AITA Announced My Pregnancy To My Sister Who Was Trying To Get Pregnant For 5 Years?

A family dinner turned into an emotional minefield when a woman’s pregnancy reveal stunned her sister. Pregnant at 34 weeks, the woman had kept her news quiet to shield her sister, who’d endured years of fertility struggles and loss. But when the truth came out, tears and accusations flew, unraveling a web of grief and unspoken expectations.

This isn’t just about a baby bump—it’s about navigating love and pain in a family scarred by loss. The woman’s careful silence, meant to protect, collided with her sister’s raw emotions, sparking a heated debate. As Reddit weighs in, the story reveals the delicate dance of joy and sorrow in close-knit families.

‘AITA Announced My Pregnancy To My Sister Who Was Trying To Get Pregnant For 5 Years?’

(28f) am pregnant with my husband (30m) baby. I have a sister (30f) who has been trying to get pregnant for the past 5 years. This has resulted in 3 miscarriages and a stillbirth. When I found out I was pregnant I made sure not to tell my sister, since she was grieving her stillborn, who has passed around a year ago.

I told my parents and husband's parents and they were overjoyed. Out of respect for my sister I didn't have a babyshower or gender reveal or any big ceremony. Just a lunch where I announced the pregnancy to close friends and family and we all agreed to not tell my sister until we felt like she was ready to know.

Anyways, I am now 34 weeks pregnant and I haven't seen my sister in over 6 months. She called me the other day, to tell me she was 3 months pregnant and things had been going well so far. I congratulated her and she invited me to her house for dinner. I discussed this with my parents and husband, and we decided it was time to tell her.

I went to her house for dinner this weekend, and when she let me in she freaked out. She asked me if I was pregnant and I said i was. She started sobbing. She was absolutely hysterical. Her husband took her in to calm her down and we decided to leave.

She texted me on Monday saying that it was selfish that I was going to have my baby first and my parents would be more focused on me than her. She accused me of being cruel, and getting pregnant just to upset her. She said she would ask our parents to choose between us. This was the last straw for me.

This was my first pregnancy and I wanted to do things like a baby shower and all, but I didn't because I knew it would hurt my sister. I called her a selfish, mean b**ch and blocked her. Her husband called me to tell me she was inconsolable because her own sister was trying to upstage her and her baby.

Our mom isn't taking sides, but my dad and husband are on my side. A few of my cousins reached out to me, calling me names, and it made me wonder if I'm in the wrong.. So AITA for announcing my pregnancy?. EDIT: My sister has been in therapy for the past couple of years.

Pregnancy announcements can be a tightrope walk in families touched by loss. The OP’s choice to hide her pregnancy for 34 weeks was a compassionate attempt to spare her sister, who’s suffered multiple miscarriages and a stillbirth. But showing up visibly pregnant at a dinner was a misstep, catching her sister off guard during her own fragile pregnancy. The sister’s accusation—that the OP was stealing her moment—reflects grief-fueled sensitivity, while the OP’s harsh retort escalated the rift.

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Fertility struggles amplify emotional stakes. A 2022 study in Human Reproduction found 60% of women with pregnancy loss experience heightened anxiety around others’ pregnancies. The sister’s reaction, though extreme, stems from this pain, while the OP’s secrecy aimed to protect but lacked clear communication. Both sides misjudged the timing and delivery of tough truths.

Dr. Jessica Zucker, a psychologist specializing in reproductive loss, says, “Grief can make joy feel like a betrayal, but open dialogue fosters healing” (Psychology Today). The OP could have shared her news earlier via a private, gentle conversation, perhaps with their mother mediating. For readers, discussing sensitive milestones with empathy and clarity can prevent such blowups. The sisters need space and therapy to rebuild trust, showing that love can mend even the deepest wounds.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew rolled in with fiery takes, blending empathy with sharp critique. From calling out the OP’s timing to slamming the sister’s overreaction, the comments are a whirlwind of support and shade. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

Anonymians − ESH, her way more then you. Her reaction is, maybe somewhat understandable, very harsh and selfish. But how in the world did you think just showing up 8 months pregnant is the best way to leuk her know. You did several things to be respectful to her, but in my opinion make a bad decision in the way you told her

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little_runner_boy − ESH. In my opinion you waited too long to tell her. Showing up 34 weeks pregnant? You may as well have just shown up with the kid. Your sister overreacted to you being pregnant. There's nothing wrong with wanting to start your own family.

It would be similar to if you were getting married before her. You overreacted as well. Instead of rationally talking to her like a mature adult, you just went and did the exact same thing she did by insulting her and calling her names

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Shot_Western_2755 − Info- how did you really think showing up damn near about to pop was gonna go??

AllandarosSunsong − ESH. Nobody is really a complete a**hole here, but everyone did kind of suck. You went above and beyond trying to spare your sister any pain or anguish. You denied yourself all the things women do to normally celebrate their pregnancies, and that's laudable.

However if you hadn't gone to dinner when exactly were you planning to tell her, after the baby was born? As for your sister, while the initial shock and reaction of seeing you was justified, her follow up conversation was just ridiculous. Did she expect the world to stop turning until she finally brought a child to term?

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That you and your husband couldn't proceed with your own lives just to placate her? That's a completely bull crap expectation. At this point I just hope you both have healthy, happy children. Maybe once that's happened you two can start working on healing this rift in your relationship.

TopAd7154 − NTA. Your sister needs some help. I cant even begin to dissect this one.

CasualCrisis83 − NTA - your mother should have been the person to sit down with your sister early on and help her with this. She, as her mother, is the one who should have taken on the emotional labour, and protected you. You deserve to be happy.. Happiness isn't pie.

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You didn't take it all and leave her with none. You aren't doing anything to her. And , I'm happy to be the A.H and say, after 5 years, nobody can be expected to put their life on hold so she can hope to be first.

I've dealt with infertility and loss, it's the worst thing I've had to endure, but it's not the rest of the world's job to stop revolving because I'm suffering. That's not how life works.. Congratulations. This is a joyous thing and I hope you allow yourself all of it.

Ok_Job_9417 − YTA - not telling your sister right away or not in group settings is normal. 34 weeks is damn near the whole pregnancy. This just feels fake.

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backyardchick − ESH, leaning towards YTA. You were definitely in the wrong keeping your pregnancy from your sister for 34 weeks! How did you expect her to react, showing up basically ready to give birth? I'd have shouted at you, too, and that's without the added trauma. Your sister, of course, is also in the wrong for thinking and saying what she did and does.

It's obvious that you aren't trying to upstage her, not least of all because you got pregnant way before her. But, once again, what did you expect to happen? There were certainly ten different ways you could have handled this situation, and all of them would have been better than what you actually did.

AcornPoesy − ESH but this cannot be real, surely. Obviously, obviously your sister is the AH for her reaction following the day she found out. For demanding parents pick, for accusing you of doing it on purpose, etc etc. Her husband too, for allowing the behaviour and phoning you to berate you for the same thing.

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But how on earth could you think that was an appropriate way for her to find out? Going on past record, she could lose this baby too - she’s only 3 months and she’s had a still birth before. This is an incredibly delicate moment and she was ready to celebrate with you all.

Then the attention would automatically shift to you, the imminent arrival, etc. She didn’t get a chance to react well. (Though as mentioned she was appalling after). I’ve seen you parents said it was fine which is was makes me think this is ridiculous.

You couldn’t ALL be that naive, to have hidden an entire pregnancy, avoided doing pregnancy activities, and then gone ‘let’s just turn up to her celebration at basically full term.’ Can’t be real.

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JBB2002902 − NTA, you were never going to win here. Have a baby first? Did it to upset her. Have a baby after her? Trying to steal her thunder. Please just enjoy your life with your baby, and see if you can arrange a late baby shower/welcome party once baby is here and you’re comfortable!

Redditors largely saw both sisters stumbling— the OP for her late reveal, the sister for her dramatic accusations. Some cheered the OP’s sensitivity, others questioned her delivery. But do these hot opinions capture the full complexity, or just stir the pot? One thing’s certain: this family drama has sparked a lively debate about grief and celebration.

This pregnancy saga shows how joy and grief can clash in families, where good intentions don’t always land softly. The OP’s silence was meant to protect, but her sister’s pain turned it into a wound. Both deserve grace as they navigate this delicate moment. How would you balance celebrating your milestone with a loved one’s loss? Share your thoughts below—let’s dive into this heartfelt debate!

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