AITA for not wanting to send our daughter to therapy for shoplifting?

In a tense family living room, a 14-year-old girl hangs her head as a local cop recounts her shoplifting of fancy chocolates, a habit spanning two years. Her mother, quick to ground her, sees it as a teenage rite of passage, but her father’s push for therapy ignites a parental standoff, threatening to fracture their united front.

This Reddit tale crackles with the clash of parenting philosophies, as a mother’s dismissal of therapy collides with her husband’s concern for deeper issues. With a mix of defiance and doubt, it captures the struggle to define normal teen behavior, resonating with anyone navigating family disagreements over discipline.

‘AITA for not wanting to send our daughter to therapy for shoplifting?’

This shoplifting dispute reveals the complexities of addressing adolescent behavior. A mother views her 14-year-old daughter’s two-year shoplifting habit as typical teen rebellion, warranting only grounding, while her husband pushes for therapy to probe underlying issues.

The disagreement highlights differing views on discipline and mental health. Child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham notes, “Persistent risky behavior in teens often signals unmet emotional needs” . Shoplifting, while not uncommon 30% of teens admit to it at least once .

The mother’s normalization, drawn from her own uncaught teenage thefts, dismisses the husband’s valid concern, potentially minimizing the daughter’s need for guidance. Dr. Markham’s work on co-parenting stresses aligning on discipline her “putting her foot down” undermines this, fostering resentment. The husband’s sheltered background may amplify his worry, but his therapy suggestion aligns with proactive parenting, especially given the store ban’s social consequences.

For resolution, a compromise could involve a few therapy sessions to assess the daughter’s motivations, with the option to stop if no deeper issues emerge. A family discussion, validating both parents’ views, could unify their approach. This story prompts reflection on balancing discipline with curiosity about a teen’s inner world, crucial for guiding them through turbulent years.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit users largely labeled the mother the asshole (YTA), criticizing her for normalizing shoplifting and dismissing therapy. They argued that two years of theft, starting at age 12, suggests more than typical teen antics, and therapy could prevent worse outcomes like legal trouble. Many faulted her for invalidating her husband’s perspective, noting that grounding alone may not address underlying issues.

Some saw her intent as protective but misguided, urging her to reconsider therapy as a low-risk tool to support her daughter. Commenters emphasized that not all teens steal, challenging her “normal” narrative, and stressed the value of professional insight during adolescence. The community’s consensus pushed for proactive parenting over minimization.

This shoplifting saga glows with a lesson in parenting a mother’s bid to brush off her teen’s theft as normal sparked a rift, but opens a door to deeper understanding. It’s a reminder that teen missteps deserve curiosity, not just consequences. Share your thoughts below how do you handle teen rebellion in your family?