AITA for making a “thing” about my roommates BF hogging the TV?

In a cozy apartment shared by two friends, the flicker of a TV screen set the stage for lazy evenings filled with laughter from sitcom reruns. But the arrival of Abby’s boyfriend, Mark, disrupted the harmony, his bold moves to change channels and raid the fridge turning their shared space into a subtle battlefield. The poster’s growing irritation bubbled over as Mark acted like the apartment was his own, testing her patience.

This Reddit post captures the sting of those small but maddening oversteps, laying bare the tension of navigating a roommate’s guest who doesn’t know their place. With Abby caught between her friend and her boyfriend, the clash over TV control becomes a relatable saga of boundaries, respect, and the delicate dance of shared living that many know all too well.

‘AITA for making a “thing” about my roommates bF hogging the tV?’

I've lived with my roommate 'Abby' for almost 2 years without problems. We were friends before we moved in together and still are. Well about 3-4 months ago Abby started dating 'Mark', I don't really care for him much just because he seems slightly sexist. It's her life so whatever.

Thing is when he comes over and she's busy with something else, he just helps himself to food and stuff. He's eaten my leftovers in the fridge, but said he didn't know and 'thought it was for anyone ' whatever I let that go. When he comes over and I'm watching TV and Abby is busy he'll just take the remote and change the channel.

The first time he did it I said 'hey what are you doing I'm watching that' he was like 'I just want to check the score' he tried keeping football on but I said 'okay you seen the score now put my show back on' he sighed and turned it back. He's done it other times too.

Then yesterday he came over after work and I was watching Friends, he grabs the remote and starts 'channel surfing '. I said 'dude what are you doing? I'm watching that' he said 'that show's all reruns and it's a chick show let's watch something else'

I said 'if you want to watch something else go in Abby's room she has a TV in there too' 'she's still working(she wfh), I'm a guest so I should get to choose' 'you're not MY guest'. I turned Friends back on and he just sat there.

Well they left and did whatever, when Abby came back she yelled at me said that 'she know's I don't like Mark but I was being a petty ahole and made him feel unwelcome '. I mean granted it's just TV and I don't care that much, but I'm sick of him acting like he owns the place.. AITA should I have just let it go

Mark’s habit of grabbing the TV remote and helping himself to leftovers turned a friendly apartment into a stage for conflict, leaving the poster feeling sidelined in her own home. His casual entitlement—dismissing her show as a “chick show” and claiming guest privileges—crossed clear boundaries, sparking a standoff that’s all too common in shared living spaces.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes, “Respecting boundaries in shared spaces is essential for maintaining harmony, particularly with guests” . His behavior reflects a lack of consideration, straining the poster’s goodwill.

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This situation highlights a broader issue: managing external relationships in cohabitation. When a roommate’s guest oversteps, it can erode trust, especially if the roommate defends the offender. The poster’s decision to push back was a valid defense of her space, but Abby’s reaction suggests a need for clearer communication about house rules.

A solution lies in a frank discussion between the roommates, as Heitler suggests, to establish guest guidelines—like asking permission before using shared items or changing the TV. Abby could enforce these with Mark, ensuring he respects the space or stays in her room. Regular check-ins could prevent future friction, fostering a respectful environment for all.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users strongly supported the poster, condemning Mark’s rude and entitled behavior. They viewed his channel-switching and fridge raids as disrespectful, emphasizing that he has no right to control shared spaces as a guest.

The community praised the poster’s stand, urging Abby to address her boyfriend’s actions or face tougher measures, like reevaluating the living arrangement. Their unified stance reflects widespread frustration with guests who overstep boundaries in shared homes.

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No-Jellyfish-1208 − NTA Not only is he rude in general - I mean, who just interrupts someone else's show like that?! - but also incredibly entitled. As for what Abby had said: sorry for her, but if anyone is an A H there, it's her boyfriend.

[Reddit User] − You are NTA. Time for a “Come to your higher power of choice” meeting. Mark doesn’t change the TV while you’re watching, eat anything from the fridge without asking, or look at you crossways or he’s no longer welcome.

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If your roommate wants to push the issue, tell her that he can stay in her room for the entirety of his visits, or she can go to his place.. I’d plan on getting your own apartment or a new roommate ASAP.

GloryIV − Sounds like you need to revoke Mark's TV privileges and his fridge privileges. NTA. It's an astonishing level of entitlement for him to actually take the remote from you and change the channel on something you were sitting there watching.

This would not be a big deal if you weren't watching anything or if he asked you if you minded changing the channels - but to take the remote? Nah, boundaries have been crossed. Time to lay them down more firmly.

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Knitsanity − NTA If your roommate seriously thinks ur the AH she has a whole bunch of problems that will be coming at her in the near future. He sounds like a total tool...and that is me being kind.

NovaJ333 − NTA. You set a boundary and it made him mad but that’s too bad. It’s your house, you pay rent and if you are actively watching TV, it’s extremely rude to just change the channel. Also, why would food in the fridge at your home be for “anyone” it’s not rec center with free snacks laid out.

He’s extremely entitled to just go in your refrigerator without permission. You and your roommate need to discuss what you are comfortable with and she needs to set those expectations with her boyfriend.

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delete_the_feet − NTA- if he doesn’t pay rent he shouldn’t try to kick you out of your own living room

foofanu − NTA. If 'feeling welcome' means he gets to overrule the wants and feelings of the people who actually live there and pay rent, then he SHOULD feel unwelcome.. Next time he's over and you're watching TV, keep the remote in your pocket.

MsSpicyO − If your roommate is not available to entertain her bf then he needs to wait to come over. NTA. Definitely put your foot down now on his behavior.

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foozballisdevil − NTA tell her that Mark doesn't live there and he has no right to snatch the remote from you and change the station. If he's bored he is more than welcome to rub on his phone to his heart's content.

RubY-F0x − NTA You're the one that lives there, not him. If he wants control of a tv then he can go home and watch his own and meet up with Abby whenever she finishes working. The fact that he also felt it necessary to go whining about this to Abby makes him sound like an immature child. Don't give in to this entitled ah.

This tale of TV battles and fridge raids captures the irritation of defending your space against an overreaching guest. The poster’s resolve shines, but Abby’s defense of Mark raises questions about loyalty and respect. A clear set of house rules could restore peace or signal time for change. Share your stories of handling intrusive guests and keeping harmony at home.

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