AITA for not wanting to help?

The air in the family living room crackled with tension, like a summer storm brewing over a quiet suburb. A 17-year-old stood their ground, arms crossed, as their mother laid down the law: help your sister with her newborn or lose your internet and phone. It’s a classic family showdown, where stubbornness meets responsibility, and the stakes feel sky-high. The teen’s refusal to pitch in for their sister’s new baby has ignited a fiery debate, leaving everyone wondering who’s really in the wrong.

This Reddit saga, plucked from the AITA forum, unveils a tale of family expectations clashing with teenage defiance. The original poster (OP) paints a picture of unfair punishment, but the community’s reactions peel back layers of entitlement. Let’s dive into this messy family drama, where chores, babies, and Wi-Fi bans fuel a heated standoff.

‘AITA for not wanting to help?’

My sister just had a baby. My mom wants to visit her and help her with the cleaning, cooking, etc so she can spend all her time with the baby. I said I didn't want to help, and she was annoyed with me. She said if I didn't help I can't come. I said that was fine and I would stay home. My mom agreed that I could stay home as long as I called her every day to let her know I was alive/safe.

However, today she told me she's turning the internet off before she leaves and said she won't turn it back on until she returns. I think this is unfair that I'm being punished for not wanting to clean my sister's messes. She said I'm not being punished, but if I won't do something nice for my sister she isn't going to let me use the internet either.

She then said she was going to call the phone company and have my cell phone turned off (we have a landline) until she returns. I asked my mom what will happen if there's an emergency when I'm out. She said even disabled phones can call 911 and that I'm not allowed to go anywhere but school anyway,

and if she calls the house and I don't answer she won't turn my phone back on ever. I think she's being crazy. We keep arguing, and she says she's going to do all this first thing tomorrow (she leaves Wednesday). I've never seen her act like this. Am I really wrong?

Family conflicts over responsibilities can feel like navigating a minefield blindfolded. This teen’s refusal to help their sister highlights a deeper struggle: balancing personal freedom with family obligations. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family psychologist, “Family dynamics thrive on mutual support, but resentment festers when contributions feel unequal” . In this case, the OP’s resistance to chores stems from a sense of entitlement, while their mother’s drastic measures signal frustration with ongoing irresponsibility.

The OP’s failing grades and reluctance to take on chores or a job point to a broader issue: a lack of accountability. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that 70% of teens who contribute to household tasks develop stronger self-discipline . The mother’s Wi-Fi and phone cutoff, while harsh, seems like a desperate bid to enforce structure. Yet, her approach risks escalating defiance rather than fostering cooperation.

Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes clear communication: “Set expectations with empathy, not ultimatums.” The mother could explain how helping benefits the family unit, while the OP needs to recognize that privileges like internet come with responsibilities. Both sides could meet halfway—perhaps a lighter chore load or a temporary phone plan—to rebuild trust.

For the OP, learning to contribute now is crucial. Family therapist Virginia Satir once noted, “Responsibility builds character, not resentment” . By pitching in, the OP could gain skills for adulthood while easing family tension. Open dialogue, not punishment, is the key to resolving this standoff.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of shade and tough love. Here’s what they had to say:

Daskesmoelf_8 − INFO: How far away does your sister live? How old are you?

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Mountainsof_Glacier − YTA. Everyone, OP’s post is extremely misleading. The actual situation according to OP’s comments, are that OP is an irresponsible entitled a**hole. Mom either needs OP to come along and not be a pain in the ass (help, prioritise sister and baby, not expect to be waited on hand and foot) so mom can monitor, or stay home,

and to help ensure that OP is actually attending their summer classes to make up for failing during the school year because the tests are just too hard and they shouldn’t have to do school work, she’s going to turn off the internet and her phone so she’s got no choice but to show up in person or be truant.

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Mom will know where she is for most of the day and when she’s home at least she won’t be able to message her friends to come over and trash the house like she’s threatening to do. OP does not want to live with dad because dad believes in chores,

and boundaries appropriate for a 17 year old and OP believes that they alone are the centre of this universe and therefore should be able to treat people and places and things however they please with their parents acting as maids and no consequences.

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SlowResearch2 − NTA, and idk why I keep seeing judgements that say anything else. Your sister's baby is not your responsibility, especially because you're 17. Edit: After reading OP's comments, I'm now more split on this.

On one hand OP's mom is threatening to turn off the internet which OP is reliant on for her classes, but on the other hand OP now sounds so entitled and threatening to make messes in retaliation. You're NTA for saying that your sister's baby is not your responsibility, but YTA because of your entitled attitude.

LingonberryPrior6896 − Reading the comments, I am getting troll vibes.

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Castingjoy − Oof. Glad I read OPs comments before I made a judgement.. YTA. Your initial story people are judging is extremely misleading. You left A LOT out! There is a very obvious reason why your mother is doing what she’s doing, and it’s due to how you behave. You very much can control your grades. You sure can take care of yourself without internet or a cell phone.

You can go to school in person even though one person bullies you. You can clean up after yourself. Your thought to dump trash everywhere for your mother to clean when she gets home because she wants you to help clean at your sisters house who just had a baby is being immature and you sound extremely selfish and spoiled..

Your father making you do chores and asking you to get good grades IS NORMAL. Internet IS NOT a basic human right. Your parents/family work for the money they make to pay for their things, and YOUR things. Your argument that they don’t have to take tests is beyond ridiculous. They work. They went to school.

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You can 100% get a job now to make your own money to pay for your phone. You need a HUGE attitude adjustment. I completely understand why your mother is doing what she’s doing if you don’t go and help. What are you going to do as an adult, when you turn 18 and have no money and refuse to take care of yourself and they won’t help you at all?. Grow up.

BreathoftheChild − YTA. The n-t-a votes need to read your comments and realize that this is likely a last-ditch attempt at getting you to do ANYTHING independently because you screwed up your grades so badly and don't contribute to the household at all. You're 17, not 7.

ehumanbeing − Based on the post NTA but based on your comments YTA. You sound rather entitled and lazy. You don’t want to get a job, you don’t want to live at your dad’s because he wants you to help around the house,

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you want your sister’s help but don’t want to help her or have her involved in your classes/grades, you have an excuse for everything. It seems like your mom is overall fed up with your attitude and behavior and this is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

samanthasgramma − You're 17, flunked 2 classes, so have to make them up, don't feel you should work for your own money because walking is hard, feel that you shouldn't need to pay for anything because you're only 17, don't believe in chores because contributing to your home upkeep is unreasonable,

your friend's parents won't let you stay with them and I'm guessing that's because they don't like you, You don't want to go to Dad's because he asks you to be responsible with chores and your grades (flunked 2 classes, remember?) ... And would appear to be plotting vengeance by trashing your own home while Mom is away.

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Angry because mom is turning off internet and cell phone ... which she pays for.. You are either a troll, having fun, with this post .... Or you are a real 17 year old who needs to have their b**t metaphorically kicked into next week.. ... and I suspect that is why Mom is doing what she is. I don't blame her. YTA

Silver-Worldliness84 − So I have a 16yo who I occasionally leave home alone. The difference is she has a 4.4 GPA, a job, helps around the house and is responsible. You're technically right. You don't have to help your sister, but being in a family means doing crap you don't want to do sometimes, regardless of what reddit tells you.

It's not like you're being asked to endure some h**eous torture. Ffs, it's helping with chores. Grow up. You come across as really immature and I wouldn't leave you alone in my house. As far as the cell and internet, if mom pays for them you've nothing to say.. Maybe an unpopular opinion but YTA.

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MomLovesMonsters − YTA. Not wanting to help your sister clean her house is understandable. But after all the other stuff I’ve seen you whining about in the comments you most certainly are the a**hole.

Get off your lazy ass, get a job and pay for your own stuff, stop bitching about your parents actually trying to make you act responsible and stop making so many excuses for everything. You’re 17 years old, you will legally be an adult soon, grow up and start acting like one!

These Redditors tore into the OP’s story, flipping initial sympathy into a roast of their entitled attitude. From accusations of laziness to calls for maturity, the comments paint a picture of a teen dodging responsibility at every turn. But do these hot takes capture the full story, or are they just fanning the drama?

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This tale of a teen, a new baby, and a Wi-Fi ban reveals how fast family tensions can boil over. The OP’s defiance and their mother’s hardline stance show both sides digging in, but compromise could cool things down. Families aren’t perfect—they’re messy, human, and full of growth opportunities. What would you do if you were caught in this tug-of-war between freedom and duty? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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