AITA for telling my mom to get lost?

In a small, cluttered living room, a 17-year-old girl, let’s call her Mia, grips her phone, her heart sinking as her mother’s voice chirps about a water park outing. For years, Mia’s felt like an afterthought, sidelined by her mom’s new family of stepkids. Promised a rare day just for them, Mia’s hope crumbles when her mom casually mentions the stepkids joining. Her frustration boils over, and she snaps, telling her mom to “get lost.” Now, the air is thick with hurt and anger.

This isn’t just about a canceled outing; it’s about a daughter craving her mother’s attention and a family fractured by favoritism. Mia’s story, shared on Reddit, resonates with anyone who’s felt pushed aside by those meant to love them most. As she navigates her pain, the Reddit community rallies with fiery support. Let’s dive into this emotional tug-of-war.

‘AITA for telling my mom to get lost?’

I (17f) live with my dad full time and I have for about two years now. My parents divorced when I was 4 and I lived primarily with mom for a year, because she moved without the courts permission, then dad moved to stop the fight in court dragging out forever, because they didn't return me immediately upon that.

It soured things pretty bad between them. My dad was pissed that she just upped and moved without saying anything and my mom was pissed that he brought it to court only to move anyway. Mom remarried when I was 11. Her husband had three very small kids, think literal babies and toddlers.

She jumped into being their mom and I got forced to accept that I wasn't going to have time with just my mom again. She'd always insist on including them yet I was very aware she spent time with her stepkids individually. Mom always said they were so young, that stuff was bound to be just her and them sometimes.

I got mad at her over it and then over time it got worse. I didn't just lose my mom but I was expected to babysit often enough. So stay with the kids while mom went to grab groceries, babysit every Saturday night I was there for her and her husbands date night, babysit for whatever funeral, party or wedding came up.

I know it's all part of being a family. But I did not consider myself part of the family at that point. I wanted time with my mom. Instead I was getting more time with her stepkids, who were so small that it was work, and also meant they were bonding with me while I just didn't want to be around them.

Dad was more than willing to go to court and fight for me to stay with him. He won, with the condition that I see my mom once a month. Which I do to keep him out of trouble with court. But the last few months mom has been attempting to increase that, but never just us, always with her family. I told her I will not join them for stuff. I do not want time with her family. Come back to me when it's just us.

So she called the other day and told me she wanted us to do a water park together, that it had a nice burger place nearby we could go to. I asked if it would be just the two of us and she said yes. But then in the middle of the conversation she starts dropping talk of the kids, and I pointed out she said they wouldn't be coming.

She told me she never said that. I got mad. Told her she would never learn. That I wasn't interested in going and to get lost and better yet, forget I even exist, because I'll be doing that with her.. She got so mad and said I was out of line.. AITA?

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Mia’s outburst reflects years of feeling like an unpaid nanny rather than a cherished daughter. Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, notes, “When parents prioritize stepchildren over their own, it can erode trust and self-worth, especially in adolescence” (Psychology Today). Mia’s mother’s insistence on including her stepkids, despite promising one-on-one time, dismisses Mia’s need for connection, deepening old wounds from her parents’ messy divorce.

This situation ties into a broader issue: blended family dynamics. A 2022 study from the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 40% of children in blended families report feeling neglected when parents focus on stepchildren (Wiley Online Library). Mia’s role as a babysitter, coupled with her mother’s failure to honor their agreement, signals a lack of emotional priority. Her anger is a natural response to repeated boundary violations.

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Dr. Damour suggests that teens like Mia need clear, consistent boundaries to feel valued. Mia’s mother could rebuild trust by committing to solo time, like a coffee date, without backtracking. Mia, in turn, could express her hurt calmly, perhaps in a letter, to avoid escalating conflict. Family therapy could help address favoritism and set expectations (GoodTherapy). Mia’s dad should also advocate for her emotional needs, reinforcing her right to say no to unwanted family events.

For others in blended families, experts recommend open communication and structured time for each child. Mia’s mother must own her misstep and prioritize Mia’s needs, even if it’s just a burger date. Mia’s boundary—demanding one-on-one time—is a step toward self-advocacy, not rebellion.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit squad didn’t hold back, dishing out support and shade like a family barbecue gone wild. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

Individual_Ad_9213 − NTA. Every parent should try to spend some one-to-one time with their children. A visit to a burger joint isn't that much and your mom's not willing to even give you that.

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remythe1strat − NTA you've made your boundaries clear & she keeps stomping on them

maeionic − NTA. Your mother is the one out of line here. She's been neglecting your emotional needs, and then has the audacity to start demanding things from you. Parents like this hardly ever realize they're in the wrong, never mind apologize. Best to move on x

strangr55 − ...she 'invited' you so you could manage/play with the kids at the water park! She has basically used you as a nanny/live in maid since she remarried. For whatever reason, she does not want an actual parent- child relationship with you. You were right to put it in plain terms. NTA

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DistrictEquivalent79 − NTA. You are not the daughter, you are the unpaid nanny. Your mom doesn't want to make any effort to spend time with you alone, so... You were right to speak your mind!!!! Maybe your mom will get smart now, and maybe not.

But don't worry about your dad getting in trouble. You are plenty old enough to make certain decisions on your own now. If you kick mom out of your life, nobody could get your dad in trouble for that, in any way.. It sounds like your mom got exactly what she deserved, honestly.

Chickpotatoes − NTA I do not know why she is specifically making an effort to not have one on one time with you, but I suppose life is what it is. You expressed your wants and if she truly wanted to spend time with you she would listen.

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sarcosaurus − NTA. Best case scenario it'll be a wake-up call for her, though chances of that are unfortunately low. But you weren't out of line, you just told her honestly the consequences of her actions and the way she's made you feel. She didn't want to hear it because she doesn't want to take responsibility for it. I'm sorry your mom is such a jerk to you :c

Dolphin-on-e − NTA. Your feelings are completely valid here. She treated you like a live-in babysitter for years, then wonders why you don't want to spend time with her. She needs to learn to prioritize a relationship with you or she's going to lose you. She has no right to be mad at you for what you said, you were right

PearlsOfWisdom27 − I'm so sorry OP. You should have ALWAYS come first. You are her only child. I dont understand parents like this. You deserve better. Thankfully you have your Father. She just wanted you to go on rides and run around chasing her stepkids at the water park. This was never about you, unfortunately. Just stop talking to her. You're old enough now were the courts wont say a thing.. NTA

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ComprehensiveBand586 − NTA. I bet that if you spent time with her family again, you'd get roped into babysitting all over again.

These Redditors rallied behind Mia, slamming her mom’s neglect while cheering her stand. But do their fiery takes capture the whole story, or are they just fanning the flames?

Mia’s story is a heart-wrenching reminder that love requires action, not just promises. Her mother’s failure to prioritize her has left scars, but Mia’s bold boundary-setting is a step toward healing. A honest talk could mend their bond, but it’ll take effort from both sides. Have you ever felt sidelined by family, or had to demand the attention you deserve? What would you do in Mia’s shoes to rebuild or move on? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation flowing!

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