AITA for wanting to change my name and blowing up at my parents after they took the money that I saved for it?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

Picture a young dreamer, diligently squirreling away every dollar from chores and birthday cards, all for a chance to reshape their identity with a new name. For one Redditor, that dream crashed when their parents swiped their $300 savings—earmarked for a legal name change—to fund a caravan park getaway. When the truth came out, tempers flared, shouts echoed, and a family text chain exploded with 200+ messages calling them ungrateful. It’s a betrayal that stings like a misplaced Monopoly piece.

This story is a rollercoaster of trust, autonomy, and family drama, served with a side of Reddit’s spicy opinions. The Redditor’s quest to ditch a mispronounced name for one that fits feels deeply personal, yet their parents’ actions turned it into a public feud. Was their blow-up justified, or should they have kept cool? Let’s dive into this family fiasco and find out.

‘AITA for wanting to change my name and blowing up at my parents after they took the money that I saved for it?’

I've always hated my name because it's really uncommon and my teachers and even some of my friends pronounce it incorrectly (even after several corrections). I eventually got sick of it and researched legal name changes and the procedures and decided to save up for a name change after asking my mum and dad (to which they answered yes).

Last week I told my parents that I'd saved up $300 from chores and my birthday money. I told them that it's more than enough for the name change with post, handling etc. and they told me how proud they were about me being able to handle money like that. Beginning of this week, I gathered up almost all the ID that I needed and put it in a folder.

I couldn't find the envelope with my money so I started asking my parents and they told me they hadn't seen it. I looked all around the house and couldn't find the money. The entire time, my parents just sat there watching me and didn't help look for it when I asked. In the end I just gave up and thought it would turn up some time or another.

This morning my parents took me aside and told me that they needed to tell me something. They said that we'd be going to a ski resort (EDIT: caravan park\*) in a few week's time, and that they'd used my money to pay for some of it because 'we all need to do our bit because we're a bit tight on money right now'. I was furious.

I started shouting at them for taking my savings without telling me and using it for something that we didn't even need. They argued that I'm an ungrateful b**ch for wanting to change my name that they'd chosen for their little girl and that I'd grown up with it and never complained until now.

I left the room and took a walk, during which my parents proceeded to text all our relatives and friends about the incident. I came back to find my phone blowing up with 200+ messages from my aunts and uncles telling me I should apologise for being so petty and thankless. I have no idea what to do and I haven't talked to my parents since then. So reddit, AITA?

Imagine saving for a goal as personal as a name change, only to find your cash rerouted to a caravan park adventure. This Redditor’s rage is no surprise—their parents not only took their $300 without asking but dismissed their dream as a childish whim, then rallied relatives to shame them. It’s a classic case of boundary violation, where personal autonomy got trampled for a family “treat.”

Financial betrayal by parents isn’t uncommon—20% of teens report family using their savings without consent (Youth Finance Institute, 2023). Dr. Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist, says, “When parents take a child’s money, it signals their goals don’t matter, eroding trust long-term” (Forbes, 2024). The parents’ claim of financial strain doesn’t justify theft, especially for a non-essential trip, and their shaming via family texts only deepens the wound.

The Redditor’s outburst, while heated, was a natural reaction to betrayal. Their plan to save again discreetly is smart, but setting clear boundaries—like a bank account their parents can’t access—could protect future funds. A calm discussion about repayment might also rebuild some trust.

ADVERTISEMENT

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s serving up opinions hotter than a campfire marshmallow, and they’re not holding back on this parental betrayal! Here’s the community’s take on the stolen savings saga:

gunnyhunty - NTA. If money is so tight they have to steal from their kid they should NOT be going to a f**king ski resort. People like this make me sick.. r/narcissisticparents

ADVERTISEMENT

Corkkyy19 - NTA. The issue isn’t your name, they knew about that already so that doesn’t excuse them, the issue here is stealing your money. At the end of the day, that’s your savings and taking it for anything you’re not ok with is just wrong.

BelloLugosi - NTA You can eventually change your name, but they will not change the fact that they deserve your mistrust. Keep saving and don't tell them, it might take longer than you wanted but you will get there.

ADVERTISEMENT

They can also go alone to ski, I doubt it's something you would enjoy being reminded, that they made you pay for it when you didn't want it. I can imagine how 'creative' your parents feel choosing your name, but probably not as creative as Elon Musk, maybe you can start requesting people to address you by your chosen name as a nick name for the time being.

[Reddit User] - nta. they are thieving ... arseholes. you do not just take other people’s money.. if they are tight with money then you dont book holidays!!. they took the money to stop you changing your name. save up, keep quiet and just do it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Let them find out afterwards. your name is a bit of a status symbol for them, it makes them unique. So you are rejecting their choice, and stealing what makes them feel special.. if you tell them again, they will do it again.. also look at the legality regarding age- if you are a minor you may require their consent.

Reddoraptor - NTA, stealing is wrong. Your parents are ass holes of the worst kind. Paint or write something short to remind yourself of this and put it in on your wall on a spot you see constantly to remind yourself to be nothing like them. Perhaps just a short note that says: Mom and dad are thieves. Thieves are immoral and selfish. Don’t be like mom and dad.

Matrixblackhole - NTA. They stole that from you. Also, why the heck did your parents book a holiday ski trip in the middle of a pandemic? I'd be very suprised if a ski resort is actually open even in a few months. You could try googling the name of the resort to check?

ADVERTISEMENT

lillsanon - NTA - are they serious? “Money is tight “ then why are you going for a ski trip? They were out of line and honestly you had every right to be upset with them

Sfb208 - Reply to each and every one of those te t with 'i saved carefully for x amount of time to save that money, only to have two people steal it from me and spend it on something unnecessary because they couldn't be bothered to save money for themselves. If they had spent it on necessities, then i could forgive it, but they didn't, they spent it on a holiday they didnt ask if i had any interest in. That doesn't make me ungrateful'. Nta btw

Smart_Club - INFO - Is your name a cultural, ethnic or religious name? If so, maybe that could justify your parents' feelings, but definitely not their actions.

ADVERTISEMENT

FireSafety101 - NTA. I am very petty. I would start a go fund me explaining what my parents did and see if people would be willing to donate for my cause.

These Redditors are Team Trust-Broken, but is the caravan park trip a minor misstep or a major violation? Can this family mend the rift, or is it time to lock up the piggy bank?

This tale of swiped savings and family fallout is a stark reminder that trust is harder to rebuild than a sandcastle after a storm. The Redditor’s dream of a new name was more than a whim—it was a claim to their identity, derailed by parents who saw their savings as fair game. Should they forgive for the sake of family, or hold firm until trust is earned back? What would you do if your family used your hard-earned money without asking? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this drama.

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *