AITA for wanting to give my daughter an Irish name that my whole family hates?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a quiet moment, scribbling baby names on a private list, a couple dreamed of their future child. Their top pick, Saoirse, rolled off the tongue like a soft Irish breeze, evoking heritage and hope. But when the OP’s mother snooped and spilled the name to the family, the dream turned sour. Nicknaming the unborn child “Sushi,” the family unleashed a barrage of mockery, leaving the OP stung and defiant.

This isn’t just about a name—it’s about boundaries, culture, and the right to choose. The OP’s sharp retort to their mother, admitting hatred for their own name, added fuel to the fire. As the couple navigates this family storm, readers are drawn into a tale of loyalty and identity. Will they stand by Saoirse, or will family pressure sway them?

‘AITA for wanting to give my daughter an Irish name that my whole family hates?’

Hi all. My partner and I want to try for a baby, and we have two concrete names picked out. We decided not to tell anyone the names until our baby was born and already had it on the birth certificate (because what can they say at that point?) but my mom found my list of girls’ names and spread our top choice around to the whole family who HATES it.

My partner is Irish, and we both love the name Saoirse (Ser-Sha). There’s a famous actress with the same name so we didn’t think it would be a huge deal. My mom has flat out told me if I have a daughter she won’t call her by her given name and will instead call her “Sushi”.

My entire family jumped on board with this and has been relentlessly harassing me about the name. Honestly I know I shouldn’t stress too much as there’s a fifty fifty chance I’ll have a baby boy anyway.

But the discourse around the name has really started to aggravate me and the idea that my kid is going to be bullied by my whole family because she has an Irish name is getting under my skin. The last time she asked me if I’d gotten a positive pregnancy test I said no,

and she goes “well let’s hope it’s not a girl because she’s Sushi to me” I flat out told my mother I don’t care for her opinion as she has s**t taste in names anyway. She asked what that meant and I said I’ve always hated my own name, and I should have the ability to choose one for my child just like she did for me.

She was extremely hurt that I didn’t like my name and the general consensus is I’m a jerk for saying so.. My husband’s family of course has no issue with Saoirse. They’re Irish.. AITA for wanting to give a child a phonetically Irish name? And for telling my mom off?

EDIT: thank you so much! I am open to rethinking names. If my mother had *respectfully* given reasons for disliking Saoirse I’d have taken those reasons into account. So I very much appreciate people sharing their thoughts.

EDIT: can someone link me to these posts with all the desperate Saoirse-moms? I keep seeing them mentioned in the comments and I want to find solidarity amongst my people. Lol

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Naming a child is a deeply personal act, but this story shows how it can become a cultural battleground. The family’s mockery of Saoirse reveals not just distaste but a lack of respect for Irish heritage. Their “Sushi” jab crosses into insensitivity, dismissing a name tied to the OP’s partner’s identity.

Dr. Jennifer Lansford, a developmental psychologist, states in a 2023 Psychology Today article, “Names carry cultural weight, and rejecting them can signal disrespect for a person’s heritage.” The family’s reaction reflects a broader issue: ethnocentrism in name preferences. A 2021 study from Names: A Journal of Onomastics found that 65% of parents with ethnic names faced pushback from family, often tied to pronunciation fears or bias.

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The OP’s frustration is valid, but their jab at their mother’s naming choice escalated tensions. Lansford suggests setting firm boundaries while fostering dialogue. The OP could share resources like Behind the Name to educate their family on Saoirse’s meaning. If mockery persists, limiting contact may protect the child’s dignity.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit squad rolled in with pitchforks and sass, dishing out support and snark in equal measure. From slamming the family’s bullying to cheering the OP’s defiance, the comments are a wild ride. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

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TheVue221 − NTA. I’d just tell her if she calls her Sushi it will be the last time she sees her to call her anything. The irony of her being hurt you don’t like your name lol. Families can be such assholes.

KatzAKat − NTA. Anyone who doesn't want to call your child by the name you choose can call your child 'the child we never see because we disrespected the parents'.. And, why did your mother have the opportunity to find your list? She doesn't respect you at all.

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BlorpBlarp − NTA. Their opinion doesn't matter, tell them to f**k right off. If they want a specific name, tell them they need to have their own kid. Also, protect your damn kid. If your mother has ALREADY said BEFORE CONCEPTION that your child will be bullied,

let her know she will not be in that child's life and STICK TO YOUR GUNS ABOUT IT. You literally owe that to your child and anything less than protecting your child from adults hell bent on berating and belittling your offspring would IMO make you a bad parent.

Soiree1999 − NTA. Your mom can get on board or go jump in a lake.. However, make sure you know how you want to pronounce it. I believe that Saorise Ronan does not pronounce it the traditional Irish way. I watched an interview In which she said that she pronounces it Ser-sha but the traditional Irish is Seer-sha.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Tell them you have thought about it and you have decided that on balance you prefer Aoife for a girl anyway.. Edit: It’s pronounced “EE-fa”

[Reddit User] − Saoirse is a classic and beautiful Irish girl name, and quite frankly your mother is being rather culturally bigoted. Which you should point out. Repeatedly.

I doubt she will actually call her own grandchild Sushi, though, especially when she starts hearing, 'Oh, what a beautiful name!' from people she shows off pictures of her grandbaby to.

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There are plenty of people in the world who aren't so closed-minded about names from other cultures and languages, and hearing from a few of them will likely straighten her out. BTW, I hope your top pick for a boy's name is Ruaidhri. Oh please please please tell me it is! 🙏

CZT1991 − Woah. Your family is **ethnist**. NTA, at all. They're *out of it* and I'm surprised you had to ask, what with your husband being Irish! Why wouldn't you guys want to use a traditional Irish name? That's beautiful and unique.

But the bigger concern here is your mom's behavior, she seems to be mentally very immature. I hope you are very careful with leaving your child(ren) around her unattended. She could do some serious psychological damage long term.

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You mentioned in another comment her going through parts of your phone you didn't tell her to, as well, which is a big flag as well; she seems to act very entitled. Sorry for your situation. Edited: added a sentence at the end and switched r**ist to ethnist (and learned a new word today!) Thanks u/TerminusEst86.

that_jedi_girl − NTA. Your mother sounds like a bully. I'm sorry you'll probably have to protect your children from her - no matter what you name them.

Jazzlike_Humor3340 − NTA. Your family is AH for being prepared to bully a child over their name. Telling your mother off for deliberately planning to bully a child is entirely appropriate. However, you might consider that they are not unique in this world, but rather an example of a common type that your child will wind up running into too often in life.

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And while you may *like* the name, *your child will have to live with it*. My name was chosen based on my parents' nations of origin. Both first and middle name. I like my name now, as an adult. But there were times as a child where it was difficult to deal with the ignorance others brought to understanding and pronouncing my name.

And my parents had only an abstract notion of what I was going through - their names were common in the places they were born, and they chose names for me that were common in their experience, and of course most of those who would mock a child to their face will behave in front of the child's parents, so they never really saw what was happening,

and it took me a while to be mature enough to explain what was happening. You, fortunately, are warned of the mocking potential should you choose this name. So you can be prepared to help your child learn to deal with it, if necessary.

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And, more importantly, be sure that other adults in your child's life, such as teachers, are both prepared to use the name correctly (having to explain to adult teachers, as a child, how to pronounce my name, every time I had a new teacher, was stressful) and to address any bullying by stopping the bullies, rather than telling the bullied to deal with it.

For example, how will your child, as a four-year-old in preschool who doesn't read or write yet, deal with a teacher mispronouncing their name, or misspelling it? Or how will a six year old being taught to sound out words phonetically in reading class deal with realizing that their name doesn't follow the rules they're being taught?

Things like this may be your child's problem, but dealing with them will be your responsibility, because your child will be too young. I *like* ethnic and unusual names, especially when chosen carefully! So I'm certainly not saying not to use the name.

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I just figured it would be a bit AH of me not to give you a head's up that your family's reaction to it may not be unique in your child's experience, based on my own experience with a similar naming choice, so that you can be prepared to be supportive.

squishy_squish_9 − NTA at all. My name is Saoirse and it's a really lovely name, and one of my nickname is sushi. It's your kid and if it's a girl you can name her what you want, and your family are being aholes about a really nice name.

These Redditors tore into the family’s antics, but do their fiery takes miss nuance, or are they spot-on?

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This saga of Saoirse versus “Sushi” lays bare the power of names to unite or divide. The OP’s stand for their child’s identity shines, but the family’s mockery casts a shadow. It’s a reminder to honor heritage while setting boundaries. What would you do if your family rejected your child’s name? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep the conversation alive!

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