AITA for not wanting to cook my mother-in-law a turkey on Thanksgiving?
The scent of roasted vegetables was meant to fill one Reddit user’s home this Thanksgiving, a vegetarian feast to welcome their in-laws. But a curveball from their mother-in-law, who invited herself to their place, threw a wrench in the plan: she demanded a turkey, dismissing their meat-free principles. Despite last year’s accommodating sides at her home, she called their refusal selfish, igniting a holiday spat.
With one oven and a moral stance against meat, the user resists, dreaming of a turkey-free spread, yet feels the weight of family expectations. This clash of diets and duties pulls us into a savory debate over hosting, holidays, and holding firm to beliefs.
‘AITA for not wanting to cook my mother-in-law a turkey on Thanksgiving?’
This Thanksgiving tussle is a classic blend of family pressure and personal boundaries. The user’s refusal to cook a turkey honors their vegetarianism, a choice rooted in ethics for 60% of U.S. vegetarians, per a 2024 Gallup poll. The mother-in-law’s demand, while tied to tradition, disregards their values, escalating tension.
Dr. Susan Albers, a family dynamics expert, says, “Holiday expectations can clash with individual principles, especially around food” (source: Cleveland Clinic, 2022). The in-laws’ past accommodation shows flexibility, but their insistence now feels entitled, especially after self-inviting.
The user’s single oven and inexperience with meat (only one turkey cooked years ago) make the request impractical. A compromise—like asking the in-laws to bring a pre-cooked turkey—could ease friction, as suggested by Reddit. Albers’ insight emphasizes open dialogue to align expectations without sacrificing core beliefs.
The user should propose a potluck or clearly state their vegetarian menu upfront, inviting contributions. A calm talk with their wife to unify their stance could strengthen their position. This story highlights how holiday traditions test family ties when values diverge.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Reddit users largely backed the user, calling them not the asshole for refusing to cook a turkey. They slammed the mother-in-law’s self-invitation and menu demands as rude, arguing vegetarians shouldn’t be forced to handle meat, especially a complex dish like turkey.
![[Reddit User] − Def not the a**hole but you should just give an ultimatum. Say I will host with a vegetarian dish or you can host with your turkey.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/314989zcc-01.png)
![[Reddit User] − Defs not the a**hole, I could see mayyyybee if YOU had invited HER and then maybe didn't tell you her wouldn't be serving meat or something like that, but she invited herself over and then insisted you do things her way.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/314989zcc-02.png)
![[Reddit User] − I'm wondering if all the people here would say you should accommodate her desire for a cooked turkey and bang on about traditions if you were just making a beef joint because you didn't like turkey.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/314989zcc-14.png)
Some suggested compromises, like a pre-cooked turkey or potluck, to keep peace, noting the in-laws’ prior accommodation. A few questioned if the user’s resistance might alienate family, but most felt the in-laws’ entitlement overstepped, validating the user’s meat-free stand.
This turkey-free Thanksgiving tale serves up a feast of family drama, where dietary choices clash with holiday norms. The user’s stand against cooking meat defends their values, but risks a side of family tension. Whether you’ve faced holiday demands or juggled hosting with principles, this story resonates. Have you ever had to balance family expectations with personal beliefs at a holiday table? Share your thoughts below!
