AITA for not wanting to do a double wedding?

Imagine a bride-to-be, glowing with plans for her June wedding, only to have her mother drop a bombshell: “Let’s make it a double wedding!” In a home filled with the ghosts of old family grudges, this 27-year-old woman faced a dilemma when her newly engaged mother tried to hitch her own nuptials to her daughter’s big day. With the wedding mostly paid for by the bride and her fiancé, the request felt like a curveball tossed into a carefully choreographed dance.

This isn’t just about clashing wedding plans—it’s a tale of family loyalty, lingering resentment, and a daughter standing her ground. The mother’s push for a shared spotlight, coupled with her threat to pull funding, has Reddit buzzing with opinions. As the bride holds firm, the question lingers: is she selfish, or just protecting her moment?

‘AITA for not wanting to do a double wedding?’

Weddings are emotional minefields, and throwing a mother’s engagement into the mix can ignite old tensions. The OP’s refusal to share her wedding day stems from a need to preserve her vision, especially after funding most of it herself. Her mother’s demand for a double wedding, despite contributing only a fraction, feels like a power grab. As family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated”. Here, the mother’s push disregards the OP’s autonomy.

Data shows 80% of couples primarily fund their own weddings (The Knot, 2024), making the OP’s financial stake typical. Her mother’s resentment toward her ex-husband adds complexity, risking drama on a day meant for joy. The mother’s threat to reclaim her contribution smacks of manipulation, not support.

Satir’s approach suggests open communication to resolve family conflicts. The OP could calmly explain her need for a solo celebration, perhaps offering to help plan her mother’s separate event.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s got some fiery takes on this mother-daughter wedding clash, and they’re serving up truth with a side of sass. Here’s what the community chimed in with:

These Reddit gems rally behind the OP, but is it really just about a wedding? It’s a showdown of boundaries and family baggage. Could there be a compromise, or is this a hill to die on?

The OP’s wedding is her moment, not a stage for her mother’s encore. By refusing a double wedding, she’s claiming her joy in a family tangled with old wounds. Her mother’s tantrum and threats only deepen the divide, but the OP’s fiancé has her back, ready to cut financial ties. Reddit’s cheering, but what’s your take? Should she bend for family peace, or stand firm for her dream day? Share your thoughts—what would you do if your parent tried to steal your spotlight?