[UPDATE] AITAH letting my ex best friend to go homeless with her new born baby?

What unfolds when a once-close friendship crumbles under jealousy, only for the estranged party to return in crisis with a newborn in tow, pleading for free shelter and cash? A savvy property owner in a tight-knit small town navigated this messy reunion after her ex-best friend ghosted her for nearly a year, resurfacing broke and desperate.

The coffee meetup unpacked months of drama, from a secretive affair with a much older man to eviction and addiction-fueled debt. Generous offers of renewed friendship clashed with bold demands for handouts, exposing a one-sided dynamic that forced tough boundaries and a clean break for self-care.

‘[UPDATE] AITAH letting my ex best friend to go homeless with her new born baby?’

The initial reconnection revealed motives behind the long silence.

Jess(24) had the baby, and after 10 months of no contact, she reached out. We went for coffee, and she updated me what happened in those 10 months, and admitted...

The 70 year old baby daddy is now 71 and he asked not to be on the birth certificate and he’s not, he hid the baby from his family (3...

She got kicked out of his apartment and living with her abusive mother, where she desperately wanna move out. The reason why she reached out is due to she ran...

She asked if she could stay at one of my rental properties for free or if she can borrow some money from me. It was a pretty easy decision for...

However, I am still willing to be friends and work on our friendship. She was pretty upset about it and said that since I am so well off I should...

Well, since that conversation I invited her to have lunch and coffee a few times. And stop paying for things and driving her around like I did before.. She pretty...

EDIT: We live in a very small town on the east coast, so everyone is in everyone else’s business (since we probably know their parents or even grandparents).

Real estate here is not as crazy as the mainland we can purchase a relatively new townhouse for $250k, and a Mini house for $200k..

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The final escalation centered on a discounted rental demand.

Final update: It's been almost a month since my last update, and this will be my final one. I'm mentally and physically drained from dealing with Jess, and it’s become...

Our communication has dwindled from very little to almost none. I've stopped asking how she's doing or if she needs help because it feels like a one-way street.

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Jess reached out about a week ago after seeing my rental listing on Facebook, asking if she could rent my property for a quarter of the original asking price. I...

She was quite upset, claiming I "promised" her that if she paid rent, I’d let her stay in my unit. She explained that she makes $830 bi-weekly, can't afford my...

I explained that I can't accept her offer of a quarter of the rent because the full asking price doesn’t even cover my mortgage. I also told her that I...

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I’ve come to realize that Jess only wants handouts from people and doesn’t want any responsibility. She’s acting like a leach, taking what she can without giving anything in return.

Despite this, I offered again to help her find a more affordable place that’s within her budget, asking for some basic information to assist her better. She ignored my messages.

Today, I found out that the father of Jess’s baby is being pressured by his adult children, who have threatened to disown him if she moves in with him again,...

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I'm exhausted and done with this situation. I've tried to help, but it’s time for me to step back and focus on my own well-being. On the bright side, I...

The fallout highlights mismatched expectations in adult friendships post-betrayal. The property owner extended olive branches conditional on mutual effort. Jess sought transactional aid without accountability, straining any rebuilding.

The owner protected assets earned through responsibility. Jess operated from immediate crises fueled by poor choices. Insecurities manifested as jealousy then demands. Dialogue failed when reciprocity vanished.

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Relationship coach Dr. Alexandra Solomon notes in Loving Bravely that “Healthy bonds require aligned values on give-and-take” (2019). This imbalance turned potential friendship into exploitation, justifying withdrawal for self-preservation.

Document boundaries in writing for future asks. Redirect to social services for sustainable aid. Cultivate reciprocal ties. Reflect on red flags earlier. These safeguard generosity without enabling.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Social media blasted the ex-friend’s entitlement while praising the owner’s stance. Advice centered on legal paternity and cutting ties.

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Consensus slammed Jess’s choices and urged child support pursuit. Handouts drew universal rejection.

dheffe01 − NTA, its called child support for a reason she needs to get it

Carolinamama2015 − NTA, she has made her choices, just cause she let the babies father off the hook( for truly no good reason) it's not anyone else's job to step...

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She has options. She could've put him on the birth certificate She could file for chils support through the courts.

Pretty_Little_Mind − She’s a fool if she’s doesn’t file for child support and establishes paternity through the courts. If the man dies while her child is a minor, I would...

Mockery of Jess’s decisions mixed with calls for accountability. Pity focused on the baby.

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Chaoticgood790 − Imagine Fing an old dude and not securing money. Your friend is a few crayons short and all that. She can get a job like everyone else

MtnMoose307 − So NTA. I can't recall a post on Reddit where one person could make. so. many. stupid. choices.

friendlily − NTA. She doesn't want to be friends. She wants to use you for what you can provide to her. I'd block her and be done with it.

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Or send one last text to her that she needs to sue him for child support. There will be a DNA test and it will prove he's the father. A...

Final pushes emphasized lawsuits and blocking. Skepticism surfaced on story authenticity.

Kat-a-strophy − NTA. But telling her she should sue this guy for child support so her baby gets part of the inheritance when it's daddy dies would be the right...

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Cybermagetx − Shes an i__ot for not putting him on the birth certificate. She needs to go after him for child support. Nta. She did this to herself. I feel...

[Reddit User] − Uh no, you're not an ATM and she needs to go to court for child support Doesn't matter if he doesn't claim the baby. He is leaving...

OmegaPointMG − If I'm her, I'm going after EVERYTHING the baby daddy has.

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ChrisInBliss − NTA. Shes made her choices it seems her entire relationship with you was based on what she could get from you.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You're not putting her out on the streets. She did that all on her own. You're just not stopping it from happening.

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MortonCanDie − Let me ask you how in less than a year someone who's in their early 30s goes to be in their 40s? ?

That_Ol_Cat − This post and the post before it sound like trolling. But hey, this is reddit.

[Reddit User] − She put herself on the streets nta

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Self-inflicted crises do not obligate others to rescue, especially after burned bridges. The landlord modeled healthy limits by offering guidance over bailouts. It proves true friendship demands effort from all sides, not just extraction.

Would you sue for child support from an absentee elder partner? When does helping a friend cross into enabling poor habits?

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