AITA for refusing to help with the men’s section since guys aren’t “allowed” to help with the women’s section?

A bustling clothing store became a battleground for fairness when one employee dared to challenge an outdated rule. Picture racks of vibrant dresses and neatly folded jeans, with workers darting between departments—except for an unwritten code keeping men out of the women’s section. For the OP, a female employee swamped with bras and jackets, this double standard meant extra work while male coworkers tossed a toy football, sparking a standoff that’s got Reddit buzzing.

The drama unfolded when the OP refused to help the men’s section, fed up with the unfair load. Her pushback led to a heated team meeting, some support, and a few snarky jabs calling her a “baby.” This tale dives into workplace equality, hidden biases, and the courage to demand change. Who’s really in the wrong here?

‘AITA for refusing to help with the men’s section since guys aren’t “allowed” to help with the women’s section?’

I work at a store that used to be entirely a women's clothing store. Bras, underwear, and women's clothing. About 3 years ago the company started including men and children's clothes. Now the store is about 50 percent women's, 25 percent men's, and 25 percent children's.

When we come in we are assigned to a department. It is either women's, men's, children's, cashier, fitting room, or processing. Because of the smaller side of the men's and children's departments the people in those departments normally finish way before the person in the women's department finishes.

If there is a girl working in the children's department and a guy working in the men's department then they tell the girl that she has to help out whoever is in the women's department. If they are both girls then they both have to help. If they are both guys then neither helps. Girls will be put in men's but guys never get put in women's.

It is an unwritten rule that guys can't work in the women's department. They can't even help out. Last week I was swapped in the women's department and asked my manager if I could get some help. He said the two other people on the floor were both guys so they couldn't help me.

I asked if they could just do the women's clothing while I do the bras and underwear in case dealing with undergarments and intimate wears makes the guys uncomfortable. My manager said no because they don't even know where anything goes and it would be easier if I did it.

Both guys were done with their smaller departments and were playing around with a toy football. Yesterday we had a sale on men's jeans so the men's department was crazy for once. I was doing women's and finished earlier than usual. My manager told me to go help the guy in men's.

I told him that I wasn't going to because no one helped me last week when I was swapped in the women's department. Why should I have to fold men's underwear if the guys don't have to help hang up women's jackets? My manager said that we'll discuss this another time but I told him that I don't want to discuss it another time.

He ended up saying that if I help out in men's then he'll revisit the rule about guys not helping out in women's. This morning we had a meeting about a potential rule change and pretty much everyone there knew it was because I complained.

One of the other girls thanked me privately and one of the guys agreed that fair is fair but the other two guys kept calling me a baby and saying that I cried over nothing and ruined everything.

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I only had a short shift today and when I left one of the guys asked if I was leaving early to go drink my bottle because I'm such a baby. I didn't mean to make things harder on them. I just wanted it to be more fair but am I the a**hole for causing more drama?

An unwritten rule barring men from the women’s section isn’t just unfair—it’s a relic of outdated gender norms. The OP’s frustration stems from a clear imbalance: women tackle extra work while men skate by, a dynamic that breeds resentment. Her refusal to help the men’s section was a bold call for equity, though it stirred tension with coworkers who benefited from the status quo.

This issue reflects broader workplace gender disparities. A 2020 study in Gender, Work & Organization (link) found that women often handle disproportionate “emotional labor” tasks, like managing sensitive inventory, which aligns with the OP’s experience. The store’s policy, while informal, reinforces stereotypes about “women’s work,” leaving female staff overburdened.

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Dr. Ellen Kossek, an expert on workplace gender dynamics, notes in a Harvard Business Review article (link), “Unspoken rules that unevenly distribute tasks by gender undermine team cohesion and productivity.” For the OP, suggesting men handle non-intimate women’s clothing was a practical compromise, yet dismissed. The manager’s reluctance to adapt shows a failure to address bias head-on.

The solution? The store must formalize equal task-sharing across departments. Training all staff on inventory placement, as the OP suggested, eliminates excuses. For now, the OP should document incidents and escalate to HR if resistance persists.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crowd rolled in with fiery takes, serving up support and a few zingers like a lively breakroom debate. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

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MissBitch25 − NTA. Fair is fair. They're just pissed they have to work now. Seriously, they need to grow up.. asked if I was going to go drink my bottle.... 'I would, but you won't give it back.'. Edit: wow. My highest rated comment and an award? Thank you.

doodlebug_95 − what a stupid rule, unofficial or not. sounds like those two guys are mad for *gasp* possibly having to do as much work as the girls do. NTA.

chicken_fillett − NTA this is clearly sexist and unfair. You’re all working in the same place so I don’t get the big deal, surely everyone just help out everywhere and you can all finish earlier together.

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logicalideals − Definitely NTA. Even with undergarments that’s ridiculous. Victoria’s Secret, mainly women’s undergarments, hired my male friend in high school and he never once complained, he was thankful to have a job and they treated him well. Who cares if it’s folding underwear?. I’m glad you took a stand, I’d be furious if I had to work under that double standard!

VetteofSD − NTA. As a business owner, please report this moron manager and the 'you're ruining everything' employees to their superiors. If you're slowing down my businesses sales because you're afraid of women's underwear, then I don't want you as an employee.

Much less a manager. Especially when you have employees, such as yourself, being worked more than others for (I'm assuming) the same pay. I'll sympathize and say that maybe they're from a more traditional upbringing. 'Men don't touch women's garmets' type deal. That's the only bone I'm going to throw this guy.

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Not saying he's right, but I can see how he 'thinks' it's right. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt or see it from a different perspective, but I'm really reaching here. You're doing the best thing you can in your situation. Bring up the issue and stand your ground. As for your other employees saying you're ruining everything, f**k them.

They're complaining they may have to do more work, and honestly who wouldn't? But you bet they'd be complaining if they were in your situation. It's not personal, you're unfortunately just the face of it. For now, Just keep doing a good job and remember that people can barely pay attention long enough to read these posts. They'll get over it and forget about it.

Novel-Imagination94 − NTA. When I first ready your post I thought it just might be about the intimate section but extending it to all of women’s clothing is so strange. Definitely a potentially sexist policy that expects women to do more work than men.

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Mochafrap512 − Nta...Are you in the United States? If so, I believe the rule they have isn’t legal. Now, it’s different if a man is uncomfortable handling. Those items. That can be dealt with and negotiated, but their blanket rule is sexist.

TeenyTinyT-Rexx − 'I cried over nothing' and 'ruined everything'.. So what is it? Nothing or everything?. F-ing ridiculous.. NTA

sthetic − Info - is this work happening in front of customers? During business hours, or after closing? Not that it makes a difference. But I think it's funny how a customer might see a man folding women's underwear

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and be appalled and assume he's contaminating it with his lurid outlook, whereas if they see a woman folding men's underwear, it seems natural and normal. Because we're conditioned to think it's a 'woman's job' to fold her husband's laundry (eyeroll). What a sexist world!

-CalmingStorm- − NTA, it’s just clothes, they should suck it up and be equal about it. You were right to bring it up.

Redditors cheered the OP’s stand, slamming the rule as sexist and the male coworkers’ complaints as petty. Some urged reporting the manager, while others saw the pushback as a step toward fairness. But do these hot takes capture the whole story, or are they just fanning the flames? This workplace saga has sparked a debate about equality and accountability.

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This store showdown reveals how unspoken rules can quietly fuel inequality, leaving some workers—like the OP—carrying an unfair load. Her courage to speak up sparked change, but also drama, showing the cost of challenging norms. As the store rethinks its policies, her story reminds us that fairness requires action, not silence. Have you faced a workplace double standard? What would you do in the OP’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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