AITA for suggesting that my parents move out of the house?

A sprawling 7-bedroom house, a gift from a late grandfather, became a sanctuary for a 23-year-old man and his bustling family of eight siblings. But harmony cracked when his parents, expecting their ninth child, demanded he surrender his master suite and chip in more for bills, despite living rent-free.

His bold suggestion that they find another home if they need space sparked cries of ingratitude, leaving the air thick with tension. This tale of ownership and family duty pulls readers into a clash of boundaries and expectations.

‘AITA for suggesting that my parents move out of the house?’

I am the oldest of my parents' 8 children (All 3-16 years old - I am 23). My biological father died 2 months after I was born and my father (stepfather) has been present in my life since I was 3 years old. The house I currently live in belonged to my paternal grandfather who, when he died, as he had no wife and children (my biological father was an only child), made me the only heir of his things. He passed away when I was 15.

As the house was quite big (7be/4ba), my parents talked to me about our family moving there, as it would be cheaper and accommodate everyone. The only thing I wanted was the master suite for myself and it actually became my bedroom.. Currently, my mother is 6 months pregnant again.. I work and earn a good salary. I don't pay the house bills, but I help with the groceries.

This month I started having complaints from my parents saying that I should help more with my younger brothers (I always argue that I'm not their father and that it's their responsibility). As they are so financially tight and started to charge me to pay some bills, because they were not able to and I started to pay some, but not as they wanted.

I had my limit when they suggested I move into their room as they would need space for the new baby and they pay most of the bills so they should have the biggest room. I told them they can pay most bills, but they don't pay a dime on a huge house and it's only in my name. And if they want more space for their ninth child,

I suggest they move to another house, because I am the owner of the house and I won't give up my comfort because they don't stop having children. They started calling me an ungrateful son and that they raised me to be empathetic and kind, but I am showing myself to be a cold and extremely selfish person who threatens their own parents to take them out of the house for not agreeing with a suggestion.

I talked to my maternal grandmother, she said that she understands my side, but that I may have been very hard on them, especially since they were my parents. They're not talking to me properly btw.. AITA?.  Not US Obviously I'm not able to support the house on my own, but it's a great house for rent and only with it I could rent a smaller house and live on that money alone.

The fees that are yearly here, my grandfather left a responsible accountant to pay that for me with some money left for this, so no, they don't put money in the house besides bills and any things that break. It's not forever, but my grandfather protected me financially until I at least had the capacity and maturity to do so.

Owning a home at 23 is a rare gift, but it comes with tough calls. The man’s suggestion that his parents move out reflects frustration with their escalating demands—more space, more money—while living rent-free in his inherited house. Their expectation that he parent his siblings or give up his room crosses a line.

Large families often strain resources. A 2023 Pew Research study notes 30% of multi-child households face financial stress, especially with unplanned pregnancies (source). The parents’ ninth child amplifies this, unfairly burdening the homeowner.

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Dr. John Gottman, a family dynamics expert, says, “Boundaries in families prevent resentment; without them, entitlement festers” (source). The man’s stance protects his autonomy, but his delivery may have stung. A calm discussion setting clear terms—rent-free living in exchange for bills—could reset expectations.

He should propose a timeline for their transition to a new home, offering temporary support, like covering moving costs. Locking in his boundaries now prevents future overreach.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s takes are as lively as a full house—here’s what the community tossed into the fray:

CrystalQueen3000 - NTA. They’ve got some nerve even asking that of you. It blows my mind when people pop out almost an entire football teams worth of kids and then make it other peoples problem.

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uwe0x123 - NTA - if your parents can't afford to house and feed their 9 children on their own, then they should stop having kids. Their demands are also presumptuous -- they will soon take over the house and what about if you want to get married and have kids of your own?

I would sit down with them and establish a timeline of how they intend to manage their lives independent of you and make it clear that you will not be financially responsible for them, nor will you parent your siblings or give up your bedroom.

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kittycuteikus - NTA. Their baby, their problem. I do think it's good for you to pay your share of groceries and utilities. Beyond that, nope. And you know it will just get worse. Soon they'll be bothering you for money to feed, clothe, and educate their kids. Put your foot down. You're already generously letting them stay rent free. If they don't like the situation, they can leave. So, no, you aren't an A. Not at all.

Sunny_Hill_1 - NTA. That's the time when 'My house, my rules' plays out in the child's favor. And you are right, if they don't pay anything for housing and still struggle with bills, maybe they should actually rethink having more children.

Cheezslap - NTA. It's more than fair that they get to stay there rent free in exchange for paying bills. You said your only real line was that you get the master and don't have to parent the kids, which is reasonable--it's your f**king house and they're not your kids. You're 23; live your life and do you.

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I definitely have objections to them asking you for money AT ALL, considering they're making up 90% of every charge there and not paying rent. They're trying to squeeze you; hold your line and don't let them.

MissSuzieSunshine - NTA First of all, they are THEIR children, not yours so you have NO obligation to parent them. (when I was growing up I had a friend who was 14, like me, and was 'in charge' of the 4 kids under her ages 3 - 11 - I thought that was crazy !). Secondly, its YOUR house. They should appreciate your kindness in allowing them ALL to live there RENT FREE.

Thirdly, if they want the Master bedroom, then they can rent a house and have the Master bedroom. The stipulation for them moving in was that you get the Master Bedroom. And they agreed to that. Lastly The only bills you should be paying are those pertaining only to you.

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You should not have to pay for any shared bills, since what you use in utilities is a miniscule amount in comparison to what the rest of the family uses, for which your parents are responsible. Whether they are/were your parents or not, it is still your house and they agreed to the stipulations when they moved in. If they no longer agree to them, they are welcome to move elsewhere. Thats not you being hard on them, thats you setting boundries so as to not be trampled.

[Reddit User] - NTA. This house is yours. Your mom is extremely lucky she can live in such a big house without having to pay rent. Asking for more is totally delusional of her.

RDT64 - NTA. It looks like your parents are starting to see themselves as entitled to your house and if you don't establish needed boundaries they will escalate. To be blunt, your parents need to understand and appreciate their place in *your* house, before it gets out of hand.

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sofiesophie - nta, yeah you were a bit harsh but it's understandable why. you let them live in a big house for basically nothing, they can't expect freebies edit: just saw the 8 kids part why are they having kids if they don't have enough room and money

holisarcasm - NTA. They don't get to expect freebies out of other because they refused to stop having kids. They choose to have kids, they can move out and pay for all of them.

From cheers for holding ground to calls for clearer boundaries, these opinions spark debate. Do they miss the emotional weight of family loyalty?

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This story unearths the messy clash of gratitude, duty, and ownership in a crowded family home. The man’s suggestion to move out defends his rights but strains ties with his parents, who lean hard on his generosity. Can he uphold his boundaries without fracturing family? What would you do if your home became a battleground for family demands? Drop your thoughts below—let’s unpack this tangled web of kinship and control!

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