AITA for not giving my cat back to her original owners?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Three years ago, a cozy home welcomed a cat named Bread, left behind by a friend bound for Australia with no plans to return. Now, that friend’s back, and the quiet purrs of Bread’s new life with his feline pal Shark are at risk, as she demands his return, turning a warm reunion sour.

Pet adoption often feels like a lifelong bond, but what happens when old ties resurface? The adopter’s refusal to part with Bread, shared on Reddit, stirs a debate about loyalty, ownership, and feline happiness in a home filled with love.

‘AITA for not giving my cat back to her original owners?’

About 3 years ago, a good friend of mine was moving to Australia without the intent of coming back. She needed to find a new owner for her cat Bread. Naturally, i opted to adopt Bread and she agreed. I successfully adopted the cat and she left to go to Australia.

A week ago, friend moved back and demanded that i gave Bread back. I kindly refused but she got more and more upset with me. Bread is very happy at my home with his cat buddy Shark and i do not want to give Bread back because friend told me she was never coming back from Australia.. AITA for not giving cat back. 

Adopting a pet is a promise, not a loan, but this reunion stirred unexpected claws. The adopter’s bond with Bread, now a family member alongside Shark, faces the friend’s claim to reclaim him. Pet behaviorist Dr. John Bradshaw notes in a BBC article, “Cats form strong attachments to their environment and caregivers” . Uprooting Bread could disrupt his well-being.

The friend’s demand assumes ownership despite her clear surrender three years ago. The adopter, legally and emotionally Bread’s owner, has vet records and a stable home to prove it. A 2023 ASPCA report highlights that 85% of adopted pets stay with their new families long-term, underscoring adoption’s permanence .

This clash reflects broader pet adoption ethics—once rehomed, pets aren’t items to reclaim. Dr. Bradshaw advises, “Stability is key for cats; sudden changes can cause stress.” The friend’s return doesn’t negate Bread’s new life, and her insistence overlooks his adjustment.

The adopter could offer a calm discussion, sharing vet records to affirm Bread’s happy home, while suggesting the friend adopt a new pet. Clear boundaries, paired with empathy for her loss, could soothe tensions.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s community rallied behind the adopter, claws out for Bread’s well-being. They agreed the friend relinquished rights by giving up the cat, emphasizing adoption’s permanence over temporary care.

With witty jabs like “you belong to Bread now,” commenters stressed the cat’s happy life with Shark. Their takes, brimming with humor, underscored that rehoming isn’t reversible, urging the adopter to stand firm.

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tieflingforpresident − NTA. You said your friend was not planning to return and I assume by extension, they were not planning to retrieve Bread at any time. You adopted her and she adjusted to life with you. She's your cat.

Emmyfishnappa − NTA. Bread has a new home and it wouldn’t be fair to you, Bread, or Shark to go through a change of homes again. Also we must have a Bread and Shark picture for as a chonk tax.

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lisasimpsonfan − NTA It would be too traumatic to Bread to be separated from his happy home with you and Shark. Hopefully both of your cats are 100% inside cats but if they aren't you might want to keep a close eye on them outside if your exfriend gets an idea to take him back.

csiddiqui − NTA but if insistent you could charge a cattery fee. I figure $10 per day is reasonable (cheap actually) for cat care. That is about $10 grand for a three year cat stay.

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seeyou________cowboy − NTA. “Adopt” is distinct from “cat-sit”

krisiepoo − NTA- you adopted the cat. This person doesnt get to demand him back now. Make sure you have vet records and microchips in your name if she decides to pursue this further

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mercmouth1 − NTA,. You belong to Bread now.

postedByDan − NTA. She gave up any claim to the cat when she surrendered it and left the country. Her home is with you now. I wouldn’t say she can’t come visit once she calms down about the situation, but from the way it sounds, letting her visit right now may end up with a kitty hostage situation.

SausageRollCat − NTA. Bread is your cat. Your friend should be happy with how well adjusted Bread is in her new home.

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awnothecorn − NTA. Adoptions aren't temporary. If it was possible for her to come back, she should have set those terms before she left. Someone suggested charging her for the time you took care of her, and I would throw that out there. Also, if you didn't adopt the cat and she had to take the cat to a shelter, there is no way in hell she would be getting the cat back. Her expectations are entirely unreasonable.

This tale of Bread’s cozy life and a friend’s unexpected claim reminds us that pet adoption is a forever commitment. The adopter’s stand for Bread’s happiness sparks questions about loyalty and ownership. Ever faced a pet custody tug-of-war? Share your stories or tips below—how do you navigate bonds with furry friends?

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