AITA for telling my brother what I think of his wife?

Picture a young dad, juggling sippy cups and superhero bedtimes, perfectly content raising his 5-year-old solo. At 23, he’s found his groove, but his sister-in-law can’t stop playing matchmaker, convinced he’s robbing his kid of a “proper” family. Her relentless prodding—culminating in secretly signing him up for dating sites—pushes him to snap, calling her out in a fiery phone call with his brother. Now, the family’s in a standoff, with hurt feelings and harsh words lingering.

This Reddit drama, shared by a first-time poster, dives into the messy clash of personal choice and family meddling. The dad’s fierce defense of his independence sparks a shouting match, leaving us wondering: was his outburst justified, or did he cross a line? Let’s unpack this tale of boundaries and blowups.

‘AITA for telling my brother what I think of his wife?’

To keep it brief, I'm a single dad. Idk what I allowed to say here per the rules, but let's just say my kids mum isn't at all a fit mother and I have full custody. I'm pretty young (23, kid is 5) but I really think becoming a parent was the best thing that's happened to me and I wouldn't change a thing. I'm *happy* being a single parent.

My brother and, especially, his wife don't seem to grasp this. Since I took full custody she's been asking me non-stop when I'm going to 'get back out there' and trying to set me up with her friends. I've told her multiple times that I'm not interested in dating again right now, and have given her my whole list of reasons as to why.

To begin with she countered them with 'oh but you're so young, you should date while you can!!' type b**lshit. Then she started telling me I was selfish and that I'm depriving my kid of a stable two-parent home for my own 'b**lshit reasons'. That, I took offence to, because I provide a stable home for my kid by myself and don't need another person to be able to do that.

Anyway, things peaked last month when I found out my sister in law had been signing me up for dating sites and talking to people on my behalf and trying to set up dates. That was the straw that broke the camel's back for me, and I kinda flipped out and called my brother and told him that I think his wife is an inconsiderate b**ch,

that she needs to learn some respect for other people and that I don't want her around me or my kid again for the foreseeable future. He told me that I'm being selfish, she's just trying to help me be a better parent, and that I'm ungrateful.

It ended in us basically having a shouting match on the phone and we haven't spoken since. I can totally see their side that she was trying to help/do a nice thing but I repeatedly told her no and she didn't listen, so I think I was justified. Was I, or is my brother right that I'm a raging ungrateful douchebag?

This single dad’s clash with his sister-in-law brews a classic case of boundary overstepping. Her insistence on fixing his “single” status, despite his clear refusals, ignores his autonomy as a parent and person. Signing him up for dating sites without consent? That’s not help—it’s a privacy invasion with a side of judgment.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes in What Makes Love Last? (American Psychological Association), “Respecting boundaries is key to healthy family dynamics; unsolicited interference often breeds resentment.” The sister-in-law’s actions, from dismissing the dad’s contentment to implying he’s failing his child, reflect a misguided belief that two-parent homes are inherently superior. Yet, studies show single-parent households can thrive, with 65% of children in such homes reporting strong emotional stability when supported well (Child Development Journal).

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The dad’s heated outburst, while understandable, escalated the conflict. A calmer approach, like firmly restating his stance to his brother, might have kept the conversation productive. Moving forward, setting clear boundaries—perhaps a direct talk with both brother and sister-in-law—can prevent future meddling. He could also share resources on single parenting to shift their perspective, fostering respect without burning bridges.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew rolled up with pitchforks and empathy, serving a hot platter of takes. Here’s the raw scoop:

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[Reddit User] − NTA, your love life is none of her business. i’m angry just reading this, if I was in your position OP I would have said a lot more mean things

LifeExplorer64 − NTA she completely crossed the line here and meddling in your life like that is just wrong. You arent doing your child a disservice by not dating

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anglerfishtacos − Holy s**t, NTA. Yeah, you probably shouldn’t have called his wife a b**ch. That may have been a bit much. But she stomped over some major boundaries by setting up dating profiles for you. That is way out of line and I would be furious too. It’s up to you 100% if and when you want to start dating again. That isn’t her call to make.

DClawdude − NTA. Not only would she not shut up about something that isn’t her business, she then crossed another line by signing you up on the sites, I presume she is your pics for it, without your permission. This is just a number of disgusting boundary violations and being nice obviously hasn’t worked.

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Also, I don’t know how she expects it to go if you actually go on a date with one of these women, and say, “it wasn’t me that’s been talking to you all this time, it’s my sister-in-law.” I think a lot of people would be made uncomfortable by that. So it’s not like these dates are likely to go well, even if there is actually someone you would click with.

Your brother is also an a**hole for not recognizing the crazy boundary violations his wife is doing, and for daring to call you ungrateful for something you don’t want her to do that affects your personal privacy. Also wow, saying you're being an ass to your child of not providing a two parent home is gross too.. People have validly gone no contact with family over less.

keeperofthecookies − NTA she seems to have some chip in her shoulder that a dad without a mom isn’t good enough. Very ridiculous. You’re not depriving your child anything. Your teaching them about life and priorities.

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Ramguy2014 − NTA, although I wonder if you think their love life is getting a bit stale? Surely they’d appreciate it if you signed them up for some swinger sites, right?

Krazyrobus − NTA. She and your brother should assist in being the 'village' around your daughter if they want to help. Setting you up with online dating which is a cesspool of s**t and all the instability it brings is the worst way of helping you daughter.

juliabowe − NTA, she wasn't being 'nice' she was intrusive on a creepy level. Pretty sure it's illegal to use someone else's identity to set up a profile behind their back, no matter how good your intentions are.

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pooppalais − It sounds like your brother and sister in law dont even have children of their own so who the f**k does she think she is giving child rearing advice?

Mors_Ultimaa − I’m gonna go against the grain a little here and say ESH. Her to a further extent by FAR, but you calling your brothers wife a b**ch is inconsiderate and forced your brother to take a strong side. I can only speculate,

but I’m sure the fight with your brother wouldn’t have even happened had you calmly expressed how across the line she acted. Even if he does still try to defend her, you can still tell them to stay out of your life without calling his wife a b**ch.. Did she deserve it? Yeah probably. But you sir, are still an a**hole.

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Redditors mostly rallied behind the dad, slamming the sister-in-law’s intrusive antics as a major boundary foul. Some raised eyebrows at his choice of words, but the consensus? His life, his rules. These spicy opinions light up the debate, but do they capture the full flavor of this family feud?

This single dad’s showdown with his sister-in-law proves how fast good intentions can sour when boundaries are ignored. His fierce stand for his independence is relatable, but the fallout shows words can cut deep. A direct, calm reset of expectations could mend this family rift. Have you ever had to shut down unwanted meddling? How would you handle this sticky situation? Share your thoughts below!

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