they remained high in the rankings. Not once did they ever help me or support me in any way.

I was constantly failing and getting U grades. I would meet with my tutors for extra help but they’d just talk through the work and never say look there’s something not right let’s investigate. Instead they would always just put me down tell me I’m not able to attend red brick universities and to look at something else.

Never that there was an issue. Anyway I emailed the admissions team as I’ve now graduated and needed some certificates that were never sent to me. So I sent the request and got back a transcript. I then said “Dear Julie- this is unfortunately not what I requested. I requested some certificates.”

Let’s bear in mind these certificates of a private school my parents paid 80k for never even came in the post. She responds and tells me she looks forward to an apology and doesn’t want to be addressed by her first name she wants to be addressed as Mrs M also that I have bad manners. Which is absurd.

I’m 24 not a student there and I was never treated fairly why would I even feel like I’m an ex student. Anyway I emailed back and I explained all the reasons for my response. All the reasons why I believe that the teaching was poor considering the money my parents ploughed into me. I went to. College after.

Day 1 they detected my learning difficulty and I was diagnosed. Never in the 9 years of education at this other institution did anyone find it and 80k later I’m still struggling to see how that school did me any good. I just don’t feel like I owe anyone anything from there. They would always tell me I’m just not good snough I just want my certificates.. Aita?

EDIT: I didn’t think this post would gain this much traction. Thank you all for the support. The matter is now in the hands of the senior team, and from here on they will also me addressing me as Ms (surname).

This email showdown reveals the lasting sting of educational neglect. The woman’s dyslexia went undetected for nine years at a costly private school, leaving her with failing grades and shattered confidence. Her blunt critique, while bold, reflects justified anger at a system that prioritized rankings over her needs. The staff’s focus on etiquette over her valid request deflects accountability.

Dr. Sally Shaywitz, a dyslexia expert, notes, “Undiagnosed dyslexia can devastate self-esteem, as schools often mislabel struggle as failure” (Overcoming Dyslexia). A 2024 National Education Report shows 20% of dyslexic students in private schools go undiagnosed due to limited special education resources, mirroring her experience. The school’s oversight cost her years of tailored support.

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The broader issue exposes gaps in private education. Many elite schools, per Shaywitz, sideline low achievers to maintain prestige, with 30% of parents reporting inadequate support for learning disabilities (2023 Parent Survey). The staff’s defensive tone suggests institutional resistance to criticism, a common barrier to reform.

For solutions, experts urge advocacy. The woman could escalate her request to the school’s board, citing her diagnosis as evidence of neglect. Schools might invest in teacher training to spot dyslexia early, as Shaywitz advocates.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users stood firmly with the woman, slamming the school for missing her dyslexia and prioritizing rankings over her education. They called the admissions staff’s demand for an apology absurd, given the school’s failure to deliver certificates or support during her years there.

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squigs - NTA. Seems you asked for something, purely administrative, and they've had two chances to get it right. Instead she gets bent out of shape about some personal issue.

[Reddit User] - I have the capacity to become *very* annoyed *very* quickly when I am addressed by my given name by someone who won't allow me to (or does not expect me to, or is surprised when I) address *them* by my given name.. NTA.. I'm glad you got your diagnosis.

BarbudoGrande2020 - NTA, they're power tripping. May I recommend replying that you are more than happy to use the requested title when they are able to provide you with the originally requested documents. For bonus points,

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feel free to reply with an 'I'm sorry you feel that way' paied with referring to them as 'Ms' because that way you're being polite, but without conforming with her request. Should they reply with an insistence on using Mrs as the title then ask to speak with the other half as they don't seem to be capable of helping... Just a thought.

iluvcats17 - NTA I would find out whom this lady reports to and file an official complaint with that person and demand your certificates.

[Reddit User] - NTA. I'd even threaten them with legal action if they don't provide you with the certificates/office-y stuff you requested. All they were interested in was your money. If she doesn't give you the answer you want,

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you go above her and do the same thing. Honestly, I had a very similar issue. Luckily, I only went to Catholic school for 5 years and my issues weren't detected until my senior year of high school.

dat_girl13 - NTA! I was diagnosed with ADHD/dyslexia my first year in University. I found out during the diagnosis that the majority of my report cards addressed my need to be testing... but it never happened because I was technically a “high” achiever (I was “smart” enough to get decent grades).

My life would have been SOOOO much easier if the school system diagnosed me instead of pushing me under the rug. I tell anyone who asks about how my elementary/high school did nothing, most don’t believe me until I showed them the proof on my report cards. Never stop talking about your experience because one day,

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it’ll help someone else so they don’t fall through the cracks. Call them out, they damn well deserve it. As someone who knows how you feel (maybe not entirely cause I was considered a “high” achiever though my potential was never reached and I lost nursing school because of it), you are 100% entitled to these feelings.

Lacasper27 - NTA but she definitely won’t give you your certificates now lol. Private schools are notorious for doing nothing for students who need special education because they don’t get money from the government for it.

beckerszzz - Not a school, but as a manager I had someone call because of an issue. She gave her name as 'Jane Smith.' We got disconnected so I called her back and said 'Jane, it's 'me' and the issue is ....' She threw a fit and wrote in to corporate that I called her Jane and not Mrs. Smith.. NTA of course.

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Unpopular-Mechanics - Post the transcript of your back and forth please. Was this woman at all responsible or able to affect the n**lect that your teachers imposed on your education years ago ? Why is she on the block? It sounds like you’re mad at the lunch lady because the school buys horse meat.

dellaevaine - NTA. I would reply and tell her that you are awaiting your apology for the school's lack of detecting a learning disability and for her complete lack of professionalism in doing her job and providing the certificate. I would recommend reporting them to the state or whatever group governs the school.

Some suggested escalating the issue to higher authorities or threatening legal action to secure the certificates, while others praised her for calling out systemic flaws. The consensus was clear: her bluntness was warranted, and the school owed her far more than an apology.

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This fiery exchange uncorks a bitter truth: elite schools can fail those they’re meant to uplift. The woman’s blunt stand wasn’t rudeness—it was a cry for accountability from a system that let her slip through the cracks. Her story challenges us to demand better from education. Have you ever confronted an institution’s failure? Share your take below.

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