AITA for moving across the country and splitting the five of us up (Quints)?

Growing up as one of quintuplets means you share not only your childhood with your siblings but also an unbreakable bond—at least, that’s what most of us believe. For Eric (28M), life has always been a mix of laughter, sibling squabbles, and the occasional feeling of being stuck in a never-ending group hug.

Despite a relatively smooth upbringing, the dynamics among the quintuplets have always been interesting, especially with Aiden’s overbearing ego and the unique challenges of being the only gay sibling in a tight-knit family.

Tensions came to a head when family gatherings turned into battlegrounds of opinions. After being unceremoniously sidelined at his brother’s wedding—thanks to his future sister-in-law’s strict, exclusionary rules—Eric finally decided that it was time to forge his own path.

Recently, while discussing future plans with his long-distance partner, he announced his decision to move to Seattle. This revelation sent shockwaves through his family, with some accusing him of “breaking up the five of you.” Is Eric the AH for choosing personal growth over maintaining an unyielding sibling bond? Let’s dive in.

‘AITA for moving across the country and splitting the five of us up (Quints)?’

Family dynamics, especially in a set of quintuplets, are incredibly complex. When you share not only your genes but also your earliest memories with your siblings, the expectations of solidarity and constant togetherness can feel overwhelming. However, it’s also natural—and healthy—for individuals to seek independence as they mature. As Eric navigates his feelings of exclusion and a longing for a fresh start, we see the classic tension between familial duty and personal identity.

Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, once stated, “A healthy relationship nurtures individual identity within a supportive framework.” Eric’s decision to move to Seattle is a prime example of this principle. Despite the deep bonds of being raised together, he recognizes that personal growth sometimes requires stepping out on one’s own. His desire to build a life with his partner in a new city isn’t a rejection of his family—it’s a pursuit of self-fulfillment that every individual deserves.

The sting of being excluded from his brother’s wedding, based solely on his sexual orientation, appears to have been a turning point for Eric. It wasn’t just about the missed celebration; it was about feeling unwanted in a milestone moment of family unity.

Dr. Gottman’s work reminds us that when personal identities clash with family expectations, open communication and mutual respect become essential. Eric’s feelings are valid, and his decision to embrace change is rooted in the desire to be true to himself rather than clinging to a dysfunctional tradition.

Moreover, moving to Seattle symbolizes more than just a change of scenery. It represents Eric’s commitment to his long-distance relationship and his aspiration for a life that reflects his values and dreams.

Although his siblings’ protests might come from a place of fear—fear of losing the closeness they once shared—the reality is that life is about evolution. Each sibling must eventually choose between holding on to the past or stepping confidently into the future. And sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is to honor your own path.

In this light, Eric’s move isn’t about breaking up the quintuplet bond; it’s about growing into an individual separate from a collective identity that no longer fits him. His choice is a reminder that while family connections are invaluable, they should never come at the cost of one’s personal happiness and authenticity.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users overwhelmingly rallied behind Eric, echoing sentiments that family members are not obligated to tether their entire lives together. Many commented that moving is a natural part of growing up—after all, “you’re not in the womb anymore!”

They highlighted how being excluded from his brother’s wedding already contributed to Eric feeling like the outsider, and that his decision to move is both understandable and commendable. The consensus? True family bonds endure despite physical distance, and personal growth should always be celebrated.

Ultimately, choosing to move to Seattle isn’t about abandoning family—it’s about embracing the opportunity to build a life that feels authentic to you. Eric’s decision to pursue his happiness and independence is both brave and justified, even if it means redefining what family means along the way.

What do you think? Should family ties remain unbreakable, or is it healthy to pursue your own path even if it means shaking up long-held bonds? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!