AITA for telling my husband’s mother I don’t want her best friend and her children visiting my home?

A sun-dappled backyard, the sizzle of burgers on the grill, and laughter floating through the air—new homeowners revel in the joy of hosting their first cookout. For one couple, both 29, their dream home became the stage for family gatherings, a milestone they cherished. But when the husband’s mother asked to host her own cookout at their place, a shadow crept in. Her guest list included a troubling figure from the past, threatening the couple’s peace and safety.

The request stirred unease, rooted in years of unsettling encounters with the mother-in-law’s best friend and her daughter. The couple’s firm boundary—excluding these guests—ignited tension, raising questions about loyalty, safety, and the sanctity of one’s home. Would you stand your ground in their shoes, or bend for family harmony?

‘AITA for telling my husband’s mother I don’t want her best friend and her children visiting my home?’

My husband and I are both 29. We just bought out first home in June. We had a few cookouts over the summer and it was amazing. There are only 2 other homeowners in our family and they do their own thing which is fine but we’re happy to be able to host family stuff.

My MiL asked if she could use our house to host a cookout for her and her friends and she said that we could obviously invite people too, it’s just that she would be the one hosting and buying most of the stuff.. Obviously, we said she could. Who would say no to that?

My husband—her son—and I, said she could use the house but we don’t want her best friend or her best friend’s kids coming to the cookout. If I’m being honest, her best friend’s youngest daughters and youngest sons are just fine, it’s the best friend herself and her oldest daughter we have an issue with.

The oldest daughter is creepy. Her and my husband are god siblings. When they were both in 8th grade, she tried to sit on his lap while he was sleeping. When he and I were dating—we were both 19—she tried to kiss him. She was sober, he was drunk. Over the years, she’s viewed our social media stories without being friends with us/following us.

The final straw was her sending him a nude photo a couple years ago. We have her blocked on everything. Every time she’s done something, she’s been with a guy. She also has children.. We just don’t like her. Her mother says we take her behavior, “too seriously.”. My MiL is annoyed about the rule.. She s**ually harasses my husband, I think it’s a fair rule..

UPDATE : Husband and I showed his mother this post, lol. She now understands that she was being inconsiderate and is going to talk to her best friend about taking this all more seriously from now on. While I was talking to her about it, my husband told us he didn’t tell us but not long ago, he got a message from a new account on Instagram that was being weird,

and he’s pretty sure it was his god sister. We are moving forward with a restraining order and no one is to disclose our address to her and my MiL is making her circle fully aware of everything because every other year it’s something with his god sister. Thanks, everyone!

Setting boundaries in a new home can feel like guarding a castle under siege. This couple’s clash with the mother-in-law highlights a delicate balance between family ties and personal safety. The husband’s god-sister’s behavior—ranging from inappropriate advances to sending unsolicited explicit content—crosses clear lines into harassment. The mother-in-law’s initial dismissal of these actions reflects a common blind spot: minimizing women’s misconduct toward men.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Healthy boundaries are the foundation of trust and respect in any relationship” (source: Gottman Institute). Here, the couple’s boundary isn’t just about a party—it’s about reclaiming their space from a history of violation. The god-sister’s actions, including creating new social media accounts to contact the husband, suggest obsessive behavior, which experts say affects 1 in 6 women and 1 in 19 men in their lifetime (source: National Stalking Resource Center).

Broadening the lens, this story taps into a larger issue: the struggle to enforce boundaries when family dynamics muddy the waters. The mother-in-law’s pushback mirrors societal tendencies to downplay harassment, especially when it defies gender norms. By pursuing a restraining order, the couple takes a stand, prioritizing safety over appeasement.

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For others in similar situations, experts suggest clear communication and firm consequences. Documenting incidents, as the couple did by sharing the Reddit post, can help validate concerns to family. Seeking legal advice, as they are, ensures protection without escalation. Above all, trust your instincts—your home should be your sanctuary.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back, delivering candid and spicy takes on this family drama. Here are some of the top reactions from the community:

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[Reddit User] − NTA, and I wouldn’t let her use the house if she thinks your husband having a stalker isn’t that big a deal.

neverthelessidissent − NTA but I find it so weird that your MIL wants to host parties for herself at your house.

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SunnyRose57 − NTA - If the genders were reversed, her mother would be flipping her lid. I would say no too. If it's a deal breaker, too bad, no cookout.

The_real_Psu − NTA- Your MIL being allowed to do her cookout at your place, doesn’t allow her to invite someone you want no contact with. The girl s**ually harassed your husband, she shouldn’t be welcome anywhere near him, even less at your home invited by his mom.

MIL doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of s**ual harassment or might not believe it can be done by a woman to a man. Even if she don’t agree, your home ain’t her, she shouldn’t argue. Your home your rules, she do as she please at her place.

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_iron_butterfly_ − NTA - let this situation be a lesson on why it's a bad idea. I have a house that's set up for large parties or entertaining. I learned the hard way...Never let anyone else 'host' a party at your home. Typically entitled people ask for a favor like this. Like it or not...You will really be hosting since it's your house. You will clean before they come and clean up after they leave. You have every right to say who's allowed in your home.

screamqueen57 − NTA - aside from the inappropriate behavior of the friend’s oldest daughter; it’s your house and people are not entitled to use it as an event space because they don’t have the space to host a party. Every local park has grills and seating. If they want to host a cookout so badly, they can go there.

Re the oldest daughter, your husband needs to be really firm and draw a line in the sand with his mom. He can say if she keeps inviting that woman around, he will not show up to events, and if she ever shows up uninvited to the house, he’s calling the police. If she and the friend won’t take you seriously, frame it out very clearly that if they do not respect your boundaries, there will be consequences.

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shanna811 − NTA but tell your MIL that those are your terms for using your house. If best friend and daughter turn up then everyone will be kicked out and she can never use your house for hosting again.

miichhee − NTA - keep that hoochie away from your husband if your MIL has a problem with the rules you set for your home then cancel her whole shindig ..also why does she even want to use your space to host a cookout that's so weird to me why would you want to invite all your friends to someone else's house just to say you had a party IMO that's just weird I get it if you offered to throw her a party for her birthday or something but her wanting to use your house to host an event gives weird vibes

[Reddit User] − NTA. MIL can get over it.

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[Reddit User] − This whole thing just sounds like a weird excuse to get your husband’s stalker to know your new address and have access to your home. Hosting a party at your house for her and her friends is honestly weird on its own,

but once you add in the fact she is insisting on inviting the stalker and is downplaying the literal years of stalker shenanigans up to this point makes it all seem really creepy. I mean this would give the stalker potential access to your room, your electronics, your wifi, your medicine cabinets, your food, your clothes,

and any information or personal items that just might be laying around. Even something as small as a bill left out can give the wrong person enough power to mess up your lives if they so choose.. NTA, don’t let anyone who downplays stalking have access to your home and the people who visit it.

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Edited for the update: Glad the Mom learned to stop enabling this dangerous behavior and that everyone is taking proper steps to stay safe. Clearly, this was an attempt to get into your home and learn your new address. Good thing you were all able to dodge that nonsense.

These Reddit hot takes cut straight to the chase, but do they capture the full picture? Or is there more to unpack in this tangled web of family and boundaries?

This couple’s stand against an unwanted guest transformed a simple cookout into a battle for their home’s sanctity. By confronting the issue head-on, they turned a tense family dynamic into a step toward safety and mutual understanding. Their story reminds us that boundaries aren’t just lines in the sand—they’re shields for our peace. What would you do if faced with a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation sizzling!

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