AITA for making my MIL buy a different dress for my wedding?

Imagine a wedding buzzing with excitement: navy blue bridesmaids gliding by, grey-suited groomsmen flashing smiles, and the bride’s ivory gown ready to steal the show. Then, out of nowhere, a text pings—a mother-in-law (MIL) proudly shows off her “cream champagne” dress, complete with beading and a train! What should be a day of love turns into a fashion face-off. Our redditor’s tale of clashing dresses and family drama has us hooked—did she overreact, or was MIL out of line? Grab a seat and let’s unravel this matrimonial mess!

Wedding planning is a whirlwind, and coordinating colors keeps chaos at bay. Our bride shared the navy-and-grey scheme with her MIL, who promised to let Mom pick first and complement the vibe. Weeks later, a surprise photo revealed a near-ivory gown—fancier than the bride’s! Stunned, she enlisted her fiancé to intervene, insisting on a swap. MIL, stuck with a no-return policy, bought another dress, but tempers flared. Bridezilla or boundary-setter? This saga’s got us buzzing!

‘AITA for making my MIL buy a different dress for my wedding?’

When my husband and I were getting married, both sides of the family were really excited. During the planning, one thing you do is coordinate what colors/outfits people in the wedding party will wear.

I was talking to my MIL about our plans and told her our color schemes. She was excited to buy a dress and while I didn’t really care if they matched the bridal party, she said she wanted to complement the color scheme.

My bridesmaids were wearing Navy Blue and the groomsmen were wearing Grey suits. My MIL said she was going to let my mom pick her dress first and then go off of that. A few weeks later, out of the blue I got a text from her saying she picked her dress.

I was surprised since she said she’d let my mom go first, I didn’t even know she was going shopping. But then she sent a picture of her dress. It was a freaking wedding dress!! It was an ivory color, lots of beading, and it even had a small train.

She kept saying it was “cream champagne” colored, but it was basically a wedding dress. My own dress was ivory and they looked like the same color. Hers honestly had even more detail than mine.

I basically didn’t respond to her text at first. I was so annoyed and I told my husband (then fiancé) to deal with it. I told her she needed to return it and she wouldn’t be wearing it to the wedding. She needed to get something else.

She wasn’t able to return the dress because most dress places have a no-returns policy, so she had to eat the cost of it. She ended up buying another dress but she wasn’t happy about it and was angry she had to spend double the money.

Anyone I’ve told this story to has had one of two reactions: either she was totally not cool for doing that, or I was being a total bridezilla by making her buy a second dress.

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Weddings spark joy, but a dress duel can dim the glow! Our redditor faced a classic clash: her MIL’s “cream champagne” gown—beaded, trailing, and bridal—threatened to upstage her big day. The bride, understandably miffed, demanded a change, while MIL, hit with extra costs, felt the sting. It’s a tangle of etiquette, emotions, and unspoken rules, with both sides feeling the heat.

Wedding etiquette isn’t just tradition—it’s a peacekeeper. Expert planner Amy Shack Egan, in a 2024 Brides article, states, “Guests should avoid white, ivory, or anything resembling a bridal gown to honor the couple’s moment” (see Brides). MIL’s choice, with its train and flair, crossed a line, signaling a bid for attention—intentional or not. The bride’s swift reaction protected her day, though silence at first fueled tension.

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This taps a wider issue: wedding guest boundaries. A 2023 The Knot survey found 72% of brides stress over guest attire missteps (see The Knot). Communication is key—MIL’s skip on consulting Mom or bride sparked the snag. Etiquette demands deference to the couple’s vision, especially for close family.

Egan advises, “Check in before buying—send a photo, confirm the vibe.” For our bride, stand firm but soften the blow: acknowledge MIL’s excitement, suggest elegant non-bridal options like a deep teal dress. Moving forward, clear chats avoid drama.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit crew—sharp and hilarious! Did MIL try to steal the spotlight, or was the bride too harsh? The crowd’s dishing opinions with a side of sass!

teresajs − NTA. You know what dress places have no return policies? Bridal dress shops.. Your MIL bought a wedding dress. She's got no room to complain if she wasn't allowed to wear it.. Edit: Thank you for the award, kind stranger!

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Dead_before_dessert − Ah...the rare /r/justnomil, spotted in the wild.. NTA.. You know who wears wedding dresses to weddings? The bride. That's some weird and socially inappropriate behavior right there.

s-mores − NTA. You don't wear white to someone else's wedding. You DEFINITELY do not wear white for your son's wedding. She's not spending double money, she spent money for the dress she's going to wear, and then she spent some money on a wedding dress because she's delusional.

I'd work on your husband a bit to make sure he knows the ONLY CORRECT RESPONSE if anyone complains about it -- 'I'm marrying one woman that day, and it ain't my mom.'. NTA.

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UnazKiim − NTA. Even the calmest of brides would be annoyed at this. Everyone should know you don't wear a white (or even off white) dress to a wedding. It's a matter of common sense. The fact that it even had a train and more detailing than yours makes it even weirder that she got it.

rammy3314 − NTA It’s common courtesy not to wear anything even close to white to someone’s wedding.

certain_people − Ah now even as a straight guy with no appreciation for fashion unwritten rules, I know this one is a big no! NTA because you did nothing wrong and I can't believe she complained, seriously, if I know this one, there's no way she didn't.

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PhoenixRisingToday − NTA First of all, she said she would let your mom go first. So she should have let your mom go first. Second, her dress shouldn’t look anything like a wedding dress. A train? So silly on the mother of the groom.

She can be mad, but she should be mad at herself for going against what she originally offered to do. Also it would have been simple to send a pic of the dress to you & your mom before purchasing. She made a lot of mistakes here.

anchovie_macncheese − NTA.. r/justnoMIL or r/weddingshaming would love to hear about this.

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MGDarion − NTA. You don’t wear something that looks close to a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding unless they okay it. She overstepped and should’ve asked before buying.

silly_sarahSG1 − NTA. I don’t understand mothers who want to wear wedding dresses to their sons weddings, eww for so many reasons. Good for you for shutting that down right away.... just for fun though can you show us the champagne cream totally not a wedding dress dress????

These fiery takes light up Reddit, but do they nail the vibe? Is this a clear etiquette foul, or a bridezilla moment?

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This wedding dress dust-up serves up a big question: was the bride right to demand a new gown, or should MIL’s “cream champagne” dream have stayed? A near-ivory dress sparked a showdown, testing etiquette and family ties. With no returns and double costs, feelings ran high, but tradition leans toward the bride. What would you do if your MIL’s dress rivaled yours? Drop your thoughts, stories, and sage advice below—let’s untangle this bridal brawl together!

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