AITA for not wanting my sister at my wedding?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A family Christmas turned frosty when a 24-year-old bride-to-be faced her teenage sister’s unrelenting disdain for her fiancé. Picture a cozy living room, twinkling lights on the tree, and a simmering tension that could chill even the warmest holiday cheer. The young woman, caught between love for her sister and loyalty to her future husband, is at a crossroads. Her sister’s vocal dislike, marked by tantrums and biting remarks, has pushed her to consider a drastic step: excluding her sibling from her dream wedding.

This family feud raises eyebrows and questions. How far should loyalty stretch when a sibling’s behavior threatens a special day? Readers can’t help but wonder: is the bride-to-be justified, or is she escalating a petty spat? The drama unfolds with raw emotion, pulling us into a story of love, rivalry, and tough choices that resonate with anyone navigating family ties.

‘AITA for not wanting my sister at my wedding?’

My (24f) sister (17f) and my fiancé (26m) do not get along-and to no fault of my fiancé either. My family has tried doing sit downs, I’ve tried having a one on one with her to see if he’s done something to personally offend her, but nope. She just says she personally doesn’t like him.

Unfortunately she’s very vocal about it-constantly mentioning how annoying he is and how much she dislikes being around him. It came to head this Christmas season when me and my fiancé mentioned wanting to spend Christmas Eve and all of Christmas Day with my family because his family (who we usually spend Christmas Eve/morning with) would be out of town.

My sister threw a complete fit which ended in her saying that if he was there Christmas morning, she would not be opening gifts with him present and how she’d be miserable. She even yelled at him about how “he’s not even family so why is he even invited”.

Me and my sister usually have a decent relationship, of course we bicker and fight like most siblings do on occasion, but for the most part we’re pretty friendly with each other, so of course her attitude towards my fiancé is very strange to me. But at the end of the day she hasn’t given me a valid reason for disliking him so strongly and honestly I’m tired of it and it’s starting to get annoying.

My mom and I were chatting on the phone and the subject of Christmas and my sister’s dislike for my fiancé came up and i mentioned that since she hates him so much that I wouldn’t want her at my wedding. My mom thought I was taking it too far.

But I see it as I wouldn’t want someone who hates me at our wedding, so why would i put my fiancé through having someone who hates him at our wedding?. My mom and dad think im overreacting, but I don’t think I am-aita?

Family gatherings can feel like tightrope walks, especially when a sibling’s hostility throws everyone off balance. The bride-to-be’s dilemma highlights a clash of loyalties—sibling bonds versus romantic commitment. Her sister’s refusal to explain her dislike for the fiancé creates a murky situation, leaving room for speculation about jealousy or unspoken grievances. Psychologically, this could stem from a teenager’s struggle with shifting family dynamics, as the older sister’s engagement reshapes their bond.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Conflict is inevitable, but how we manage it defines our relationships” (Gottman Institute). Here, the sister’s outbursts signal a need for boundaries, not indulgence. Her behavior, unchecked, risks escalating at the wedding, a day meant for celebration, not drama. Statistically, sibling rivalry often peaks during major life transitions, with 45% of young adults reporting tension during family changes (Journal of Family Psychology).

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The broader issue is navigating family roles during milestones. The bride-to-be must balance her sister’s feelings with her fiancé’s comfort. A neutral approach—setting clear expectations for civility—could defuse tension. Family therapy might uncover the sister’s motives, but if she refuses to engage, the bride’s boundary-setting is reasonable. Advice? Have a candid talk, emphasizing mutual respect, and consider a mediator if discussions stall.

Ultimately, the bride should prioritize her wedding’s harmony. If the sister can’t commit to civility, excluding her might be the kindest cut for all involved. It’s not about punishment but protecting a milestone from predictable chaos.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s hot takes are as spicy as a holiday punch spiked with drama. Here’s what the community had to say:

Soft-Worldliness-466 − NTA but is she like this with anyone else? Cause the Christmas reaction is pretty strange

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BKStephens − If your sister is normally an otherwise rational person with regard to relationships, I'd be asking what's causing her to be irrational in this regard. Is there any chance your fiancé may have done something, inadvertently or not, to cause her dislike?. If she doesn't come clean, you have nothing to go on, so NTA.

sparkledotcom − NTA. I think you need to have a conversation with her about what she expects. She is old enough that she needs to learn that putting up with people you dislike is part of being an adult. She doesn’t have to like your fiancé but she has to be polite if she wants to be a part of family events.

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If she has a good reason to dislike him she should speak up before your wedding, or shut up about it forever. Only a spoiled child expects everyone else to make their plans around her preferences.

crystallz2000 − NTA. But I would tell your sister yourself. 'Listen, I know you don't like X, but I'm marrying him. He's going to be at every birthday, every holiday, etc. When we have kids together, they'll be even more events. I don't care if you don't like him, but if you can't be polite our relationship will be destroyed by this. You won't be there for our wedding.

You won't be there to see our children. You won't be there for my birthday or our anniversaries. So, you need to decide if you dislike him more than you care about me, then tell me, so I can prepare myself mentally to have a very low contact relationship with you.' Tell her not to give you your answer yet, and to think about it. If she says she can't, then let her know she isn't welcome at the wedding.

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Ducky818 − If your parents think you are overreacting, how do they propose to keep your sister from misbehaving and causing a scene? She may not like him but she needs to be civil. I wonder if she isn't jealous of him since he now commands your attention and she may feel she is getting less attention. Or maybe she is just being a bratty teenager.

[Reddit User] − My sister threw a complete fit which ended in her saying that if he was there Christmas morning, she would not be opening gifts with him present and how she’d be miserable. I couldn't help but laugh at this. 'If you don't do what I want I'll make you sorry by -checks notes- not enjoying my presents!' 😂. I'll go with not enough info, I think you need to get to the bottom of this dislike.

wooftoot − I almost don’t wanna go there, but what if it’s a more sinister reason she doesn’t like your fiancé? Do you think he did something to her that was creepy in any way? i don’t wanna call you an a**hole but i certainly don’t think your sister is either

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Snippykins − There has to be an underlying reason for her dislike of him . She needs to just come out and say why she hates him so much and her saying she just does is no excuse there’s a reason!!

katelynmakenna − NTA. My sister has been exactly the same way. She would consistently pick fights with my boyfriends, but most recently she’s turned to hating my moms boyfriend.. The reason? She’s jealous. She’s jealous that my mom is getting attention from someone else and isn’t at her beck and call anymore.

She was jealous that her older sister (me) was spending more time out of the house and not with her. She’s jealous that it isn’t all about her anymore. My sister has been given whatever she wants her entire life because my mom didn’t want to deal with my sisters outbursts if she said no.

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She was trained to think that she can act however she wants and people will still give her whatever she wants. It sounds like your sister is the same. She’s jealous and acting out because she knows that she can get away with it (Example A: your parents saying you’re overreacting for not tolerating her behaviour).

If you let her come to your wedding, it would only keep enabling her to stay in this mindset of “I can act however/say whatever I want and no repercussions will come to me”. STAND. YOUR. GROUND. Speaking from experience, if she keeps getting everything she WANTS, you won’t ever get what you NEED from her.

ParsimoniousSalad − She's old enough to be held accountable for her behavior, and she's not acting mature enough to be invited. My guess is she feels like she's losing you or is jealous is some weird way - that her reaction to him is about her relationship with you. Before it slides down into NC, you might consider family therapy for you and her to get it out. NTA

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These opinions range from calling out potential jealousy to urging deeper investigation into the sister’s motives. But do they capture the full picture, or are they just armchair detectives tossing theories into the Reddit void?

This tale of sibling strife and wedding woes leaves us pondering: where’s the line between family loyalty and personal boundaries? The bride-to-be’s choice to protect her fiancé’s peace is bold, but is it fair? Weddings amplify emotions, and this story shows how quickly love can tangle with resentment. What would you do if your sibling threatened your big day’s joy? Share your thoughts—have you faced a similar family clash, and how did you navigate it?

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