Another Update: Told my fiance there will be no wedding if she keeps insisting my parents should come?
For those who want to read the previous part: Original Post.
Here’s the latest: I’m 35M, still reeling from last night’s blowout with my fiancée (28F). Quick recap—my parents ditched me young, Mom and stepdad made me the family ghost, and I’ve been no-contact since 19. My half-sister (25F) is my only tie. My fiancée’s been my rock for four years, her family a lifeline, until wedding planning unearthed my buried baggage. She’s fixated on inviting my parents despite my firm “no,” and last night, she mused, “I might just invite them on my side.” I lost it—told her no respect, no wedding, then stormed out. Slept on the couch, she’s at work now, and we’re a silent mess. Did I go too far?
Since then, things have shifted. I’ve cooled off with friends, but her words echo—would she really override me? Today’s silence stings more than the fight. My sister texted, clueless about this, just chatting like normal. I haven’t replied—too raw. Meanwhile, my fiancée’s family hasn’t weighed in, but I dread the “fix it” talk from her mom. We’re at a crossroads: her vision versus my wounds. AITA for digging in?
‘Another Update: Told my fiance there will be no wedding if she keeps insisting my parents should come?’
This latest clash isn’t just a rerun—it’s a deeper cut. My fiancée’s “I might invite them” wasn’t a slip; it’s a peek into her blind spot. Dr. John Gottman calls this a “bid for connection gone wrong” (from The Relationship Cure)—she’s reaching for harmony, but trampling my autonomy. I get her angle: her family’s tight, she can’t fathom mine’s a void. But pushing after I’ve bared my soul? That’s not love, it’s erasure. My ultimatum was sharp, born of panic—losing her scares me, but losing myself again terrifies me more.
The overall vibe? We’re mismatched on boundaries. She sees a wedding as a glue; I see it as mine to guard. Stats show 40% of couples clash over family pre-wedding (WeddingWire, 2023), but this feels personal—my rejection’s being relitigated. Her silence today says she’s hurt or plotting; my couch stint says I’m stuck. Next move? Talk, not yell—maybe therapy to unpack why she’s so hung up on this. Readers, am I clinging too hard to my past, or is she bulldozing my present?
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Reddit’s crowd mostly had my back last time—still do, I’d bet. They’d likely say I’m not the asshole: my fiancée’s steamrolling a no-go zone, and “no wedding” was a desperate flag, not a tantrum. They’d peg her insistence as naive at best, controlling at worst, and my pain as valid—family isn’t her fix-it project. Some might soften for her, guessing she’s scared of our rift, but they’d still demand she back off. Overall? I’m holding my ground, not torching it.
So, AITA still? Her “I might” lit a match, and I doused it with gasoline—harsh, but honest. We’re tiptoeing now, unspoken hurts piling up. I love her, but this isn’t about mending my past—it’s about owning my future. Maybe I could’ve dialed it back, but shouldn’t she respect my “no”? If your partner kept prodding your scars, would you stand firm or fold? Dive in—let’s sift through this wreckage!
