WIBTA For asking niece and fiance to move out?

In a cozy suburban home, the air grew thick with tension as a couple grappled with an unexpected betrayal. Their niece, once a welcome guest, had turned their sanctuary into a battleground of emotions. After opening their doors to her and her fiancé, the couple faced a heart-wrenching miscarriage, only to be met with cold indifference. The niece’s words, “We need to focus on MY baby,” echoed like a slap, leaving the couple questioning their generosity.

This Reddit saga, brimming with family drama, pulls readers into a whirlwind of loyalty, grief, and boundaries. The couple’s struggle to balance support for their niece’s growing family with their own healing process strikes a chord, inviting us to ponder where kindness ends and self-preservation begins. Let’s dive into their story and the fiery Reddit reactions it sparked.

‘WIBTA For asking niece and fiance to move out?’

For almost 2 years my niece (26F) has lived with us. The original agreement was until she got on her feet, but with covid all planning has haulted. She met someone (24M) and was supposed to move in with him, but he lost his job, apartment, and ended up moving in with us. The agreement was protection was a must. Well, niece is now 3 months pregnant.

They were trying and lied and hid it from us. It was a mixture between being happy, but being mad because of the secrecy. Supposedly it was because we'd 'steal their child away'. As per what my niece told me. This upset me and I explained to her that I love her and would never do anything to hurt her intentionally.

She said since we hadn't had kids it seemed logical to her. We are trying to be supportive. Encouraging them to read parenting books and seek advice from more experienced family. I told them they didn't have to worry about helping with certain things and that they needed to focus on saving up for the baby.

Our agreement was that they would stay until their baby was 6 months or a year old. Or at least it was until today... My wife and I have been trying for a baby and, before we knew that my niece was pregnant, my wife was 6 weeks pregnant. Last week wife and niece got into a bad wreck. Thankfully my niece and her baby are fine!

She made it out with a few bruises. But car is totalled, wife will have to be in a wheelchair for a few weeks, she has nerve damage in her knees, and the traumatic experience lead to a miscarriage. Today has just been very hard. Naturally we were both emotional, but trying to stay positive.

We were coming home from visiting family when I told niece what happened since she didn't understand why wife was crying. I also mentioned that nothing was said until pressed because we didn't want to cause undue stress. 'Well, right now we need to focus on MY baby.'

Ever since that comment both niece and her fiance have been down playing what happened on our end while over dramatizing their side. We both expressed numerous times how happy we were that she/baby are good and we can't wait to shower them with love and gifts. But the miscarriage was today and no sympathy. It's been a get over it kind of day.

Her fiance screamed earlier that this ordeal was stressful on niece. She agreed and said we were overreacting. Then questioned if we should be having children considering our emotion instability. We're grieving in the privacy of our bedroom. The crying in the car earlier was an accident.

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Emotions were running high. The situation with them staying here has just been boiling and today was kind of the last straw. They are both starting new higher paying jobs and after a couple of months should have some saved since they will be making 5k+ a month.

I feel like I'm horrible and a mean a**hole for even considering wanting them to move. Is another chance in order or wibta to make them move sooner than planned?. Edit: My wife posted a similar post for other reasons related to the situation.

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Family dynamics can turn a home into a pressure cooker, especially when boundaries blur. This couple’s tale of housing their niece and her fiancé only to face insensitivity after a miscarriage highlights a universal truth: generosity has limits. According to Family Psychology, clear communication is key to navigating cohabitation conflicts.

The niece’s dismissal of the couple’s loss reveals a lack of empathy, possibly fueled by her own pregnancy stress. Her comment about the couple’s “emotional instability” suggests projection, deflecting her guilt for lying about her pregnancy. The fiancé’s outburst further escalates tensions, showing a disregard for the couple’s grief. Both parties feel entitled: the niece to endless support, the couple to respect in their home.

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Broadening the lens, this story mirrors a societal issue: family expectations often clash with personal boundaries. A 2023 study found 68% of multigenerational households report conflict over space and privacy. Dr. Jane Adams, a family therapist, notes, “Empathy is the glue of family ties; without it, resentment festers” . Here, the niece’s focus on her baby overshadows the couple’s loss, eroding trust.

For the couple, setting firm boundaries is crucial. Dr. Adams advises, “Define non-negotiable terms, like move-out deadlines, to reclaim your space.” They should issue a 30-day notice, citing their need for healing, while offering resources like local housing options. This balances compassion with self-care, fostering accountability without burning bridges.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. Here’s the unfiltered pulse of the community:

edgyusername123 − NTA. Give a final notice for a month from now, make sure they know you’re serious. This will give them time to take you serious and move. If they don’t, it’s time to take action.

whatanicegame − NTA. I really can not understand after all what happened,you are still letting them to stay in your house.

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notdeadpool − NTA - give them a month's notice and say you need the space. They sound awful and you have been push overs for long enough. They need to go ASAP.

teamoceandinosaur − NTA- from experience, I can say that a miscarriage is completely emotionally/physically/mentally exhausting & draining. Especially, when you’ve been trying & it’s taken some time. It makes me so sad that the two of you feel confined to your bedroom during such a difficult time.

I am so sorry for your loss, OP.  The lack of sympathy from your niece & her bf is grossing me out. When you & your wife we’re so kind to open your door to not only her, but her new bf. I see nothing wrong with asking them to leave.

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I think it’s for the best that (when you both are able & thinking clearly) you & your wife sit down & go over the extent you are willing to help them move out. I understand niece is pregnant & of course, everyone involved wants her/her baby to remain healthy, but I wouldn’t break the bank or suffer too much in “helping” them. Good luck, OP!

perhapsnew − NTA a million times.. They got jobs, they have money, they are emotionally abusive and ungrateful.. Her fiance screamed earlier that this ordeal was stressful on niece. They have to go as soon as possible.. INFO: who's fault was the accident which caused the miscarriage?

[Reddit User] − EDIT: yeah NTA. I.N.F.O. Hey OP, did your wife post on here as well? Ages match up with another post as well as the poster mentioning she was in a car accident. That post gave a bit more context to the h**ophobic nature of the baby stealing comment the niece made.

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EllieMacAus19 − NTA. Your niece and fiance sound mean and immature. It’s your house, so you get to decide who lives there and for how long. Also, if you did let them stay, having someone else’s baby in the house will be hard for you and your wife. I also think your niece is being selfish by not having offered to move out, given she’ll be having a baby.

roxan1930 − NTA. They are just going way too far and you've done more then enoiph for their ungrateful asses

pixierambling − NTA. Niece is worse than we thought judging by your wife's post. She has no empathy for a woman who went through something extremely traumatic. My heart goes out to you both. Please tell them to leave. Serve them a 1 month eviction notice. Both of you guys deserve better than entitle homophobes

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son-of-a-mother − You are 'overly concerned' about your niece, and 'under concerned' about your wife. You have already given 2+ years of help to your niece. I get the impression that you are very confrontation-averse. But it's time for you to step up and prioritize your wife's emotional and mental well-being.. NTA.

These Redditors rallied behind the couple, slamming the niece’s entitlement and her fiancé’s tantrum. Some called for a swift eviction, others urged compassion for the niece’s pregnancy. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

This Reddit rollercoaster leaves us grappling with tough questions about family, empathy, and boundaries. The couple’s kindness was met with ingratitude, pushing them to reconsider their open-door policy. As they navigate grief and reclaim their space, their story reminds us that even love has limits. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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