AITA for requiring a cash deposit to come to TG dinner and uninviting my sister and her husband because they refuse to pay it?
The sun sets over a beachside home, where the promise of warm sand and turkey beckons a large family for Thanksgiving. But beneath the festive vibe, a storm brews. The host, tired of their sister Kari and her husband Bob turning every gathering into a political battlefield, lays down a bold rule: a $500 deposit to ensure silence on politics, refundable if everyone plays nice. When Kari and Bob refuse, they’re uninvited, leaving family ties strained and Reddit abuzz.
This isn’t just about a holiday dinner—it’s a clash of boundaries, family drama, and the lengths one goes to keep peace. With parents pleading for their grandkids’ presence and the deposit sparking heated debate, the host’s move has everyone talking. Is this a genius boundary or a tacky overreach? Let’s dig into the juicy details of this Thanksgiving showdown.
‘AITA for requiring a cash deposit to come to TG dinner and uninviting my sister and her husband because they refuse to pay it?’
Family gatherings can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield when politics are on the table. The OP’s $500 deposit rule, while unconventional, is a desperate bid to shield Thanksgiving from Kari and Bob’s relentless debates. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman emphasizes that “healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining respect in relationships” . Here, the OP’s boundary—albeit pricey—aims to protect the family’s harmony, but its financial sting has sparked backlash.
Data shows 62% of Americans avoid political talk at family events to prevent conflict (Pew Research, 2020). Kari and Bob’s refusal to comply suggests they prioritize their agenda over family peace. However, the deposit’s high cost risks alienating others, as some Reddit users called it “tacky.” A softer approach, like a written no-politics pledge, might have avoided the standoff.
Gottman’s advice on conflict resolution suggests clear communication and mutual respect. The OP could have offered Kari a chance to agree to the rule without payment, emphasizing the kids’ inclusion. For readers, setting firm but fair boundaries—like banning politics outright—can keep gatherings joyful.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Reddit’s serving up a feast of opinions on this Thanksgiving deposit drama, and the takes are as spicy as the stuffing. Here’s what the community had to say:
These Reddit hot takes split the table—some cheer the OP’s bold move, while others cringe at the cash barrier. Is the deposit a clever fix or a recipe for family fallout? The kids caught in the crossfire add a bittersweet twist.
The OP’s $500 deposit was a gamble to keep Thanksgiving politics-free, but uninviting Kari and Bob has left family ties frayed. Their refusal to play ball suggests they’d rather debate than dine, but the kids missing out tugs at heartstrings. Reddit’s divided, and the OP’s parents are pleading for peace. Was the deposit a boundary worth setting, or did it burn bridges? Share your thoughts—what would you do to keep your holiday drama-free?
I can’t see them paying up, and no one else should pony up the cash for them. I think that the writer has tried hard, in the past, to keep things civil. If they put all the work into food preparations for the big day, and cleaned/decorated their home, their house rules should be respected by others. But I guess you can try this $500 deposit, and see what happens. No deposit, no entrance.
We have a similar problem in my family, and we try really hard to avoid certain topics. It’s been hard to change the family dynamic. I have been figuratively ‘biting my cheek’ rather than responding to things people say in a snide way. We also try not to dwell on family losses, too. All the past hurts can boil over. After COVID, our gatherings are so few.
I see you don’t plan to have people over long. Keep it short and sweet. Good Luck!