AITA for not sharing my food with our child?

Picture this: after a soul-crushing day at work, a mom sneaks home with a bag of her favorite fries, craving a quiet moment in bed. But her 4-year-old, with the radar of a food-obsessed hawk, bursts in, demanding a share. Usually, she’d hand over a fry with a smile, but tonight, she says no, sparking a tantrum and a husband’s scolding. The Reddit tale of a mom’s stand for a solo meal pulls us into a relatable parenting pickle.

The drama unfolds as her daughter wails, her husband accuses her of selfishness, and she’s left crying in the bathroom, questioning her mom credentials. The Reddit crowd dives in, tossing out spicy takes on boundaries and toddler entitlement. It’s a story of fries, feelings, and family friction, where a simple “no” ignites a household showdown.

‘AITA for not sharing my food with our child?’

My husband and I have a 4 year old. I love her to pieces, she’s my lil potato, but every parent knows the struggle of having to share everything you eat with your kid. Whenever she sees me eating, she wants some. 99.9% of the time I share with her because it’s not a huge deal.

Today I had an awful day at work, so I picked up some food from my favorite restaurant on the way home. I just wanted to lay down and enjoy my fries. I try to hide it but kiddo barges into the room and wants my food. This time I didn’t feel like sharing with her, so I told her no.

Kiddo gets increasingly upset, starts crying and throwing a tantrum, but I just tell her that mommy had a rough day and she can eat one of her snacks in the cupboard if she’s hungry (she’d already eaten dinner), and try to explain that people don’t always have to share with her. I remain totally calm and try to leave the room.

Husband comes in and gets mad that I’m not sharing and causing our kid to have a meltdown. I’m like seriously? Can I just enjoy my favorite food in peace after a rough day? Apparently not and I’m an a**hole for not sharing! :/

Long story short, kid ends up getting my fries and I end up crying in the bathroom feeling like an awful mom for being angry about it. My husband says that it’s “not a big deal to share” and says I’m an a**hole for not sharing. He told me that kids are better at sharing than I am.

I told him that I deserve to enjoy one meal by myself in the comfort of my bed after having a godawful day and we don’t want to teach our daughter that she gets whatever she wants when she wants it.

So now we’re both angry at each other.. AITA here?  ETA: My husband and daughter had already eaten right before I came home. I asked my husband to keep our daughter out of the bedroom but she got in anyways.

Saying “no” to a child can feel like defusing a tiny, emotional bomb. This mom, drained from a brutal workday, just wanted a moment with her fries, but her 4-year-old’s tantrum and her husband’s criticism turned it into a battle. She’s trying to teach boundaries, while he sees sharing as a no-brainer. Their clash reveals a deeper divide: how to balance personal needs with parenting duties without raising an entitled kid.

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This scenario mirrors broader parenting challenges. A 2021 study in Journal of Child and Family Studies found that 70% of parents struggle with setting boundaries due to guilt or partner disagreements (springer). Here, the mom’s refusal was less about fries and more about reclaiming a sliver of self after a tough day. Her husband’s push to share reinforces the daughter’s expectation to always get her way.

Dr. Becky Kennedy, a parenting expert, says, “Teaching kids to hear ‘no’ builds resilience and respect for others’ boundaries” (goodinside). Applied here, the mom’s stand was a lesson in limits, but her husband’s intervention undermined it, rewarding the tantrum. Consistency is key—parents must align on when “no” sticks.

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For solutions, the mom could calmly explain her needs to her daughter post-tantrum, like, “Mommy needs her food sometimes, just like you have your snacks.” A united front with her husband, perhaps through a quick pre-dinner chat, could prevent mixed signals. Setting clear snack times for the child might also curb demands.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit squad brought their A-game, serving up a buffet of support and shade for this mom’s fry fiasco. It’s like a virtual potluck where everyone’s got a spicy opinion and no one’s shy about sharing. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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likeitsnotyourjob − NTA - kids need to learn limits and boundaries and she is by far old enough to understand. Your husband taught her that throwing a tantrum gets her whatever she wants... good luck with that.

Kids cry and get upset, doesn't mean you do anything to quiet them down and keep the peace. It means you teach them to manage their emotions and learn empathy.  Edited to say: Thank you for the silver! My first award ever and so close to my first cake day... and now my actual day is made!

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paul_rudds_drag_race − NTA. Your husband is an A H for that comment. I think 4 is old enough to learn how to be told no. It’s ok to want one meal to yourself. Of course it would’ve been different if she hadn’t eaten.

IridianRaingem − NTA for wanting something to yourself, but you’re raising a child who expects to get her way. If she doesn’t, she throws a tantrum until she does. And dad is willing to give in and guilt you until you do the same.  For your sanity and the sake of not raising an a**hole, you need to teach her NO and mean it.

Sharing is caring. But people don’t always have to share and she needs to learn that she can ask but people are allowed to say no and she has to accept that as the answer and move on.. Edit: Go watch some Nanny 911. That’s what happens when kids aren’t taught NO.

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whitmoww − I’m confused. Why does she always eat your food? Does your husband give her his food? There were snacks meant for her in the cupboard, I’m assuming she wasn’t starving.  What happens when she decides she wants someone else’s food?

A stranger perhaps? Will it be appropriate then? Entitled children are the worst. And not for nothing, but if a kid learns they can have whatever they want just by having a meltdown, goodluck with that horror show.. NTA

booeychuk − NTA. I hide snack from my kids. Kids also need to learn that just because they want something, doesn't mean they get it.

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toearishuman − NTA Kids need to learn 'no'. Some things are for adults - what if it was crazy spicy or something?  You are still a person - you're more than just a Mum. You don't have to share everything with your kid.. Sounds like someone doesn't want to deal with tantrums...

reignofash − NTA I have a 6 year old so I totally understand. Your husband needs to grow a back bone and not give in to a child throwing a tantrum. That will teach them they can get whatever they want if they cry.

egmono − NTA. You're raising a future adult, not a perpetual child. If anyone is the a**hole, its your husband for not running interference so you could transition from your frustrating day so your child could enjoy your [best/loving/calm] attention.

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Immediate-Theme − NTA. “No, you already had your dinner. This is mine” doesn’t make you a jerk.. “Maybe we could do burgers for dinner next week.”

[Reddit User] − NTA. Well done to your husband for teaching your kid that she’ll get what she wants if she kicks up enough and for not having sympathy for you having a s**tty day.

These Redditors back the mom’s right to a solo meal, slamming the husband for caving to a tantrum. Some see a future entitled kid; others urge sticking to “no.” But do these hot takes nail the parenting struggle, or are they just tossing fuel on the fire?

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This mom’s quest for a quiet bite unveils the messy truth of parenting: sometimes, you just need a moment, but kids and spouses don’t always get the memo. Her stand against sharing fries was a bid for self-care, but it sparked guilt and conflict. Teaching kids boundaries while juggling personal needs is no easy feat. How would you handle a tantrum over fries after a rough day? Share your stories and tips below.

 

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