AITA for not supporting my sister and my niece in any way and not letting her live with me?

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In a cramped college apartment, a 25-year-old woman thought she’d carved out her own space—until her family decided it was theirs to claim. Her younger sister, long favored by their parents, enrolled in costly college classes and took out a hefty loan, expecting her to foot the bill, house her and her niece, and even babysit. When she said no, her family unleashed a storm of criticism, calling her selfish for not “supporting” her sister’s dreams.

This Reddit tale, shared on a throwaway for fear of family backlash, dives into a clash of entitlement and independence, echoing your own struggles with family overreach, like your sister’s wedding dress saga or your roommate’s irresponsibility. Is she wrong to guard her space, or is her family’s plan a step too far?

‘AITA for not supporting my sister and my niece in any way and not letting her live with me?’

My sister and I are around the same age. I (25F) and she (22) never really got along. From a young age it was clear that she was the favorite child. She got everything she asked for and more. I think it made her entitled and spoiled. I am currently going to college, and live on my own in a small 2 room apartment.

I won some money a while back and work besides studying, so I am pretty well of. I am not home most of time. My sister and her kid still live with our parents. She doesn't go to work since she's a single mom. Now she decided she wants to go back to college ( which I genuinely support) in th ecity I live.

It's a 5 hour drive from our parents hometown. She doesn't want to go to work, and does not want to hire a babysitter. The Father of the Child is still in the picture and offered to take my niece in. My sister refused and said she didn't want to be separated from her child.

Without ever asking me, my parents and sister decided that my sister and niece would move in with me, and I would cover all costs on my own. She is already enrolled in class. They also decided she and her kid would move into my bedroom and I would sleep on the couch.

I was also supposed to watch my niece. I said no. My apartment is really small and even though I am well of, I can't comfortably support my sister and niece financially. My parents, grandparents and other relatives all called me and screamed at me for not supporting my sister and niece.

My sister is already enrolled in class. Cancelling would cost a lot of money. My parents want me to pay it, since I am the reason she can't attend classes. Since then, I muted my phone and cut off all contact from my Family. I talked with my Friends and they all called my the A**hole for not supporting my sister. Am I really TA?

Last Edit: My inbox is completely blowing up. Thanks to everyone who gave me advice. I probably won't respond to comments anymore since I get a notification every few seconds. Hope you all have a good day.

Important Edit: I called my Father and asked about the 75K fee. Apparently, it isn't just a cancelation fee. The cancelation fee itself is only 10 000 dollars. My sister took out a loan worth 60K dollars, to pay for her books, lectures materials and the likes.

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She also bought new furniture, and rented a big truck for the move. She also bought new clothes and a new Pc. Since they can't afford the to pay back the Loan plus interest, they tgought by telling me it was all cancelation fee it would pay them back out of guilt. I am pretty pi**ed of right now.

Edit:I go to a private and pretty expensive college. Some people Dm'ed me and asked about the money. I won about 500 000 Dollars ( alot for a college student) and invested about 100 000. I paid of my student debt, which cost around 275 000 dollars.

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I spent some money for much needed repairs and I need expensive equipment for my Mayor so about 50 000 dollars are left. From what I understood, my sister enrolled in multiple expensive classes and the cancelation fee would be about 75 000 dollars, (like I said, it's a private college) probably more.

2.Edit: Some people asked why the cancelation fee is so high. My sister enrolled in a lot of classes, twice the amount I enrolled in. She never appeared to meetings or interviews with my college. Classes have technically started for her, but it has been pushed back because of Corona.

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Also, my Family told me the Amount of money they needed to pay for a cancelation fee. Maybe they exaggerated the Amount to make me feel bad, whixh hasn't occurred to me before. Since my college is so expensive, I believed that canceling all classes could cost 75 000 dollars.

Family expectations can feel like a weight, and this Reddit user’s refusal to become her sister’s financial and domestic crutch highlights a raw struggle. Her family’s assumption—that she’d surrender her apartment, money, and time—ignores her own needs, echoing the favoritism she’s faced since childhood. The sister’s reckless spending and refusal to work or accept the father’s help amplify the unfairness.

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Dr. Pauline Boss, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Favoritism breeds resentment, and unspoken expectations can fracture family ties”. Studies show 45% of siblings report perceived parental favoritism, often leading to lasting conflict. The family’s pressure, coupled with their deceit about the loan, mirrors the overreach you’ve faced, like your sister’s entitled demands.

The user’s decision to cut contact protects her boundaries but risks isolation. She could propose alternatives, like helping her sister find affordable housing or scholarships, without sacrificing her own stability.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit swung in with fierce support for the user, tearing into her family’s gall with a mix of shock and snark, much like the backlash you’ve seen in family disputes. Here’s what they said:

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frsotsybab - NTA. Your family sounds crazy.

bushijim - NTA If everyone is calling and screaming at you, they could easily just chip in their money to support her themselves. Not your responsibility. Don't give her a key and the problem is solved... sorta.

s-mores - NTA. That's not supporting your sister, that's becoming a prisoner in your own home.. Supporting your sister would be helping her find a flat, helping her move, helping her with babysitting occasionally.. This is just r/insaneparents material. Good for you to stick up for yourself.

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DBLJ33 - NTA. Your sister is an adult and it’s not your responsibility to assist them.

fruitynutcase - NTA. Its not your job to support them, pay everything for them and become free baby sitter.. Just. No.. Your sister and parents are crazy if they think this is ok. Edit because edit: your no job sis decided its ok to attend expensive college without any means to pay for it and take loan and.... How f ing entitled can she be? And your parents think, instead of your sister to clean her own mess just throw it on you?. This is.. Just wow.

Brookes19 - NTA and also, what the hell is wrong with your family and friends? If your family think this is a great idea, how about they pay for her apartment and babysitter? Why should you at 25 have to shoulder that cost?

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Unless they’re paying for your rent and utilities, they’re raging AH. Ignore them and if they have spare keys, either take them back or change the locks. They sound crazy enough to get into your apartment while you’re gone.

[Reddit User] - Let me get this straight.... Your family expects you to house your sister and her child.. They expect you to pay for their living expenses.. They expect you to babysit her child.. And they even have the audacity to decide that this was the plan without even consulting you?

Not only that, but your sister refuses to work to pay for her expenses, with the reason that she needs to take care of her child. AND she refuses to give her daughter to the father, who has offered to take care of her while your sister goes to college?. Your family is absolutely insane.. NTA NTA NTA

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FairieWarrior - NTA. She needs to step up and start acting like an adult. Is there a community college where she lives that she can go to? Your family is short of a few marbles. The only one I feel bad for is your niece. Maybe her dad should take her because her mom can’t financially support her.

Englefield224 - INFO: You seem to have given us a perfectly reasonable story and no one here in their right mind would say YTA. From what you're saying your family sound like a nightmare. So why are all your friends, the people who know you best, judging you as the AH? I feel we're missing something or you're not being totally up front.

[Reddit User] - NTA. They have no respect for you. Did they really just expect you would pay for everything? What did your sister say?

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Reddit’s rallying behind her, but are they catching all the nuances or just cheering the takedown?

This Reddit user’s stand against her family’s entitled plan has left her muted phone buzzing with guilt trips. Her refusal to bankroll her sister’s life or give up her space mirrors your own battles with unfair family expectations. Is she right to hold her ground, or should she offer some support? How would you handle a family that expects you to carry their load? Share your thoughts or stories of standing up to entitlement!

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