AITA for telling a friend the real reason why a coworker wants to date him?

Picture a quiet office lunch break, where a casual chat between friends takes a dark turn. For one 24-year-old woman, a coworker’s tearful confession in a parking lot reveals a chilling plan: Kate, fresh off a breakup, is hunting for a blonde, blue-eyed man to father her unborn child, deceiving him into believing it’s his. When her friend Ben, the only guy in the office matching that look, starts dating Kate, the OP’s loyalty is tested.

Her vague warnings backfire, with Ben accusing her of jealousy rooted in his old crush on her. Frustrated, she spills the truth, shattering their romance and sparking office chaos. This tale of tangled friendships, deception, and tough calls dives into the murky waters of loyalty and honesty in a workplace drama that’s anything but ordinary. Was her truth-telling heroic, or did it cross a line?

‘AITA for telling a friend the real reason why a coworker wants to date him?’

I 24f have a friend from work 26m Ben. Over the years coworkers told me Ben was interested in me but I brushed it off. When I met Ben I had a bf who is now my husband, Ben met him and was even invited to our wedding so the thought of him liking me was ridiculous.

I ended up confronting him about it and he said that he did like me at first but stopped once he realized I was taken. My husband knows this and is totally fine with it. I never saw Ben as anything more then a friend.

2 months ago I cought a coworker Kate 23f crying in the parking lot after work, I asked what was wrong and she told me her bf broke up with her and left the country after they found out she got pregnant and she insisted on keeping the baby.

Kate is white with blue eyes and blonde hair and so is her ex. Most people in my country are tan and have brown eyes and black hair. This info is important later on. After the breakup Kate went out on dates everyday, the guys had one thing in common: blue eyes, blonde hair.

I joked that she must have a type but she told me that she was looking for someone to father her baby so they had to look similar to her ex so the baby could pass as theirs.. This horrified me but it wasn't my place to tell her anything.

A month ago Ben and I had lunch where he told me he started dating Kate. Ben is the only guy in our office with blonde hair and blue eyes. I told him dating Kate might not be the best idea. He asked why and I gave him some excuse on how they're not compatible in my opinion.

After lunch I went up to Kate and told her what she's doing is wrong and asked her to not do this to my friend, she laughed it off and said it's ok and he won't find out. I stayed quiet for a while but eventually told Ben he should seriously stop dating Kate.

He said he figured I'll try to break them up because I'm jealous. He said I kept stringing him along for years because he's such a 'nice' guy and now that he is meeting another woman I realized what I missed out on. I was disgusted before finally saying to not come crying to me when he realizes Kate is only dating him so another man's baby could have a father.

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I stopped talking to Ben shortly after and everything was relatively peaceful in the office, that was until Kate announced she's pregnant. I could see the color drain from Bens face as he looked in my direction. A huge fight broke out between the two after Ben demanded a paternity test while Kate tried to convince him it wasn't necessary..

Kate called me later screaming that I ruined her life so my guess is they broke up. The thing is, they really do deserve each other so I'm starting to wonder whether I made the right decision by telling Ben the truth. If I haven't they would've probably gotten married and the baby would've had a loving father to look after him.. AITA?. Edit: English is not my first language so forgive me if I made any spelling mistakes.

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Honesty among friends is a cornerstone, but timing and delivery matter. Kate’s plan to deceive Ben into raising another man’s child—known as paternity fraud—is ethically and legally fraught. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist, notes, “Deception about paternity undermines trust and can have lifelong consequences” .

The OP’s initial hesitation to reveal Kate’s scheme was understandable—meddling in others’ relationships risks backlash. Her vague warnings, though, fueled Ben’s misinterpretation, rooted in his past feelings for her. His “nice guy” jab suggests lingering resentment, but her final disclosure was a protective act, sparing him potential heartbreak. Kate’s laughter at the OP’s plea to stop shows a lack of remorse, justifying the intervention.

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Dr. Saltz advises direct, compassionate communication in such dilemmas. The OP could’ve shared the truth sooner, framing it as concern for Ben’s future, to avoid the jealousy accusation. Her delay, while human, risked complicity in Kate’s deception. Ben’s demand for a paternity test post-announcement shows her warning hit home, though the fallout strained their friendship.

For resolution, the OP could reach out to Ben, acknowledging the messy delivery but reaffirming her intent to protect him. Workplace boundaries with Kate should stay firm, given her hostility. Therapy or a trusted confidant could help the OP navigate guilt over the drama, ensuring she prioritizes her own peace while learning from the clash.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit crew dove into this office saga like it was a prime-time drama, dishing out cheers and critiques with gusto. It’s like a break room buzz where everyone’s got a hot take. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

ThrowAwayTheBS122132 − NTA. Kate is an AH and Ben should stop being so full of himself. “Stringing him on cuz he’s a nice guy” ? Jesus f**k, dude.

spicy_girllll − NTA What she was doing is called baby trapping. Ben shouldn't have to be a step-in father to a child without prior knowledge/consent and you, in a way, saved this man from finding out later on.

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AClassyStabbin − NTA for the telling. ​ however the way you approached telling your friend was really stupid and of course he was gonna think you were trying to break them up because you were jealous when You were actively avoiding telling him why you didnt want him to date this woman. Next time be actually honest with your friends instead of trying to meddle without meddling you can’t have it both ways.

Tasty-Biscotti355 − NTA - honestly you're kinda the ah for looking for someone to father her baby so they had to look similar to her ex so the baby could pass as theirs. This horrified me but it wasn't my place to tell her anything.You were going to let someone take the fall and ruin their life cause it's not your place.

Common decency and humanity makes it your place.. He asked why and I gave him some excuse But he was your friend at this point. How could you not get your friend out of harms way? What did this coworker do for you that you put her above your friends?

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Agreeable_Giraffe_63 − NTA for telling him but you were being an absolute s**t friend for not immediately telling him she was only trying to trap him. You were about to let this girl ruin this guys life for what exactly? And apparently the only reason why you told Ben the truth was because he pissed you off

EroeSwim − ESH.. Kate for trying to trick Ben into thinking he was her baby daddy.. OP for being a bad friend and not telling Ben the truth from the beginning.. Ben for pulling the 'nice guy' act when finally being told the truth.

TheKingpling − Many questions: 1. Was she looking for someone that matches the baby daddy so that she can lie and say that the new person is the father? 2. When you say they deserve each other, are you saying that out of spite or do you mean they actually do make a good match.. Either way you told the truth and you are not the a**hole for that so clear NTA for me.

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Steve12345678911 − ESH - Kate obviously a lot and you for delivering your message with all this fog around it. You were right to warn him. Much of this could have been avoided if you simply told him from the getgo what she was doing instead of this 'right for eachother' spiel.. And now you think he deserves it? For what? Not believing you when you were lying?. So ESH, except for Ben.

believingunbeliever − ESH.. Kate for attempting paternity fraud.. Ben for his nice guy mentality.. You for not simply being upfront with Ben and even considering being complicit in paternity fraud. Also If you're going to give lousy excuses on why you're trying to break up a couple don't be surprised it's construed as you being jealous.

howyoudoin06 − YTA You tried to play coy with the truth when trying to “warn” him. His reaction was a natural response to your approach. You should either have spilled the beans completely on the first go or kept out of his affairs completely.

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Redditors mostly backed the OP for exposing Kate’s scheme, slamming her baby-trapping as unethical, but some roasted her coy approach. Ben’s “nice guy” attitude took heat, too. Do these takes cut through the fog, or just add to the office gossip?

This workplace whirlwind shows how truth can both save and sting. The OP’s warning spared Ben a life-altering lie, but her hesitant delivery sparked chaos. Reddit’s split on her tact, but the core issue—Kate’s deception—demands accountability. Have you ever had to spill a tough truth to a friend? What would you do in this sticky situation? Share your thoughts below!

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