AITA for Refusing to Hand Over the Laptop I Saved Up For to My Sister?

Family scars can fester, and for a 16-year-old boy, years of neglect boiled over in a fiery outburst. His sister, once gravely ill with leukemia, got the lion’s share of their parents’ attention, leaving him shuffled to relatives or alone, his birthdays forgotten. Now healthy, she eyed his hard-earned gaming laptop, prompting his parents to suggest he give or share it. Furious, he unleashed a tirade, sarcastically offering his clothes and bed, too, shouting that she deserves everything since he “never got sick.”

His family’s stunned, calling him ungrateful, but the laptop’s still his—for now. Was his rage justified, or did he cross a line? This Reddit saga dives into the raw pain of a “glass child,” where love feels rationed, and a teen’s stand sparks tension. Can this family mend the cracks of past neglect?

‘AITA for Refusing to Hand Over the Laptop I Saved Up For to My Sister?’

I'm 16m and I have a sister who is 14f. My sister was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia when she was 6 and she had ongoing medical needs for 5 years. She's been healthy for the last 3 years and returned to 'normal'. My parents put me on the backburner in a major way and they were not there for me.

I was either bounced around to different family members or I was left alone. My birthday was forgotten a few years and Christmas was about her and I was asked to put the effort into making sure she had all the gifts and joy she could get because it could be her last.

I was miserable and I know none of us were happy but I really felt like I was basically there as a prop to try and cheer her up sometimes. She would ask for stuff and they would move heaven and earth to get it and sometimes it was stuff I had.

Before she got sick my parents had bought me this bean bag chair for my room that was probably more expensive now that I think about it and they gave it to her. When I brought home a treat from school they would ask/tell me to give it to my sister to cheer her up, and sometimes she would ask for it.

When I didn't bring something home for a while they would ask me if I ate it like it was some crime I committed. We went to see Santa for a few years after she was sick and I got a better cheap toy that we swapped because I couldn't have something a little nicer than her.

Which meant I got stuck with a lot of jewelry making kids or sparkly pink stationary kits.. Last Christmas I got clothes while she got a new phone and switch skin. I turned 16 in June and I had saved to buy a gaming laptop. It was a lot of saving my wages and buying nothing but I really wanted it.

My two best friends decided to forgo buying me something and gave me money to get it and they came with me to pick it up. Last week my parents and sister were in the living room when I got home from school and my parents told me my sister wanted to play games with her friends,

computer games, and that they thought since I had a gaming laptop I could just give it to her since it would make more sense than going out and buying a new one. When I didn't answer right away they were like 'oh well, of course you could always share it between you'. And I lost it.

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I started yelling and cursing. I told them of course she should f**king have it and why the f**k not. I went into my room and took my clothes and said she should have all that too. I said why not take my bed and give it to he as well. Then pointed out she had a new bed and my bed was 12 years old.

I told them to take everything I own since she deserves it all and I don't deserve s**t because I never got sick as a kid. My sister didn't say a word and my parents were shocked but then they were pretty pissed with me and asked me what the hell I was behaving like that for. Things have been... tense since. Though I still have my laptop.... AITA?

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This 16-year-old’s outburst was a cry from a heart long ignored. Years of being a “glass child”—overlooked while his sister battled leukemia—built resentment that erupted when his parents suggested he give her his hard-earned gaming laptop. His pain is real: forgotten birthdays, swapped gifts, and a bean bag chair taken show a pattern of neglect. His sarcasm—offering his clothes and bed—voiced a truth: he feels less valued.

Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a child resilience expert, says, “Siblings of chronically ill children often feel invisible, needing equal parental attention.” The parents’ focus on their daughter’s survival was understandable, but sidelining their son for years, even after her recovery, bred hurt. About 20% of “glass children” report lasting emotional impacts from such dynamics. His laptop, bought with saved wages and friends’ gifts, symbolizes his independence—demanding it for his sister was a breaking point.

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His yelling and cursing weren’t ideal, but they reflect pent-up grief. The parents’ shock and anger miss the root: their failure to balance care. Dr. Ginsburg suggests a family meeting to air feelings, with a therapist if possible. The boy could write a letter, calmly listing moments he felt unseen, like forgotten birthdays or swapped toys.

Parents should acknowledge his pain, not just defend their choices. The sister, likely unaware of her role, isn’t to blame, but open dialogue could foster empathy. He might safeguard his laptop at a friend’s to avoid pressure. Reddit’s call to plan independence is wise—scholarships or jobs can secure his future.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users backed this teen’s stand, feeling his pain and calling out his parents’ neglect. Here’s what they said:

Dobbywantssocks12 - NTA. Your parents should have a done a better job making sure your needs weren’t completely on the back burner. I understand it couldn’t have been easy with your sister being so sick but meeting your needs was and is also important. I am sorry it went down the way it did. But you are absolutely in the right standing your ground.

NeighborhoodNo1583 - NTA. Look up “glass children,” this is unfortunately a pretty common family dynamic, where the healthy sibling‘s needs are completely ignored or disregarded. I’m so sorry your parents are treating you like this.

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I would suggest sitting down with your parents or writing them a letter telling them exactly how their behavior has affected you, and permanently altered your relationship with both them and your sister. I don’t know that they will change, but you’ll probably feel better getting it off your chest.

Iif you plan to leave for college or trade school, I would start talking to other trusted family members or adults about your plans. Start looking into scholarships or apprenticeships or whatever you need to do to become independent, bc you deserve to find happiness

Remember1959 - NTA, and I hope your parents come to their senses.

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Capable_Ad_976 - NTA, as a shadow sibling of a miracle sibling I understand this experience. You built up key skills like resilience and independence as a result of their n**lect.. your sister has learned to take advantage of you based on the behaviour modeled after your parents.

it gets better, as soon as you move out it gets better. As soon as they realize you never call, it gets better. As soon as you create your own family, it gets better. You have learned to expect nothing. Create some physical and enotional distance for self preservation and keep moving forward.

FinnFinnFinnegan - NTA they forgot they had 2 children, and are embarrassed you called them out on their n**lect

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Missicat - NTA. Sounds like that outburst was long overdue. Hope your parents think about what you said after they are done being pissed.. Hide the laptop NOW.

[Reddit User] - NTA honestly If I were you I would start planning a way to get out. If there already doing this at 16 I’m pretty sure your going to get cutoff completely at 18

Grand-Jump-3216 - If they still don't get why you are so pissed, tell them to pull out the receipts of all the things they have bought for you and your sister and compare them, and if they can't figure out what the hell is the problem after doing the math then there's little to talk about. Oh, and it's a laptop you bought with your money, so giving away is out of question.. NTA

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Big__Bang - DO not give them your laptop. YOU PAID FOR IT. Its your property. If need be take it over to a friends house and use it there, or a family member.. Fight for it.. NTA

Moist_Fail_9269 - NTA. This was basically my childhood. My brother had kidney disease which required multiple bone surgeries, dialysis, and a failed kidney transplant before he died at age 26. Despite being diagnosed with a significant autoimmune disease at age 11, my parents never gave a damn about me and always put me on the backburner, even my medical care.

My extended family accused me of faking it for attention despite the bleeding lesions on my skin and arthritis that was diagnosed by surgery. I went completely NC with both of my parents for several reasons, but this was a big one.

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There might have been a better way to express it, but you are absolutely not wrong for feeling this way. Although i would be careful not to direct the majority of your anger at your sister. The responsibility and failures lie on your parents.

These Redditors are fierce, but do they overlook the sister’s perspective?

This teen’s laptop isn’t just a device—it’s a symbol of his worth, hard-won after years of neglect. His outburst, raw and raging, laid bare the pain of being a “glass child” while his sister was prioritized. His parents’ shock misses the mark; healing needs listening, not anger. A family talk, maybe with a therapist, could mend the rift, but he’s right to guard his laptop and his heart. What would you do when family overlooks you? Share your thoughts below—how do you reclaim your place in a lopsided family?

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