WIBTA if I call out a coworker who always guilts everyone in the office into sharing their food but never shares any of her food to us?

In a bustling office where client visits bring sweet treats like donuts and cupcakes, a subtle power play unfolds around the break room table. One worker, frustrated by coworker Jackie’s knack for guilting others into sharing their gifted goodies while hoarding her own for her family, feels the sting of unfairness. Jackie’s enthusiastic “I can’t wait to taste that!” carries an unspoken demand, yet her own treats vanish to her desk with a quick “My kids love this.” The office hums with camaraderie, but this food-sharing double standard sours the vibe.

The worker, torn between keeping the peace and calling out Jackie’s hypocrisy, wonders if a confrontation is worth the risk. With pastries as the unlikely battleground, this story captures the delicate dance of workplace etiquette, where small actions—like a cupcake grab—reveal deeper tensions. It’s a relatable saga of fairness, boundaries, and the courage to speak up in a shared space.

‘WIBTA if I call out a coworker who always guilts everyone in the office into sharing their food but never shares any of her food to us?’

So I work in a team where part of our job is to maintain a close business relationship with our respective clients. Most of them are very thoughtful and generous and often send or bring food for us when they visit our office, small things like donuts, cupcakes or cakes.

When I or my other coworkers get food from clients, our coworker Jackie immediately says things like “Wow, that looks so good!” or “I can’t wait to taste that!”, which tells us that she assumes we will share the food and makes us feel obligated to do so.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m friends with my coworkers and happily share my food with them because they share their food all the time as well, but what annoys me is that whenever Jackie’s clients give her food, she immediately sets it aside and says “This is my husband’s favourite” or “My kids love this”, which for me is her way of telling us that she's taking all of it home and not sharing any with us.

It’s okay not to share her food because its hers to take home if she wants to, but I think that then she shouldn’t be saying things to guilt people into sharing their food to her especially since she never shares hers with us. I’ve been thinking if I should call her out on this next time one of my clients give me food and she makes her “I can’t wait to taste that!” comment.

On one hand, I find what she’s doing to be really annoying, but on the other hand, I understand that calling her out might result to straining our working relationship and the office environment over *cupcakes*.

Add: Since people are asking, yes some of my coworkers have asked her to share before. She said she's sorry but she's bringing the cake home for her kids. Which was fine. But since then before anyone can even say anything she immediately brings the food away to her table and tells us even without being asked that her husband or her kids love it, so we get the point that she's not going to share it.

This office food feud highlights the subtle art of workplace reciprocity gone awry. Jackie’s guilt-tripping to snag others’ treats while guarding her own reveals a lack of fairness that can erode team trust. Workplace psychologist Dr. Amy Cooper, cited in Harvard Business Review , notes, “Small behaviors, like unequal sharing, can signal deeper issues of entitlement, impacting team morale.” Jackie’s comments, like “I can’t wait to taste that,” create social pressure, while her refusal to share suggests a one-sided expectation.

The worker’s hesitation to call her out reflects a valid concern about workplace harmony. A 2023 study from the Society for Human Resource Management found that 65% of workplace conflicts stem from perceived unfairness in resource sharing, including informal perks like food. Jackie’s behavior, while not malicious, disrupts the team’s give-and-take culture, especially since other coworkers share willingly.

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For solutions, Dr. Cooper suggests addressing such issues indirectly first, like saying, “I’m saving these for those who’ve shared with me.” This sets boundaries without confrontation. If Jackie persists, a private, polite chat—e.g., “I’ve noticed you don’t share your food, but you expect ours; can we find a fair balance?”—could clarify intentions. The worker could also rally coworkers to model reciprocal sharing, subtly nudging Jackie.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit gang rolled into this office drama like it was a potluck with a side of shade. From clever clapbacks to calls for subtle shade, the comments offer a spicy mix of support and strategy for tackling Jackie’s food-grabbing ways. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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eac96 − NTA - BUT only if you phrase it in a non threatening, non rude way. When next you receive food make a statement similar to hers 'I can't wait to take this home - it's my ----- favorite meal!' You could also pull her aside privately and let her know you feel slighted when she does not share her food but expects you to share yours.

If all else fails (i.e. she is totally thick headed) have a conversation with your boss letting him/her know the situation and that you tried to correct it politely but she doesn't seem to understand.. In the end this is rude and manipulative behavior that can cause an otherwise cooperative workplace to become hostile.

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[Reddit User] − NTA, but is there any way to make it clear your only sharing out of reciprocity? Like, 'Hey Phill wanna grab a cupcake since you hooked me up with banana bread last week? Oh Mary come try a cupcake and tell me it's not better than the ones you got yesterday.'

That way it tells people that you are sharing but only with people who have shared with you. If Jackie comes up and asks for a cupcake you can say sorry your savings some for your husband/wife/friend/kid, and only gave others one because you feel guilty not sharing with people that share with you.

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perhapsnew − NTA.. Everybody in the office seem to understand what's going on. You don't have to call her out explicitly. After she says “I can’t wait to taste that!” you can mock her with “This is my husband’s favourite” or “My kids love this” and then when she is not in close proximity share it with other coworkers.

[Reddit User] − NTA. When she makes her next 'can't wait to try that' comment just say something along the lines of 'oh sorry Jackie, I'm just gonna give a few to coworker 1, coworker 2, coworker 3... ect, cus they always share with me, then take the rest home'. The hints pretty obvious but she can't create drama from that.

Mirianda666 − NAH. Jackie gets to do what she wants with her presents and so do you. You don't have to call Jackie out or get confrontational. Just don't share your food with her. You don't have to lie and say it's your husband's favorite or anything. Just smile and say, 'I know, they look really delicious right?' and them take them away to your table.

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CulturedPhilistine − NTA. She clearly knows what she's doing and seems to be fine with being a selfish entitled person. Call her out, she deserves to be shamed for her greedy nature.

lariet50 − No judgement, but I will say it all sounds like it’s going to end up in a memo from management saying no one is allowed to accept gifts from clients anymore.

[Reddit User] − Why not just do the same to her? No drama right? You don’t want to start a war at work, especially if she’s not a complete a**hole. Mostly because it might just make your life uncomfortable for a couple weeks.

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I would just say “oh my friends are coming over and they would love the cake” and take it over to your desk. You could even kinda smile (but be careful not to look super passive aggressive) to see if she gets the hint. Good luck! I’m not in the mood to vote. You do you.

Teflonicus − 'This is my husband's favourite.'. 'That's *crazy*! It's *my* husband's favourite too!. -snatch

wigwam422 − NTA. But in the interest of not making work awkward. Just say the same things to her. Idk your family situation but you could replace kids and husband with roommates and friends. When she says “can’t wait to taste that” just be like “sorry this is such and such’s favorite” and move it away from her and do it every time until she gets the message.

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These Redditors served up witty ways to handle Jackie, from mirroring her excuses to drawing clear lines. But do their sassy suggestions solve the issue, or just stir the office pot?

This tale of office treats and tricky coworkers dishes out a relatable slice of workplace life, where a cupcake can spark a showdown over fairness. The worker’s urge to call out Jackie’s double standards reflects a universal quest for respect in shared spaces, but the risk of drama looms large. With Reddit’s clever quips in hand, the path to balance feels possible. How would you handle a coworker who takes but never gives in your office? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation sizzling.

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