AITA for contributing money to my niece’s college fund?

Imagine a family dinner, laughter mingling with the clink of glasses, where a man beams with pride over his two-year-old niece’s future. He quietly tucks away $25 a month for her college fund, a small act of love born from his own tough upbringing. But when his girlfriend catches wind of this during a budget chat for their upcoming move-in, sparks fly—she wants that cash for “their” dreams, not his niece’s.

This Reddit tale brews a clash of values, pitting personal generosity against couple goals. The man’s bond with his half-brother and niece runs deep, but his girlfriend’s push to redirect his money stirs tension. Was he wrong to stand firm on his contributions, or is she missing the heart of his commitment? Let’s unpack this financial feud.

‘AITA for contributing money to my niece’s college fund?’

My (half-) brother \[40M\] and I are very close. We grew up in separate homes but both complicated abusive situations. We share a father. As adults we got into contact again and have been inseparable. He’s one of the most important people in my life.

My brother grew up very lower class. I grew up middle class and my maternal grandparents set aside a small college fund for me. The difference this money made in my life vs. my brothers is very measurable.

My niece was born about 2 years ago. When she was born, her grandmother and I set up a bank account which will be handed over when she turns 18. I contribute 25 bucks monthly to the fund and for her birthdays I dropped a couple hundred (with the idea that, right now, gifts make little sense, but when she gets older she’ll probably want a skateboard or a dress or a bike or something, so I might have less money available).

My girlfriend and I started dating a little bit after my niece was born. We’re coming up on our second anniversary. We're going to move in together soon. We know about each other’s finances broadly speaking (income, bills, etc) but not in detail. Because we’re moving in together we shared our budgets to make sure we’re on the same page and discuss how bills will work etc.

My girlfriend wasn’t very happy to learn I send “so much” money to my niece’s college fund. She argued that even though it was 25 dollars, that amounts to thousands over her lifetime (which is… literally the point) that we could use for a down payment on a home or a nice vacation, and that I should prioritize “us” first.

My niece is very important to me. She will lead a better life than my brother and I did, and I’m a very active part of her life (I babysit, am over weekly, etc.) and intend for that trend to continue – and I want to financially contribute a small amount.

My reasoning is that 25 bucks a month is a restaurant meal. Her reasoning is that my brother is significantly better off than I am (he is currently making a lot of money, but he’s also 13 years my senior and we work in the same field, and I make more than enough to live comfortably right now anyway) and that he’s selfish for expecting family to contribute to a college fund.

For transparency: after thanking me and his mother for the college fund, my brother (and his wife) explicitly said that they had also been planning a college fund and would be contributing themselves, and that myself and his mother could stop contributing at any time, for whatever reason.

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In other words, my brother expects nothing. I do this because I want to. While my brother is better off than I, I make good money and life comfortably. The 25 bucks are not a big deal in my monthly budget. My girlfriend insists this money should go towards the two of us and our future. She suggests I should contribute a couple of hundred on a yearly basis instead.. AITA?

This college fund spat reveals a classic relationship hurdle: aligning values when money’s involved. The man’s $25 monthly contribution to his niece’s future reflects a selfless commitment to family, rooted in his and his brother’s divergent pasts. His girlfriend’s objection, framing it as a drain on “their” future, hints at a control issue rather than a practical concern, especially since the amount is modest.

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Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, notes in 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great (Psychology Today), “Financial disagreements often mask deeper value conflicts; open dialogue is key to alignment.” Studies show 35% of couples clash over discretionary spending, with family support often a flashpoint (Journal of Family and Economic Issues). The girlfriend’s suggestion to cut contributions to a yearly lump sum—barely different from $300 annually—signals less about finances and more about influence.

The man’s transparency about his budget and his brother’s non-expectation strengthens his stance. A constructive path forward involves a calm discussion with his girlfriend about shared goals while affirming his niece’s priority. Setting a joint budget with room for personal spending can ease tensions, ensuring both feel heard without sacrificing core values.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit gang brought their A-game, serving up a zesty mix of support and shade. Here’s the raw scoop:

MsGinErso − NTA and to be honest your girlfriend sounds pretty selfish. I would also question whether your values align with someone who so spectacularly fails to grasp why supporting family might be important to you. In addition, unless you are seriously committed in a relationship she has no right to tell you what to do with your own money. Honestly mate, your girlfriend kind of sucks.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Does she know what math is? 25\*12 is 300 bucks a year. That IS 'a couple of hundred on a yearly basis'.. Weird woman.

CescaPercie7 − NTA such a lovely, lovely gesture. Your Niece is lucky to have a caring, kind relative in her life. $25 won't be missed but will add up to a sum which will help her at College age.

Nolan-358 − NTA. If she wants to dictate how you spend your money to the point $25 is not ok then you need to take a long hard look at your relationship with this person. Joint financials are all well and good but each person still needs a little money of their own. If that’s how you choose to spend a small amount of your extra money I think it commendable.

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WallabyInTraining − NTA. And your GF is the a**hole for already dictating how you can spend your money. I guess she already thinks it's 'our' money?. I do this because I want to.

And there you go. That's all there is to it. You're not putting yourself in debt over this. You're not spending it on drugs or on an ex-GF. This is a perfectly good way to spend money.. And even if you were spending it on your vintage Barbie collection, still your money.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your girlfriend sucks for thinking $25 a month is better spent getting an entree at Chili’s than it is in a college savings account for your niece. But just curious, are you also putting money aside for a down payment on a house or other big purchases?

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Aviendha3711 − So she’s against £25 a month (£300 a year), but suggests a couple of hundred a year instead?!. That’s minimal difference.. 🚩This is a control issue 🚩. I think it’s admirable that you are will to contribute to your nieces future, and every little will help..

I also think it’s great that your brother and his wife are making no demands.. The only AH here, unfortunately, is your girlfriend.. If you are happy to contribute that amount, and it cause you no hardship. Then crack on! Personally I’d either put her in her place, or move on... this is only the beginning, and likely to only get worse.

burneracct21 − NTA by a long shot.... BUT, you need to review your girlfriend’s ideas as she doesn’t sound like a good long term partner.

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Taccou − NTA it's your money and you can so whatever you want with it.

[Reddit User] − NTA - your gf acts very selfish to be honest.

Redditors cheered the man’s generosity, torching the girlfriend’s logic as selfish and controlling. From math roasts to red-flag warnings, the comments sizzle with conviction. But do these spicy takes brew the full picture, or just stir the pot?

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This college fund clash shows how money can spark battles over heart and priorities. The man’s small gesture for his niece is a big stand for family, one his girlfriend struggles to grasp. A candid talk could bridge their gap, balancing love and dreams. How do you juggle family support with relationship goals? What would you do in this spot? Drop your thoughts below!

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