AITA for taking my ex-fiances parents “bribe” to break up with him?

Picture a young woman, heart pounding, staring at a packed suitcase in a dimly lit apartment, the weight of a five-year love story crumbling under the sting of betrayal and control. She’s a vibrant Cuban soul, caught in a whirlwind of devotion and doubt, facing a fiancé whose charm has faded into something darker. For years, she endured his wealthy, traditional parents’ cold glares and cutting words, hoping love would conquer all. But when red flags—control, cruel words, and drunken outbursts—piled up, the dream began to crack.

Then, out of the blue, a secret lunch with his mother brought a jaw-dropping twist: a $10,000 offer to walk away. Already teetering on the edge, she took the cash, packed her bags, and left. Was this a clever escape or a moral misstep? Readers, you’ll feel her turmoil—torn between love, self-worth, and a tempting payout—as this tale unfolds, sparking questions about loyalty, family, and the price of freedom.

‘AITA for taking my ex-fiances parents “bribe” to break up with him?’

One month ago I broke up with my fiance. It's been emotional, stressful, and downright awful. I've had almost no contact with him since that night but from what I hear he's a wreck. I didn't hold back and told him the truth, except for one thing. Me and my ex met in college and hit it off really quick.

We dated for 5 years before he proposed. My ex comes from a very traditional Asian family who immigrated here right after his birth. Both of his parents are extremely successful in their careers and make a ton of money. So when he brought me, a Cuban girl, home to his parents they did not accept me.

They made it very clear that they thought I was not worthy of him and for the years I dated him they treated me like a sub-human. This never bothered me. I loved him and thought we could get through this. He never seemed to really care what they said about me either.

After we got engaged I began to realize that he's not too different from his parents. In the year that we were engaged he became extremely controlling. He wanted to know where I was almost every moment of the day, at one point he even said after we are married he wants to schedule out my day so he knows where I am at all times.

Along with this I found out he is an a**oholic who can become very belligerent when drunk. These red flags were enough for me and i've been thinking of stepping back for a while now. The real tipping point was when he told me that he feels like he has to 'settle' for me and that he can do better.

I distanced myself from him emotionally for some time now and have been holding off till I felt ready. That was until last week when his mom called me out of nowhere and wanted to meet up behind my ex's back to 'talk'. We met and had lunch. During this time they made it clear they knew me and my ex were having trouble.

They told me they didn't like me, they knew I hated them, and that we would probably never be amicable. They 'saw how unhappy both of us were and that it would probably be best if we broke up'. They then offered me 10 thousand dollars to break up with my ex.

To help me 'get over him'.. I took the money. We made an agreement to never tell my ex or anyone else about or 'exchange'. And so that night I went home, packed my bag and broke up with him. I moved out that next week and haven't seen him since. He's called me multiple times but i've ignore him. Mutual friends say he's a wreck and that he still 'loves me'.

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His parents contacted me once since then thanking me and wishing me luck in life. I was planning on breaking up with him anyway, that was never going to change. The money though, did help. Was I wrong to take it? His family mistreated me so at the time I just saw it as way of them repaying me for that.I feel like an a**hole for taking the money. Am i?

Navigating a breakup is tough, but a cash offer from disapproving in-laws? That’s a plot twist worthy of a soap opera! This woman faced a fiancé turning controlling—demanding her schedule, belittling her worth—while his parents’ hostility added salt to the wound. Her choice to take the $10,000 and run raises eyebrows, but let’s unpack it. The fiancé’s behavior, from tracking her moves to claiming he’d “settle,” screams red flags, while his parents’ bribe shows a manipulative streak, likely rooted in cultural expectations clashing with her identity.

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This taps into a broader issue: family interference in relationships. Studies, like one from the Journal of Marriage and Family (onlinelibrary.wiley.com), show parental disapproval can strain couples, with 20% of surveyed partners citing in-law conflict as a breakup factor. Cultural differences often amplify this, as traditional values clash with modern love.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes in a Psychology Today article (psychologytoday.com), “When families overstep boundaries with money or ultimatums, it undermines autonomy, often signaling deeper control issues.” Here, the parents’ cash offer likely aimed to “save” their son, but it cheapened her dignity, even if she was already done. Her acceptance? A pragmatic grab at freedom, though it risks fueling their narrative of her as “unworthy.”

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Advice? If you’re in this spot, pause and reflect. Prioritize self-respect—money can ease a move, but don’t let it define your worth. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist to weigh your exit plan. Set boundaries with meddling families; communication, not cash, resolves conflict. She made her choice, and while messy, it freed her from a toxic trap.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back—here’s a batch of hot takes, served with a side of humor and heart! Buckle up for candid, cheeky wisdom from the crowd:

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avocado__dip − NTA. You didn't lose out on the love of your life, you were going to break up with him anyway. Might as well profit a bit.

Cryberry_Banana − I'm going to go with ESH. It was entirely out of line and unacceptable for the mother to offer the money since they were actively undermining their son. That said, you're also an a**hole for accepting the money. You just cemented the idea in his parents head that they can control his future with money.

sh4dfox − NTA, why not take their money after putting up with years of their hostility.

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tipsytops2 − ESH, though you do the least. He treated you horribly and so did they so good riddance, but taking the money was definitely not the high road. I can understand how tempting that would be though.

muddledandbefuddled − NTA- they offered it- and they offered it knowing you're relationship was in a s**tty state, trying to push you over the edge. Sounds like you were probably going to break up with him eventually (certainly was the right course- he sounds awful, with the kicker of awful in-laws). Since you were probably going to break up with him anyways, and the parents knew this, I don't see anything wrong with taking the money.

AllenBelfore − NTA. You should have asked for more. You say it did not influence your decision, and that you would have broken up with him anyway. If that's true then the money wad equivelant to a gift, unrelated to the break-up, at least from your perspective.. They're complete a-holes.

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waterbuffalo750 − NTA Back in 2008, during the recession, I was planning to quit my job to move. Also, my employer was buying out employees to leave to reduce payroll, $10k to quit. Would I be the a**hole to take that $10k? This story seems almost identical, to me.

[Reddit User] − ESH I understand why you took the money and on some level I can appreciate the shameless opportunism, but it's an extremely poor reflection of your personal convictions and self-respect. You can tell yourself that you were going to 'eventually' break up with your fiance anyways,

but it honestly just sounds like a way to justify your actions and assuage your guilt about the fact that you were essentially bought by people who have acted with nothing but contempt and racism towards you. They don't respect you, they never did,

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and you taking that money only cements the idea that you're not worthy of their respect. If you really were going to break up with him, you should have refused the money, told the parents you were already planning on ending the relationship and broken up with him anyway on your own terms.

rosepetalmemories − NTA You think he was bad during the engagement, just think how bad it would have been once you two were married and you were pregnant with his kid. Don't feel guilty for taking the money. To quote the great Marla Singer 'I consider this an ass hole tax'.

Damascus879 − ESH Granted I would find it hard to give up $10K, I think refusing the money would've taught them more. Plus they may have been trying to frame you.

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These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality? Did she cash in on a golden exit, or trip on the moral high ground?

So, a woman walks away from a controlling fiancé, pockets $10,000 from his disapproving parents, and starts fresh—heroine or opportunist? This saga blends love, family drama, and a cash-fueled escape, leaving us chuckling at the audacity and pondering the ethics. She broke free from a toxic trap, but was the money a justified bonus or a shady deal? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Drop your thoughts, feelings, or wild stories below—let’s chat and unravel this messy, human tale together!

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