AITA for asking my wife’s friend who has been staying with us for 6 months to sleep in a bedroom instead of our couch?

Imagine tiptoeing through your own home, a mug of coffee in hand, trying not to wake the guest sprawled across your couch like it’s their personal kingdom. For six months, this guy’s been a fixture in this couple’s life—his wife’s friend, crashing in a van, then bouncing between kids’ rooms during summer camp season. He bends over backward, shifting his work-from-home setup to clear a bedroom, only to find the friend still hogging the living room sofa, turning common spaces into a no-go zone.

The tension simmers as he gently asks his wife to nudge her pal toward the bedroom—hardly a wild demand! But cue the drama: the friend storms out, the wife’s fuming, and he’s left scratching his head. You can feel his frustration—his home, his rules, right? Was he out of line, or is this a case of guest entitlement gone wild?

‘AITA for asking my wife’s friend who has been staying with us for 6 months to sleep in a bedroom instead of our couch?’

My wife’s friend has been staying with us for 6 months, give or take. We don’t get along, but we just stay clear of each other and it’s fine. They mostly have been staying out in a van with a bed, but because it’s summer time, it’s been getting too hot in the van, so they’ve been alternating between staying in my kids room’s while the kids are on various summer camp trips.

I was posted up in one of my kids rooms working from home while we had some work done on our kitchen. But I moved my computer out of the room and into my bedroom as to give my wife’s friend a room to stay in.

Today, I asked my wife to talk to her friend about not sleeping on the couch in common areas, as it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I can’t use them and I have to be quiet when I walk anywhere in my home. I only asked this of my wife’s friend AFTER I cleared a room for them.

My wife’s fiend stormed out of the house tonight and my wife I furious that I would make such a request, uprooting the from the comfort of my couch to sleep in a room.. Am I the a**hole here? Is there something I’m missing??

Six months of a houseguest—van, kids’ rooms, now the couch—turns this home into a sitcom with no laugh track. This husband’s request to move his wife’s friend to a bedroom, after clearing space, seems tame, yet it sparked a storm-out and a spousal showdown. He’s dodging the couch-dweller, feeling like a stranger in his own living room, and that’s a fair gripe—home’s your sanctuary, not a hostel.

The clash? Guest comfort versus homeowner rights. The friend’s acting like a co-tenant, while the wife’s siding with her pal, sidelining her husband’s say. A 2023 Pew Research survey shows 68% of couples cite shared decision-making as key to harmony—here, the scales tip unevenly. Why the couch obsession when a bed’s ready?

Dr. John Gottman, relationship guru, says, “Compromise is the heartbeat of a partnership; ignoring one’s needs breeds resentment”. The friend’s entitlement—six months, no rent, storming out—clashes with the husband’s patience. Suggest a calm sit-down: set a move-out timeline, clarify house rules (bedroom, not couch), and split costs if they linger. He’s not the villain—home’s for living, not whispering.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Here’s the Reddit crowd, serving spicy takes with a dash of humor, like a backyard BBQ debate gone viral:

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Artichoke-8951 − INFO. Why has your wife's friend been staying with you six months?

Lildiar − Umm what? Why is your wife mad?

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jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj − NTA I feel the friend *and* your wife have become far too used to this arrangement so it seems normal to them. It shouldn't be. The friend is acting like they are an equal member of the family rather than a guest who has overstayed their welcome and is getting far too comfortable in someone else's home.

Your wife also needs to be reminded that *you and her* are equals in the house and should get half a say each and the friend's opinion shouldn't count. It's one thing catering to a guest who is visiting for a short duration and another having to deal with a guest who has forgotten that they were ever supposed to leave and is treating your home

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as if they have just as much right to it as you do. You have been tolerant until now, letting your wife have her way, with the friend staying for so long -- but that shouldn't be mistaken for your wife having the right to set the rules or them somehow getting two thirds of the vote on how things should be in the house.

If anything, the pendulum has been swung over to your wife's side for far too long and it's high time it swung back to your side to get some balance and fairness happening. The friend not sleeping in the common areas is the least of it.

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They should make plans to get out. Acting like they own the place or are another spouse who can storm off and give you the silent treatment or whatever is ludicrous.

RedHurz − NTA - So let me get this straight: Your wifes friend is living on your property/in your house for free for 6 months now. In that time you are building a small home for them on your property.

And that simple request send them over the edge. All that while you don't get a say about that friend staying with you indefinetly?. I think you have a lot of problems on your hands, however being an a**hole isn't one of them.. May i ask who is financing all of this?

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Fantastic-Focus-7056 − NTA. That is a very reasonable request. Especially when there is a bedroom available. 6 months is a long time for a house guest! Especially one you don't particularly like. I feel like you are being very accomodating as it is. You are allowed to feel comfortable in your own home.

SarahL1990 − NTA. I don't understand why someone would prefer a couch over a bed.

_radish234 − NTA. But please don’t allow this person to move into the shed you’re building in the backyard. Or at the very least insist on some sort of tenancy agreement that makes it clear what they need to contribute

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how utility bills will be handled, and puts a term on them staying with you - even if it’s extended beyond that term, you need a firm timeframe for when things can be reviewed. This person is taking the p**s.

Ok_Two_8173 − Feels like there’s a lot of info missing here. Why is she staying with you? Is she paying rent? Why would she want to be out in the common areas if there’s a room available?

Lildiar − This is two scoops of crazy - NTA - offending someone by offering a private room with a proper bed?

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LeftIntroduction7239 − NTA. I am aghast at the audacity of the 'friend'. Six MONTHS without rent, really and they had the audacity to storm out when pointed out that they make the owner uncomfortable? The entitlement is strong in this one.. Edit: pronouns used. sorry for that ✌️

These Reddit roasts light up the chat—does the friend’s audacity take the cake, or is the wife’s fury the real twist?

This saga of couches, bedrooms, and a six-month guest leaves us buzzing—where’s the line between hospitality and a free ride? Our husband bent over backward, offering a room, only to face a storm-out and a furious wife. Is he wrong to crave comfort in his own home, or has this friend overstayed their welcome? A bedroom beats a couch, yet drama reigns. What would you do if a guest claimed your living room for months? Drop your takes, stories, and fixes below—let’s untangle this household mess!

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