AITAH for refusing to forgive my parents after they disowned me when they thought I was a deadbeat dad?

The silence of a phone buzzing with apologies felt heavier than the initial sting for a man wrongly branded a deadbeat dad. A year ago, his parents disowned him based on a false claim, only to backtrack with regret and cash after a paternity test cleared his name. His refusal to forgive has left a rift, the air thick with unresolved hurt and pride.

This isn’t just about a family fallout; it’s a raw look at trust shattered and boundaries drawn. Readers can feel the betrayal and his resolve, wondering if holding the line makes him right or stubborn. It’s a story that grips you, urging a closer look at where loyalty ends.

‘AITAH for refusing to forgive my parents after they disowned me when they thought I was a deadbeat dad?’

To make a very long story short, my friend has a sister with some mental issues that I'm not privy to. She got pregnant a little over a year ago, and claimed I was the father. I knew this was b**lshit because A) I've never hugged her let alone had s** with her. And B) the time she would've gotten pregnant she was staying at a friends place for a month.

She refused a prenatal paternity test, so I was clear I wasn't signing anything or having anything to do with the kid. My parents found out, and it got ugly. They said they never raised be to be a deadbeat, said I couldn't drop the ball, lots of very n**ty comments from all three of us I admit.

Finally when she was about six months along they said they couldn't keep me in their lives if I was trying to skip out on being a dad, and they disowned me. My mom was there when she gave birth, and not long after a paternity test showed it wasn't mine My parents have been blowing up my phone apologizing, offering money,

anything to get me to forgive them. I kept some money they sent me (A few hundred) and said that if they were willing to disown me over that, I'm not opening myself up to another risk. Most of my friends support me, but a few others, as well as my therapist, said I should give them another chance.

This family divide over a false paternity claim runs deep. The man, wrongly accused and disowned, now faces his parents’ apologies and offers of money, yet chooses to keep his distance, fearing further hurt. Their initial harsh words and quick judgment—disowning him without proof—eroded trust, making his stance a shield rather than spite.

This mirrors a broader issue: family estrangement often stems from unaddressed misjudgments. A 2023 study by the National Council on Family Relations found 25% of adults experience parental estrangement, often triggered by perceived betrayal. His parents’ reaction suggests a rush to judgment over faith in him.

Dr. Joshua Coleman, a family therapist, writes in a 2022 article, “Forgiveness is a choice, not an obligation. When trust is broken, rebuilding requires consistent effort, not just apologies”. He might consider setting clear terms for reconnection, like therapy, if he’s open to it.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit community weighed in with a mix of support and sharp insights. Here’s what they had to say about this family fracture:

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TheTattedWeenus - NTA they failed as parents and took the word of a random over the word of their son. If you do end up giving them another chance make sure they know how badly they f’ed up

minisculeduck - NTA. they didn't believe you and spoke so harshly to you so you should now talk to them if you really want to also if you're doing it mention all the things they said were out of line and they need to trust you and their upbringing both

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lianavan - Get a new therapist ASAP. No professional would tell someone to ignore their own personal boundary in a situation like this. Block them on your phone.

VarnishedTruths - NTA. They showed you who they are. Believe them. They're not on your side and don't deserve another chance.. Time for a new therapist.

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thesoundedmind - NTA. ALso, you can forgive them and still not give them access to you. I so sorry that happened to you. The people who you are supposed to always count on let you down so badly. That hurts at any age.

MakeUpAName93 - Nta but get a new therapist!!! Wtf!

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hauki888 - I kept some money they sent me (A few hundred) Do they see you as a teenager who can be appeased with a few hundred dollars as compensation for something that could result in lifelong trauma?

PatchEnd - nta. 1. change therapist. 2. you don't have to open up to anyone you don't want to open up to. 3. change therapist

Scarlett-Spitfire - They believed someone else's lies over their own son? NTA, cut them off.

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jack_skellington - Just a note: when I was 16, my grandparents gave me a disowning as my 16th birthday present. Came in a nice card and everything -- opened it up and it read 'you are dead to us' and had some really accusatory stuff. It was wild, lots of 'strings attached' stuff, lots of unspoken expectations,

and when my kid brain didn't understand or pick up on all their unspoken 'read our minds' expectations, they disowned me. But... I reacted in a way they didn't expect. Sort of like you, OP. I wrote them a letter back and said, 'OK, I will respect your disowning of me. I am now dead to you.

I understand. But **I am holding you to it.** You want me out of your life? OK. *I am out, forever.* Don't come back. You did this. Stick to it.' Of course they didn't stick to it. They came back, just like your parents. They didn't even have the decency to admit a mistake, though -- they just sent me a crate of presents,

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and expected to buy back in, no apology needed. I rejected the box of gifts. Importantly, it has been 35 years since they disowned me and I have never regretted it. My grandfather is dead. I kinda celebrated. My grandmother is still alive, but I haven't seen or heard from her in a decade now.

(And I only saw her a decade ago because of a marriage.) Most of my family is freaked out about this. My father -- even though he divorced my mom and these grandparents are on my mom's side -- is desperately upset with me over this, and he's kept his upset feelings about it for all 3+ decades.

He tells me that when they die I will profoundly regret not making up with them. But when my grandfather died, I told my dad I felt a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders, that his death was *good* to me. A relief. I told my dad I regret nothing. He told me he cannot believe that I have no heart, but it must be that I am heartless.

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His words didn't hurt me. What I realized is that some people are built very differently -- they are in an utter panic to make nice before everyone dies. But I don't need to wrap my relationships up with a pretty bow. I'm fine to say, 'That one failed, I put it in a metaphorical trash dump and left it behind.'

Other people, like my dad, cannot even fathom that thinking. 'If you leave it bad, won't you *feel bad?'* No. He might, but I won't. I tell you this because it's HUGELY important for you to know if you are built like me, or my dad. Are you lashing out at your parents right now just because they have profoundly hurt you,

but secretly you are desperate for them to make up? Do you really *need* that? If so, you gotta find a path to take them back, someday, and someday soon -- before they become hard and won't accept it. But if you are like me, then I want you to know something. All the people who are making you feel bad about this?

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They don't know your heart. And they don't have to live with your decisions. Only you do. And if it feels right to leave your family behind and start a new life without them, then it does. They'll tell you that you will regret it. But if you're like me, you won't.. Best wishes, figuring out who you are.. NTA.

These responses carry a punch, backing his choice while urging caution. The debate over forgiveness versus boundaries adds depth, leaving room for reflection.

This standoff with his parents is more than a grudge—it’s a stand for self-respect after a painful misjudgment. The man’s decision to keep them at arm’s length reflects a hard-earned lesson in trust. Whether he softens or holds firm, the choice is his to shape his peace. What would you do if family turned on you over a lie? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the dialogue going!

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