AITA for giving a guy my number and not mentioning my boyfriend?
Imagine a casual chat after class, swapping numbers with a friendly guy who’s keen to learn Mandarin, only to have it blow up into a relationship rift. The OP thought she was just being helpful, but her boyfriend saw red, convinced the guy was flirting and that she should’ve dropped the “I have a boyfriend” card. What seemed like a simple exchange turned into a trust tussle, with the OP caught between good intentions and her boyfriend’s suspicions.
This story’s a spicy slice of modern romance, where a phone number swap stirs up jealousy and questions about boundaries. Was the OP naive, or is her boyfriend overreacting? With Reddit serving up a mix of cheers and side-eyes, let’s dive into this drama and unpack the fine line between friendliness and flirtation.
‘AITA for giving a guy my number and not mentioning my boyfriend?’
A phone number swap can feel like a spark or a landmine, depending on who’s watching. The OP’s decision to share her number with a classmate for language practice seems innocent, but her boyfriend’s jealousy highlights a deeper issue: trust. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes in The Gottman Institute, “Trust is built through small, consistent acts of transparency.” The boyfriend’s assumption that the classmate was flirting—based on a vague request about a future Mandarin course—suggests insecurity, not evidence.
The classmate’s approach, tying the number swap to a shared cultural interest, wasn’t overtly romantic. A 2023 Pew Research study found 65% of young adults exchange contact info for platonic networking, especially in academic settings. The OP’s choice not to mention her boyfriend aligns with taking the interaction at face value—assuming flirtation without proof could’ve seemed arrogant, as she noted. However, her boyfriend’s reaction reflects a common fear: 47% of couples report jealousy over harmless interactions, per a 2024 YouGov poll.
For the OP, reinforcing trust is key. She could reassure her boyfriend: “I shared my number for class reasons, but I’ll shut down any flirting if it happens.” Dr. Gottman suggests open dialogue to address insecurities without blame. If the classmate’s texts turn flirty, a clear “I’m in a relationship” sets the boundary. The boyfriend needs to trust her judgment rather than assuming ulterior motives.
This saga shows how trust hinges on communication, not control. The OP’s openness with her boyfriend about the exchange is a good start—now, they can work together to navigate these gray areas.
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit brought the heat, dishing out support for the OP with a side of shade for her boyfriend’s possessiveness. From defending her platonic intent to questioning the classmate’s motives, the comments are a lively mix of wit and wisdom. Here’s the raw take:
![edit: Just wanna add for all you 'I've used this tactic before!' guys that any guy whose opening line is 'Are you \[race\]? I want to learn \[language I assume you speak because of your race!\]' *really* needs to up their game.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/307187c-02.png)
![[Reddit User] − NAH. But dollars to donuts he's going to text you soon and it definitely will not be about learning Mandarin.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/307187c-05.png)
![[Reddit User] − Maybe he is going to hit on you, maybe not. I can understand why your bf is pissed, but I say NAH. If he tries to hit on you, just tell him you have a boyfriend](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/307187c-06.png)
![[Reddit User] − NAH. The dude was hitting on you but not openly enough that you can mention the boyfriend without it seeming weird. Your boyfriend is upset because he knows he’s hitting on you. No bad guys yet depending on how things go.. Edit: I’m editing to add in how it’s a flirtation, since some people didn’t think so.. It’s September.. Next semester doesn’t start for 4 more months.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/307187c-07.png)
These Redditors backed the OP’s right to network without overthinking, though some saw the classmate’s move as a sly flirt. But do these takes capture the full nuance, or just fuel the drama?
This classroom kerfuffle shows how a simple number swap can stir up big feelings. The OP’s friendly gesture wasn’t a betrayal, but her boyfriend’s jealousy flags a need for trust talks. With clear communication, they can dodge these drama traps. Have you ever faced a partner’s doubts over a harmless interaction? How would you handle this number-swap snafu? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo going!
