AITA for yelling at a friend when she accused me of faking my accent?

A virtual D&D session hums with laughter until a friend’s sharp jab cuts through. A young woman, her voice tinged with an Icelandic lilt from her parents’ heritage, faces accusations of faking her accent. The relentless badgering stings, especially for someone autistic navigating social cues like arrows in a storm.

Her breaking point hits when the friend calls her “embarrassing,” demanding a “normal” voice. Her tearful outburst—shouting and blocking the friend—shocks the group. Was she too harsh, or was this a stand against harassment? Readers, dive into this tale of identity and raw emotion.

‘AITA for yelling at a friend when she accused me of faking my accent?’

I was raised in America, but my parents are originally from Iceland. Why they moved here I could never explain, but their accents are pretty strong and I was homeschooled til I was around 8. I have an accent, not as strong as theirs since English is my first (and sadly only) language but definitely it's still noticeable.

I was talking to some friends from high school a few weeks ago and one of them said 'I honestly thought you'd stop pretending to have that stupid accent when you went to college.' I was confused and asked what she meant, and she said 'it's pretty obviously fake, you sound so much more American than your parents.'

I kind of just laughed it off and said 'no haha this is actually my real voice and has been for my whole life' and she rolled her eyes but we moved on. Since then she's been badgering me about it, mostly in passing comments so I wasn't sure if she was serious (I'm autistic) but multiple times in every conversation.

Sometimes I do this valley girl type accent for jokes and I did it the other day and that friend latched onto it as proof my accent was fake. She kept nagging me to 'talk like a normal person' and 'stop lying you've been caught' etc but my breaking point was her snapping at me that 'you're so f\*cking embarrassing,

it was ok when we were kids but you're an adult and I can't keep associating with you if you don't let this go.' I think something in me broke for a minute cuz I started crying and let loose on her. I was probably being way too loud and harsh tbh but I screamed that she's insane, an awful 'friend,'

and it's just my g**damn voice and she has no right to complain when her own is so b\*tchy and grating. I then kicked her from the call and blocked her on everything. My other friends that were in the call were pretty quiet for a while, we tried to go back to our game but things felt a little tense and one of them said that I shouldn't have gone off on her like that and she didn't mean any harm.

I'm fed up and don't want anything to do with her anymore. My other friends think she deserves a second chance, and one of them said they thought she was right. I do think I was harsh but I also don't feel like giving her more chances to harass me. AITA for this?

Edit: I also have a disorder that causes psychosis so I'm pretty susceptible to being disturbed by stuff like this.

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Edit 2: Wow I was not expecting this to blow up overnight the way it did, thanks for the awards and all of the nice comments! I don't think I can really reply to every comment but I wanted to acknowledge some of them here. Firstly these are not my only friends,

just a group from high school I played D&D with (probably another reason she thought I was faking, I'm good at accents and have done Irish, Welsh, French, Romanian, and American for various characters over the years). My other friends are pretty damn good, but I've been sticking with these people because they'll play D&D with me and that's not a good enough reason anymore.

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Yes, it is my real and natural speaking voice. A lot of people have pointed out that autistic people tend to pick up peculiar accents that don't align with where they were raised. I had no idea this was a thing but it makes sense! I'm not really an expert but I can see how it might be the case for me.

It's very interesting to hear other people's stories of how their/friends' accents developed and changed, I don't have a whole lot of other immigrant friends so I really have no concept of what is normal and what's not. Someone asked me to update once I know what I'll be doing,

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I'll probably just edit this post when that's the case. I'm still groggy but I'll be messaging the other friends in that group today. I don't think I'm going to reach out to her, we've had some great times but she's not exactly a close friend. Thank you all so much for your stories and your time! <3

Edit 3: I talked to two of the friends. Friend 1 who didn't really speak up says he's sorry he didn't say anything, the whole situation was uncomfortable and overwhelming and he wasn't sure how to say the right thing (he's also on the spectrum and has always been very sheepish and a bit of a doormat so I believe it).

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Friend 2 who said the other girl had a point hadn't been around for a lot of the harassment and thought I was just being overly defensive when I snapped. Friend 1 and I explained to her what's been happening and she apologized. I'm still bitter but can sort of see where Friend 2 was coming from.

The 'friend' who accused me of faking my accent tried to call me a few times yesterday and today but I had been ignoring it. She left a voicemail asking me to call back and 'hear her out.' I begrudgingly did and she talked a lot about how much attention I get for my accent (it's really not much aside from people asking where I'm from)

and it doesn't make sense for me to have an accent as strong as I do unless I was putting effort into keeping it. She says she accepts that it's 'probably' the way my voice is but I can't blame her for being suspicious. Honestly I just find her exhausting at this point.

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Friendships can be a sanctuary or a battleground, and this woman’s clash over her accent reveals the pain of invalidation. Her Icelandic lilt, shaped by her parents and autism’s influence on speech patterns, is core to her identity—yet her friend’s accusations turned it into a target. The friend’s persistence, escalating to public shaming, mirrors bullying tactics, especially harmful given the woman’s neurodivergence and psychosis.

This reflects a broader issue: misunderstanding neurodiverse traits. A 2022 study found 70% of autistic individuals face social stigma, often tied to “unusual” speech or behavior. Her friend’s fixation on a “normal” voice ignores how autism can shape unique speech patterns, like adopting parental accents.

Dr. Stephen Shore, an autistic advocate, notes, “Authenticity in self-expression, including speech, is vital for mental health. Invalidating it can erode trust.” Here, the woman’s outburst was a defense of her truth. She could consider explaining her accent’s roots to her friends, fostering understanding, while setting firm boundaries with the accuser.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit crew brought their A-game, dishing out spicy takes with a dash of wit. Here’s what they chimed in with:

killyergawds - NTA. She was bullying you and harassing you, she got exactly what she deserved. And you were correct, she's not your friend.

Youreplayinggod - NTA. What a weird thing to accuse someone of faking. Especially since she knows your family is Icelandic. Does she think your Elizabeth Holmes or something? Good on you for setting her straight.

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Ninerism - NTA. How can the others they say she didn't mean any harm? You just learned what your 'friend' has been secretly thinking this whole time. You weren't harsh, you put a B in her place. You've been caught? Nah, F that. If she wants a second chance, she has a lot of apologising and explaining to do. Still, I'd take it with a grain of salt. Part of growing up is getting rid of the excess and moving on.

Keraph - Your 'friend' was an a**hole. You can apologize for blowing up like that, but only if she accepts the fact that she has to apologize for her behaviour as well.

Audginator - NTA at all, and please never let this get to you!! I was raised in Texas and as a kid I had a southern accent. Not like redneck heavy but still a bit of a drawl. I was bullied for it, to the best of my recollection, while in elementary. In Texas.

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Albeit they also bullied me for many other things, but one of the ways I made myself as invisible as possible was forcing myself to lose the accent. I spoke as properly as possible, and still do sometimes. My accent still pops out now and then so I know its not totally gone, but it is no longer something that just -is- anymore, which makes me sad.

Princesszelda24 - NTA. She's a d**k. You may have freaked out a little, but she legitimately was super out of line. Leave her blocked. If people don't like your response, they can decide to no longer associated with you.

Strasiak - My situtation is flipped, I'm Icelandic and have lived in Iceland my entire life. I speak english with such a fluid transatlantic accent I have been accused of lying about where I'm from when I travel. I would have thought that it was pretty common knowledge that immigrant kids almost always have a little accent due to I don't know....learning to speak from their parents??

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Moral: s**tty people just find something, ANYTHING to complain about to put a person down to feel more powerful, and its most often things people cant do s**t about. F**k them. Ditch the 'friend' and don't feel bad about sticking up for yourself.. Next time, tell her to 'fokkaðu þér fíflið þitt.'

darknebulus - NTA AT ALL WHAT!? You didn't do a single thing wrong bruh. Your friend is a massive AH. First off, I can't even understand why an accent would be an issue to her, much less why she was so insistent that it was fake.

Regardless of the exact words you used, I think any outburst is justifiable at that point. Any friend supporting her is very clearly in the wrong as well and what you said is 100% facts. Do NOT worry yourself over this at all.

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whitewitch1913 - NTA I am an Australian lady with a parent who was born in the USA. I had an American accent just from being around my dad despite never living in the USA. While it was never pure USA, it was there enough everyone commented.

As I've grown up it's gone away mostly (as has my dad) but I still have words where the accent comes out really strong. It's wierd what sticks and what doesn't. Your friends kind of suck. While blowing up wasn't great, the reality is those 'jokes' can get hurtful and a real friend would stop when you ask.

AiTAthrowitaway12 - NTA 'she didn't mean any harm' Uh, are your friends on the same planet? How is bullying a supposed friend and outright stating that you've been faking your accent for your entire life not harmful or intentional?

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These bold opinions raise a cheeky question: are they spot-on in roasting the friend, or is there room for a second chance in this messy saga?

This woman’s story is a raw reminder that our voices—literal and figurative—carry our truth. Her explosive reaction may have been loud, but it was born from defending who she is against a friend’s cruel skepticism. Reddit’s rallying cry of “NTA” cheers her on, but the lingering tension with her group leaves us wondering: where’s the line between standing up and burning bridges? Have you ever had to defend a piece of your identity? What would you do in her shoes? Drop your thoughts below!

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