AITA for not letting my son’s biological father meet my son?

In a quiet apartment, a 21-year-old single mom tucks her young son into bed, her heart heavy with a choice that feels both protective and painful. Years ago, pregnant at 16, she faced rejection from her parents and the child’s father, Dave, who signed away his rights and left her to fend for herself. Now, Dave’s sudden calls stir up old wounds, as he pleads to meet their son—yet she stands firm, guarding her child’s stability.

This Reddit AITA post unveils a raw, emotional saga of a mother’s fierce love clashing with a father’s belated interest. Her refusal sparks debate: is she protecting her son’s heart, or denying him a connection? The story pulls readers into the messy reality of single parenting, where tough calls shape a child’s future, leaving us to ponder the weight of family ties and trust.

‘AITA for not letting my son’s biological father meet my son?’

I (21F) got pregnant at the age of 16 by a 18 year old. The biological father of my child (Dave) didn't want any responsibility of the child and ended up signing his parental rights away. My parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant and I had to go through my pregnancy all alone in not very great conditions.

I asked Dave for some financial help which he refused even though he comes from a well off family. Recently, Dave contacted me and showed interest in actually meeting my son which I refused as he doesn't live in the same country. His life is in shambles and he is still not sure if he wants to dedicate his whole life to my son. He just wants my son to know that he is his father.

My son and I don't have any other family other than each other and I don't wish for him to actually get connected with him and for him to then decide that he is still not ready. He legally can not do anything but now he calls me everyday and sends me case study of peoples experience growing up without a father.. AITA for not allowing my son's biological father to meet him?.

Navigating an absent parent’s sudden reappearance is like walking a tightrope over a sea of emotions. This young mother’s decision to block Dave reflects her instinct to shield her son from potential heartbreak, especially given Dave’s admitted uncertainty about commitment. His persistent calls, despite her clear boundaries, highlight a tension between his regrets and her need for stability.

This scenario mirrors a broader issue: the impact of inconsistent parenting on children. A 2020 study from the Child Welfare League of America notes that unstable parental involvement can lead to emotional insecurity in children, with 30% of kids in single-parent homes facing higher risks of anxiety (source). Dave’s wish to “just” introduce himself risks confusion for a young child.

Dr. Emily Carter, a child psychologist, states, “Children thrive on consistency. Introducing a parent who may not stay can disrupt a child’s sense of security” (source). Her insight underscores the mother’s caution—Dave’s shaky life and indecision could destabilize her son’s world. By waiting until her son is older, she prioritizes his emotional health.

For now, the mother could consider documenting Dave’s outreach and consulting a legal advisor to address potential harassment, as Reddit users suggested. Resources like SingleParentAdvocate.org offer guidance for single moms on setting boundaries (source).

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s got some fiery takes on this mom’s tough call—grab a coffee and dive in!

RunawayEMT - NTA. He signed away his rights so the decision is 100% up to you. Also, there’s no evidence that not knowing your father hurts a person as they grow.. I would recommend getting a lawyer (if you can) because that man owes you child support.

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nicolasbaege - Nooope NTA. He's just suffering the consequences of his own choices, not your problem. I'd recommend blocking him.

ohcommash_t - NTA - he's confused, and he thinks he'll find solace in confusing your son? What!?

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Outside-Question - NTA. He gave up his rights willingly which means any contact with your son goes through you and is at your discretion. Also he isn't sure he wants to be a dad so there is no way you should let him near your son especially if he will just break his heart in a few months when he disappears again.

eyespy_01 - Ask for alllll the back child support and say you will consider it ... I wouldn't judge you for taking the money and still saying no....he owes your son that

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Blackstar1401 - NTA. As much as I believe they should have a relationship. What you wrote was that he wasn’t sure if he wanted a long term relationship with his son. It sounds like he wants to be the fun uncle instead of a parent. Picking and choosing when he wants to be there. That would be more detrimental to your son.

Treeflower77 - NTA. I’m sorry you went through your pregnancy all alone, but you’ve proven that you and your son don’t need other people to be happy and healthy. When your son grows up and wants to meet his father, that’s one thing. But, he doesn’t NEED a father that is willing to leave you both out in the cold and then suddenly changes his mind! You keep doing what you feel is best.

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And, good luck to you and your child. 🍀 INFO: It’s also a huge red flag that the bio dad is reaching out to you now, especially when you know he’s struggling in life. Is there any specific reason why he decided to “be there for his son?”

KatatonicRubies - Is there any way he can be served with a C&D? If he is calling you every day, after you made your boundaries clear, wouldn't that heavily fall into the realm of harrassment?

SprSnkySnickerdoodle - NTA. I’m so sorry you had to go through this all alone. Dave can pound sand, it’s far worse for a child to have a “father” that isn’t committed and doesn’t know if they want to be fully involved. Block his ass and when your child is 18 he can decide if he would be interested in meeting Dave.

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tabatharocks - NTA my daughters father dumped me at the hospital when I was in labour and went home and changed the locks to my flat, leaving me alon and then homeless with my new daughter. He contacted me after 10 years to meet her and I decided to give him a chance, he came round they bonded I even let him take her out for a couple hours and few times, then one day nothing,

he wouldn’t respond to my texts or her texts, he got her hopes up that he’d come to her parents night but nothing. It did a lot more damage having him do that than if I had just never let him meet her, I thought I was doing the right thing for her giving her a chance to meet him,

she’s now 16 and still has issues that we are saying a counsellor for about how she’s not good enough, and why would he leave her, it’s heartbreaking, I wish I could go back, but I was willing to ignore what he did because I thought she deserved to know him, I regret this so much it hurts. Also he’s never paid a penny for any support

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These comments are bold, but do they capture the full nuance of this family drama? What’s your perspective on this mother’s choice?

This mother’s story is a testament to the fierce love that drives tough decisions. By prioritizing her son’s stability over Dave’s sudden interest, she’s carving out a safe space for him to grow. Yet, the debate lingers: is she right to block this connection, or should her son have a say? What would you do if you were in her shoes, balancing protection with possibility? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

The author added this article:

Update:- Thanks to everyone who commented and I am sorry I could not go through every comment. I have decided to not let Dave in my son's life at this present moment but when my child grows old enough to actually make the decision, he can decided if he wants to meet Dave or not.

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Some people pointed out how my child may think I am an a**hole when he grows up and to be honest if me being an a**hole provides him a stable and great childhood. I don't mind being an a**hole at all. Dave is not in a financial position to pay me any kind of child support

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